Roll Call and Corona Virus Questionnaire

1. Working from home/still at a virus factory

2. Caught it yet + symptoms/Not caught it yet + symptoms

3. What you want said at your 20 second eulogy before being dumped into a mass grave

4. Name an item you have panic bought that probably wasn't needed, upon reflection

5. Is your pet becoming stressed by all the coronavirus news?

Me first, obv.

1. Still at a virus factory, but going in later.

2. Not caught it yet but sniffly.

3. "He never recovered from being fined for that lost library book.  It shattered his faith in society as a whole."

4. Toilet cleaner.

5. No. She's pretty casual about it all. Still, we whisper just in case.

 

1. Working from home/still at a virus factory

WORKING AT HOME

2. Caught it yet + symptoms/Not caught it yet + symptoms

ABSOLUTELY NO SYMPTOMS AT ALL. 

3. What you want said at your 20 second eulogy before being dumped into a mass grave

MY DEATH IN NO WAY JUSTIFIES EVERYONE LOSING THEIR MINDS AS THEY HAVE. 

4. Name an item you have panic bought that probably wasn't needed, upon reflection

I HAVE NOT PWNIC BOUGHT ANYTHING 

5. Is your pet becoming stressed by all the coronavirus news?

WE HAVE STOLEN A NEIGHBOURS CAT. HE SEEMS HAPPY 

My local kwikemart is stacked to the ceiling with bog roll. Time to go long on amdrex

1. Working from home/still at a virus factory

WFH but I always do

2. Caught it yet + symptoms/Not caught it yet + symptoms

Not caught it yet.

3. What you want said at your 20 second eulogy before being dumped into a mass grave

Sing the Old Orange Flute

4. Name an item you have panic bought that probably wasn't needed, upon reflection

Horseradishes.  Real ones, not shredded in a jar.  Waitrose.com drives you mental.  

5. Is your pet becoming stressed by all the coronavirus news?

She’s an anthropologist so hasn’t noticed anything.

 

1.  WfH

2.  Not caught and no symptoms (perpetual hangover ofc).

3. Why did they think that was a good idea (tip of hat to original author)?

4.  Not panic bought anything.

5.  The three dogs are fine.

1. Working from home/still at a virus factory

In a virus factory

2. Caught it yet + symptoms/Not caught it yet + symptoms

I had a cough last week for a few days, but that seems to have gone, so not sure that counts. 

3. What you want said at your 20 second eulogy before being dumped into a mass grave

He told you he was ill

4. Name an item you have panic bought that probably wasn't needed, upon reflection

Ibuprofen

5. Is your pet becoming stressed by all the coronavirus news?

Haven't got a pet. The birds in our garden seem happy enough. Probably storing up bird flu to inflict on us next

1. Wfh

2. achy joints and headache but likely to be paranoia 

3. she had a lovely life (bar the lawyery bits which were shite and probably wrecked her immune system)

4. Trampoline 

5. n/a - getting a cat soon but may wait until this is over 

1. Working from home/still at a virus factory

At work and looting the IT kit for my home office

2. Caught it yet + symptoms/Not caught it yet + symptoms

Fine so far

3. What you want said at your 20 second eulogy before being dumped into a mass grave

He was a cunt, but at least he knew it unlike most of the other cunts.

4. Name an item you have panic bought that probably wasn't needed, upon reflection

12 inch strap on

5. Is your pet becoming stressed by all the coronavirus news?

My eldest child is freaking out, no pets

1. On holiday (about to take my germs to the countryside).

2. Just usual.

3. *Wrong eulogy for someone else with the same name and DOB*

4. TCP. Wooft the aroma.

5. Street cats all seem fine. Maybe more wistful than usual.

 

 

1. Still at the office. There's this trainee solicitor and those pert boobs aren't going to watch themselves.

2. Not a sniffle.

3. Tragically cut down in the very flower of middle age when he had so many Nectar Points.

4. Cat litter. Any substance which clumps at the first sign of moisture will be the new currency.

5. We're already sizing one another up. Survival of the fittest y'know.

1. still at a virus factory

2. zero symptoms, just tired

3. She lived her life like a candle in the wind (though I would prefer to be put on a boat with all the other dead, set fire too, and pushed out to sea)

4. 12 eggs, its too many eggs

5. I hate animals

1. Working from home/still at a virus factory

WFH

2. Caught it yet + symptoms/Not caught it yet + symptoms

Can't be far off. The wife is in bed on day 3.

