Relationship books

I’m going to write one I think.

If this nonsense has sold a million copies worldwide then honestly....  what a complete pile of shit.

Have you ever been made to read this nonsense?

I'm going to call mine "Keeping your head high in the age of internet dating" except the actual title will be snappier

Give it ten minutes tecco and I’m sure it will turn out you’ve done just that. 

ZG: actually it takes years to get the old candles turned upside down.  Annoying yet true.

Like you I was once forced to read MAFMWAFV. As far as I recall it just says that when a woman complains to you about something, she does not want you to suggest solutions (unless she asks for them), she just wants you to listen. Not a bad lesson but learning it over the course of 300 pages of repetition is quite painful.

In order for a self-help book to be successful you need one simple idea to advertise the book with and then repeat 1200 times. What is yours?

I think my idea is: Celibacy, because women be fucking menkle.

I mean seriously, I have a beautiful 27 year old girlfriend who I have worried about, looked after and entertained her children, she even has expressed how much she want to give me a child or two.  A boy and a girl, her exact fucking words.

they don’t need to live in that house, I would love to move them and me into Tecco Towers.  They love it there anyway, all got their own bedrooms and living rooms and bathrooms, why not?

But no, she won’t.  I have no idea why. 

You seem to want a pet, not a girlfriend. Can I suggest a labrador?

I have a labradoodle!!! Jasper!  He’s beautiful and the kids love him.

Tecco you need to be renowned as a lover all along the Cornish coast then women will flock to your towers. Keeping the windows open so the people in the pub garden can hear your lovemaking is a good tactic to drum up interest. 

Why does he want a pet if he wants his gf with kids to move into his big house? He wants people there, ie not be alone, kinda normal 

This is the same girlfriend you basically call a bit of rough and who has a drug dealer?. And that's been a girlfriend about 3 months?

I don't believe any of your shit I'm just bored.

I can’t imagine anyone less appropriate or qualified to write a book on how to have a healthy relationship than dear old Teccers.

It’s a bit like Harold Shipman writing a book for young GP’s about how to perfect a great bedside manner...