Theory on women

Flat chested women tend to be more aggressive than other women because they feel inadequate 


I thin Mummy did not give DD enough tit as a child. 


DD never went to a boarding school with a hugely aggressive matron that used her ample bosom as a sort of battering ram.

DD is so called because, having found no friends at any stage in school from either his own gender or the other, and largely despised by all teachers, he developed a close bond with a mute woman who cleaned the toilets. For a sherbet lemon she would let him suck on one of her three rather too hairy breasts. Tragically she died of cholera after accepting his dare to drink the entire contents of a toilet bowl. This traumatised him beyond imagination and threw him into many years of self hate and confusion including first having three breasts tattooed on his chest, then ultimately going the whole hog and having three implants. He made it known that he wanted to be called Triple D.  However, when he finally qualified as an infants school teacher he recognised that these were one of the causes of his not getting any job offers so he removed one in a shed one night armed with scissors and a bottle of Mount Gay rum.  Unfortunately he didn't remove the middle one but the one on the right so he is a bit lefty if you look at him straight on.  Ironically the scar looks like a vagina and indeed he calls it his vagina and punishes it when he feels angry with himself as he considers this the source of his womanhood temptation. When not berating himself for that, he takes it out on all other women.   He now goes by the name DD which is short for {}DD. The two remaining breasts are known as Kev and Colin, confusingly. 

You two need to get a room and just get your freak on.

Small tits are underrated.  I'd take a shapely small one over a messy big one any day.


I can't believe I've just written that.

You see men who like birds with small chesticles?

Repressed homosexuals, the lot of them.

Yep.  Moss/Portman/most Victoria#s Secret models etc. is not good.  Artertonesque is the starting point nork size for me.

I have seen many tits in my life, never seen a "big messy" one though! 

Albeit, I also had two girlfriends with big Norkage who were aggressive no end


Mmmmmmmmm. Gemma Arterton.

Who pops by a certain pub in Waterloo from time to time by the way.

Gemmas boobs are not small? Not even remotely, rather above average sized

That’s exactly what badders is saying - those are the starting point.

How about this one.  I think there’s a positive correlation between nose shape and breast shape.  Pointy nose = pointy tits.  All evidence strictly anecdotal.

As the late Bruce Forsyth would have said, "I bet you don't get many of those to the pound.  To the pound many of those you don't get, I bet"

Bruce: Quite a mouthful, a mouthful...

Audience: QUITE!

I had to google Gemma Arterton. 

She is not at all ugly is she?