3. What you want said at your 20 second eulogy before being dumped into a mass grave

Please God don't put me in the same skip as 3-Ducks and Teclis

4. Name an item you have panic bought that probably wasn't needed, upon reflection

A clutch sensor/sender for a tractor. There is no fault in the clutch but I know where this little devil sits in the system and the same switch manages the blade sensor system, and that went two years ago.  there was only one left on the online store. Online shopping/browsing peril. But seriously why did I buy this. Oh yeah and a tow-roller and a greenhouse.  Today will be more frugal. Got it under control oh yeah. Seriously, though, a big steel roller on Amazon Prime. That's ace and also ridiculous.

5. Is your pet becoming stressed by all the coronavirus news?

My dog is really delighted that I am here all day but very jealous of the cat. Normally she just says hi and bye and then has a lot of weekend and evening time with me. Now she sees me 24/7 that's great but also she sees me talking to the cat.  Today she wouldn't look at me. Just stared into the distance every time I talked to the cat.  I imagine that's what a cheated partner would look like.

 

1. Working from home/still at a virus factory

Home but may go in a couple of times a week as it is faster than remote working.

2. Caught it yet + symptoms/Not caught it yet + symptoms

Not as far as I know.

3. What you want said at your 20 second eulogy before being dumped into a mass grave

She loved Doritos.  And Haribo.

4. Name an item you have panic bought that probably wasn't needed, upon reflection

Nothing. But I should have bought more masks for riding. Damn.

5. Is your pet becoming stressed by all the coronavirus news?

I just started fostering a cat who, instead of loving me and being grateful, is in his third week of hiding under dusty lengths of timber. Cunt. Is this what parenthood is like?

"no symptoms- just tired"

I have had this for weeks. Cannot work out why. Abnormal levels of doziness and fatigue. Hoping better weather and a bit of Spring will improve things.

1. On compulsory lockdown.

2. Zilch.

3. She told you Brexit was a shit idea.

4. I haven't panic bought anything.

5. No pets but kind of wish I did right now.

1. Working from home/still at a virus factory

Working from home (probably better described as simply 'at home')

2. Caught it yet + symptoms/Not caught it yet + symptoms

No. But I'm looking forward to riding the curve...

3. What you want said at your 20 second eulogy before being dumped into a mass grave

"Don't stand too close to my body... ...you've all seen Carrie"

4. Name an item you have panic bought that probably wasn't needed, upon reflection

Rope

5. Is your pet becoming stressed by all the coronavirus news?

No pet, but nature appears to be carrying on regardless. I do think I've seen a glint in the eyes of the carrion crows... ...do they sense what's coming?

A trampoline is an excellent panic buy!

I am wishing I had panic bought a piano.

1. N/A

2. Nothing, I’ve been on self imposed lockdown for weeks.

3. Would like to thank everyone for fulfilling his dying wish of being buried on top of Muttley

4. Not really a panic buy but those 48 Creme eggs feel a little decadent.

5. Jasper is the opposite of stressed.  Currently stretched across a three person sofa, upside down with his head on my lap, paws stretched out, fast asleep.  I think he smokes pot when I’m in bed or something, he’s so chilled out all the time.

