Pube heads

Some of you may remember a few years ago I saw a man in my football changing room who was very very hairy yet had a waxed groin - he looked like a child was colouring in a bear but refused to colour in the groin.

 

Well yesterday I saw his kodak negative.  A man as hairless as a fish but with a thatch of pubes so voluminous it was like a 60s beehive haircut. Amazing. Like someone sellotaped a bird's nest to a Greek statue. 

I was defo a Jacob when at university.  Now ai am almost like one of clubbers' 60% neanderthal offspring.  No shaving other than the cherubic visage obv.  Pls feel free to vom accordingly.

There's a chap who uses our apartment's swimming pool on the weekends who must be German. 

Speedos (with no discernible creeping spiders' legs), great ghillie suit of a back and chest but manscaped as an egg on his fat belly.

One assumes somebody, at some point, must have told him that looked good.  It just makes me want to rub his belly for luck.

Body hair is pointless. I shave it all. As a guy, the only body hair that can vaguely look good is chest hair if you have a proper seventies style rug. I do not, so it’s all off. Yes including downstairs since you ask. Shaved bald.

I purchased top o' range manscaper last time I was able and it still chewed my scrote to mince.

Have since given up bothering.  Can't be arsed with the regularity required to prevent a haemorrhage of an area populated by a surprising number of capillaries.