ROF ladies- appropriate time to wait before texting again to ask someone out?

Saw her reading a book at Costa and asked her about it.

The face-to-face chat was great, and got her number.

Texted her the next day, but she stopped responding after a few texts.

Should I wait a week and ask if she'd like to get dinner etc.?

Was the next day today or was it some days ago?  If it was some days ago then what Chimp said but if today is the day after and she's been at work give her a chance to get home and see if she then responds.

The book was Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus.

No I'm not Russell Brand.

It's been two days.

I'll consider calling... but isn't it a bit aggressive to do if she ain't responding to texts?

Yes, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone approach someone in a coffee shop and chat them up like that. I think my assumption would probably be that someone reading their book in a coffee shop doesn’t want to talk to me

What was the point in going up to a stranger in a coffee shop, getting their number if you weren't going to ask them out for a drink/coffee/meal in the first couple of texts?

You got her details the traditional way. She probably thought there's a welcome change, someone whose confident enough to put themselves out there with a stranger, this feels exciting,

Then you go and spoil it by acting like you're on a dating app. You saw her in real life, got her number from her in person. Get to know here on the first date like everyone used to do.

 

 

Yeah, the first text conversation should have been an invitation to meet up... You can't wait a week then text out of the blue and ask her out ffs.

Unless it is really obvious she actively isn't responding i.e. the conversation has just petered out because you are being lame then text again tomorrow with a cheery good morning message including some reference to the book or whatever and assuming she responds to that, ask her out for a drink. 

You got her details the traditional way. She probably thought there's a welcome change, someone whose confident enough to put themselves out there with a stranger, this feels exciting,

Be confident enough to call and leave a simple message if you hit voicemail. Like AR says, you're on a very refreshing old school track, so pull it through.  

I am by no means an expert 

But a call and then if there is no response (could even leave a voicemail) within day 24 hours delete the number and get on with your life 

She is obviously a literary. Very traditional. She will be expecting a letter:

Mir sträubt sich schon das Haar,

Der Vater willigt ein;

Mir wird so wunderbar,

Mir fällt kein Mittel ein.

The book was Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus.

I think you have been messaging my wife. (Based on the fact that my wife has been carrying this around for about two months reading what cannot be more than a few pages at a time.)  Is having this book some sort of coded message re availability?

heh, yes this sounds a bit mad. Don’t worry though, the chance of her actually answering the phone is less than 1%

That is true of course, but it will show her i) confidence, ii) character, and iii) that he is not a sociopath that can only communicate via touch screen. 

Just text her asking her if she's up for a drink / coffee. Ffs you've done the hard part of getting a strangers number and now wimping out at the early stage.

Wot Actus Reus said at 18.11.

She probably felt it was refreshing for someone to speak to her in a traditional fashion, without fear of some crazy injunction or #metoo style public shaming. 

Act on it.

Um, what others said about not calling her.

But texting is okay, and asking her out by text at this point is still okay. If she says no though, let it go.

I would also like to say that I admire your chutzpah, son! 

Also, only the socially inept think that striking up a conversation with strangers is sth odd or singular.

Yes, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone approach someone in a coffee shop and chat

You mustn't spend much time in coffee shops. It happens to me about once a week. Not because I'm a stunnah (though entirely possible of course) but because it's a social venue. I've been reading/working/chatting with friends and have had people strike up a convo (some for a chat, some to meet up again). This is what normal, socially capable people do.  

Ps what did pple think of Lessons In Chemistry? I'd give it a 6-7/10. My best mate hated it. I've never heard her rant more ragingly about anything apart from her mother-in-law.

You mustn't spend much time in coffee shops. It happens to me about once a week. Not because I'm a stunnah (though entirely possible of course) but because it's a social venue. I've been reading/working/chatting with friends and have had people strike up a convo (some for a chat, some to meet up again). This is what normal, socially capable people do.  
 

If you say so. I haven’t seen it much, but maybe I’m just not looking.

Given previous texts it's clear she gave you her real number. So just text and suggest a drink/coffee or something!!

I liked the book Sizz, but I did it on audible so maybe that helped? It felt like a relatively unique story which I liked.

Ps what did pple think of Lessons In Chemistry? I'd give it a 6-7/10.

I loved the first half (especially Six-Thirty) but found it tailed off when the cookery programme started. It ran out of steam/originality and everyone being one happy family at the end seemed a bit of a cliche.  

I loved Six-Thirty! 

SPOILER ALERT:

I also love the idea that nerdy socially inept people can find love. Namely with other nerdy, socially inept people, but still. (Don't give Roffers, it can happen!)

That said I did not enjoy the sudden untimely demise of a main character.

That kid was ridiculous. Yeah yeah she's a genius and reads at a high-level but you can't tell me that a five year old has the emotional and psychological capacity to process and understand the authors that she was reading, especially when her own parents/genetic stock were emotionally obtuse.

I thought there wasn't enough cooking, Kimmy!

Meh, I think I'm more critical when I'm reading a hard copy book cf audio. But luuurve audible.

 

Well yeah, it wasn't totally rooted in reality obvs, but I found it an enjoyable read and told from an interesting voice. Six thirty was probably the best part. The sudden event was not enjoyable but was a great plot device. I'm interested to see how they adapt it for screen.

Things are ok I think thanks. The last few months have been fvcking awful though. Some idiots promoted me again and I've been up to my eyes in work, doing 13h days excluding breaks/food etc and working weekends so I haven't had much opportunity to have a life or create any scandal. However, I've almost finished recruiting my management team so things *should* start to settle down soon once I'm able to do one job instead of two...

I've looked in here from time to time but is there any big goss I've missed?! How is everyone?

I worked with a chap who was on the face of it very successful with the ladies and I’d put it down to the fact that he was a sometime blues rugby player, rowed for TCD, all the Irish chat.  On closer observation is was mostly that he never stopped trying - not persistently with one person - he wouldn’t push it but he’d then move on to asking the next one and the next one.
 

ask away, and if nothing doing ask the next one.  

 Text:  I enjoyed meeting you. How about a drink/coffee, one day/night, in person/online? It would be great to continue the conversation.

 

Too weak/platonic? Add a winky smile! (and actually type it out with a semi-colon, dash and bracket like we had to do in the 90s/00s)         ;-)

You should not have texted, but never mind.

Call her and ask her out somewhere v low-key / casual. 

If she not pick up, voicemail. 

Then delete her number, never call her again, and get on with your life.