1. Working from home/still at a virus factory

VIRUS FACTORY. WFH NOT BEEN DISCUSSED YET

2. Caught it yet + symptoms/Not caught it yet + symptoms

NO SYMPTOMS

3. What you want said at your 20 second eulogy before being dumped into a mass graveyard

HOLD BOTH HANDS AND FEET - YOU GET MORE DISTANCE THAT WAY

4. Name an item you have panic bought that probably wasn't needed, upon reflection

2 PACKS OF MICROWAVE RICE. I DON’T EAT RICE

5. Is your pet becoming stressed by all the coronavirus news?

MY PET DIED A FEW YEARS AGO

  1. WFH
  2. None (wife has persistent cough)
  3. "I told you it wasn't just a fucking cough, but you never listen, do you?" 
  4. The loo roll stash that the children found.  Picture Andrex puppies without the endearing qualities.
  5. No but the kids seem to be learning an awful lot about it at infants school

1 but WFH from tomorrow.

2 nada

3 "fuck's sake"

4 lentils

5 no pets

oh look a list

1. Working from home/still at a virus factory

Virus factory

2. Caught it yet + symptoms/Not caught it yet + symptoms

Not caught it. My invincible immune system will smash the covuvu out of the park.

3. What you want said at your 20 second eulogy before being dumped into a mass grave

Heh! So much for his immune system!

4. Name an item you have panic bought that probably wasn't needed, upon reflection

I nearly bought a camping stove for when the gas and lecky goes out, but just bought a large bag of charcoal for the bbq instead. I may have rather overdone the Calpol, but I figure it will be useful in the imminent barter economy.

5. Is your pet becoming stressed by all the coronavirus news?

No pets at Faff Palace, although I did finally nail our resident super-mouse overnight after a prolonged game of er, cat and mouse. He finally fucked up and got caught, which I assume must have been corona stress related.

1. WFH

2. Some symptoms, but not the big two so don’t think I have it.

3. “He always adored London”

4. UHT skimmed milk. 

5. nope. Sleeps most of the day anyway.

1. Working from home/still at a virus factory

Working from home/roffing (which is the same as what I do at the virus factory)

2. Caught it yet + symptoms/Not caught it yet + symptoms

Bit of a sore throat but don't think it is anything

3. What you want said at your 20 second eulogy before being dumped into a mass grave

He is survived by his wife and 2 children

4. Name an item you have panic bought that probably wasn't needed, upon reflection

nothing. Wife has bought some jars of pasta sauce and curry sauce. I am quite capable of making all of these from fresh and they would be much nicer than that shit

5. Is your pet becoming stressed by all the coronavirus news?

We have already lost one hamster during this. Coincidence???

1. WFH indefinitely and have been for over a week

2. Had mild symptoms at the weekend but on reflection, probs not

3. Meh

4. N/A

5. My dog lives with my mum. I think she's fine.

1. I'm on the front line here. Taking my troops into battle.

WFH? WFH is for wimps. 

2. No, but tbh my body is very used to fighting off viruses. I'm not worried.

3. FFS I knew a pension was a waste of time.

4. A first class flight to Cape Town. It seemed like quite a good deal.

5. No pets.

1. WFH pretty much unless it cant be done remotely

2. Not caught anything yet (Covid related, at least)

3. Who would have thought "6 feet under" would be a bad thing

4. Aldi instant noodles. Will have to get very desperate before I resort to those.

5. No pets

1. At home but not working

2. Not caught it and no symptoms, was just sent home.

3. Dunno, just have a shot and give me a toast.

4. Haven't really panic bought anything. Going shopping later.

5. No pets.

1. WFH

2. About a week a half ago I came down with something, felt shit and stayed in bed for about 4 or 5 days. Dizzy, headache, short of breath, really weak and aching limbs, mild fever. No cough though. Was that the deadly vuvu? Who the fvck knows?

3. Talk to me Goose. Oh. 

4. Yeah, wish I had stocked up on paracetamol instead of ibuprofen.  Waiting for nursery to shut down as an excuse to buy a Nintendo Switch.
 

5. No pets.

1. wfh 

2. had rotten flu in feb but I suspect normal seasonal and not the vuvu

3. later dude

4.i may order a camera later

5. no pets; plants all still doing well