pls recommend me films that will make me happy

and no pets in peril

There aren't any films like that. You've described all films

why not just wallow for a bit?

Have you seen “Lucy”?

American History X

I think Lucy might be the precise opposite of what I need right now.

I don't want to wallow, tho, Linda, it's sore.

I remember watching The Circle (about Iranian women) alone on my 20th birthday after a boy had been horrible. I'm not that girl any more!

I actually quite liked American history X

That kerbing scene might be most satisfying in a different light

No pets, no romance, no bittersweet ending. Just a supercool kickass chick <3

Sorry I think I was thinking of something else

What's happened Clergs? You been dumped ?

Happens to the best of us

Sounds as though you need a good Western

Shane

Big Country

Gunfight OK Corral Douglas / Lancaster

Magnificent 7

The Sting

Butch Cassidy

Butch Cassidy is tragic what are you talking about

I think it’s The Rock you are after

You should watch die hard

There’s romance in that.

Do you like giant robots fighting sea monsters in a cyberpunk future earth? If so go for Pacific rim

Oo yes! You know who flourishes in spite of romantic setback? John McLain.

Doesn’t he get back together with his misses tho? Possibly not the right message.

Butch Cassidy is a romp

Ok they all die in the end, but don't we all?

The Handmaiden

Another vote for Butch Cassidy. Awesome film!

P.S. Sorry to hear it didn't work out. I promise I do mean that genuinely and I hope you're doing ok x

I have read the synopsis for the handmaiden and have only this to say

:-|

Defo an action film or something classic like Goodfellas

I don't think I've ever seen that

Airplane!

(assuming this isn't a trick question)

There is a bit of romance but a lot of good gangster mafia drama/action. It’s a very good film.

In that case defo Goodfellas

Ok I will do this

Airplane is a truly dreadful film, but I think you've got to watch it so you get "I was under Over and Over was under Dunn", "stop calling me Shirley!" and "[explanation] but that's not important right now".

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri

Ok, The Handmaiden doesn't quite fit the bill. What about Best in Show?

Catch me if you can

snatch ( for the lols)

and yes, the mob films, v absorbing

little miss sunshine

And a late entry that I just thought of.

Constantine.

No love, no bittersweet bollocks just super awesome magic and angels and demons and stuff. Keanu Reeves.

Moana

Captain Marvel

Frozen (girl power)

Moana too actually, zero men shite

Game of Thrones binge? People mostly die and no one really loves anyone, there's just a lot of shagging.

Anything Disney... Alice in Wonderland? Again no men and love n stuff but she just gets a bit confused and the world is just too much but magic tea makes things better.

Toy stories?

Your GoT summation made me do an actual lol, meh.

The Help

The King's Speech

Hot Fuzz

Matilda

True Grit

Which film did you go for?

True Grit (remake) is also an excellent suggestion.

Myranda loved Ramsay :(

Can’t believe you forget them Meh.

#teamdreadfort

Wild Rose for sure - gobby Glaswegian jailbird and country music. No romance.

the fisherman’s Friends one is also v sweet and fluffy but does have romance

watch heimat

police academy :)

I have a handle on anomie. Here's my definitive happy place list:

Bladerunner (Final or Director's Cut)

Clockwork Orange

Seventh Seal

Wild Strawberries

Tous Les Matins Du Monde

La Cite Des Enfant Purdu

Delicatessen

Jesus of Montreal

Beyond the Clouds

The Andromeda Strain

The Omen (NOT the risible (except for Pete Postlethwaite) remake)

Under Siege 2

Funeral in Berlin

Thunderball

The Ipcress File

Salem's Lot

The Exorcist (extended version)

[list ends]

Pitch Perfect 1/2/3 - the romance is so incidental to the fun music

Whip It - the romance is flung aside and it's very much a friendship/coming of age movie

Mean Girls - Aaron Samuels is gay IRL, so just remember that

Toy Story 1-3

My Fair Lady - old school musical action, no romance (Freddy is a drip and it doesn't go anywhere) but music and dresses and things, so nice

Baywatch The Movie - SO dumb, so much fun

Chronicles of Narnia - TALKING ANIMALS

Zootopia - TALKING ANIMALS

You can tell my viewing does not extend to gritty dramas or heavy hitters. I like fluff, fun and cartoons.

I'd recommend "Without a Paddle". Brilliant.

Also "Revenge of the Nerds".

The irony of badders recommending a film that doesn’t include a paddle is delicious.

I'd go back to the 80s every time. Trading Places would be my rec.

Romance tho Clive.

Only a little bit right at the end

That is not irony, Teclis. Check your definitions. Not irony either in the classical sense, nor in the modern sense. Nor does it make sense, since I do not engage in activities which require a paddle (S&M aside).

Plus Trading Places has JLC's splendid boobs.

Mmmmmmmm, boobies.

CINEMA PARADISO

Have you seen What We Do In The Shadows? It's bizarre, funny and has about 3 very brief scenes that you could say were romantic if you squinted.

As badders said, poss my fave moment in cinema.

closely followed by Ackroyd stuffing a whole salmon into a santa suit.

Of the movies in which Al Pacino rants (which I think is what you might like) the very best are Carlito's Way, and Heat.

Then when you run out of Al Pacino, move on to 'Widows'. As the name would suggest, all the male characters are out of the picture from the start and the women get on with things, by buying guns and acquiring a getaway driver. Would that help?

What is really needed here is a good dose of Jean-Claude Van Damme.

No Wromance. No Wrongness. No Wresponsibility. No Wreaking of a Better World.

Just endless bangs, crashes, wallops and gunfire. Larded with a bit of muscle and some tats.

Its also OK if you fall asleep for ten minutes in the middle as you can still follow the plot without any difficulty.

Commando.

WO. IST. CHANEY?

One of my fave films is White Mischief. Whilst the subject matter does involve a lot of partner swapping amongst the upper classes, it is fun.

I second The Omen and Exorcist supra.

Is that the pone about the Happy Valley set?

yes, but not the BBC Charles Dance one, which I cannot find anywhere.

Greta Scaachi (sp??) is incredibly beautiful in White Mischief.

Charles Dance is in the film. As are Sarah Miles and Greta Scacchi.

oh yes, sorry Charles Dance is in that version. Dammit.

he is a very dashing Earl of Errol.

I was confusing him with Denholm Elliot.

PS on that note, TV. mini-series Bangkok Hilton is very good for cheering.

heh is it?!?!

in a there but for the grace of God sort of way?

every time I think of that place I get stressed out about bras being currency

oh yes, Nicole Kidman is wonderful.

it's great to see the development of her character from nervous shy teenager to plucky heroine.

She is a pretty good icon, I reckon.

I am watching Atomic Blonde on the train. That would be perfect for you, I think!

#trainwine

- The Straight Story

- Top Secret! (has very superficial romance but you honestly won't mind it)

- From Ghibli: any of Spirited Away, My Neighbour Totoro, Kiki's Delivery Service and/or Howl's Moving Castle

- Le Bossu (1997 version with Daniel Auteuil - caveat as for Top Secret!)

- Ferris Bueller's Day Off (assume seen, but you never know, see also Clueless)

- Isle Of Dogs

- Chef (the Jon Favreau one, not the sh1te Lenny Henry TV series)

I saw a film that made me laugh a fair bit the other day. Must be about 10 years old by now. There are two of this - same screenplay, one US version (which is truly shite) and one, original, English version which is the funny one. It’s called Death at a Funeral, and has a big cast of English actors including Matthew MacFadyen, Keely Hawes, Alan Tudyk, Peter Dinklage and others.