Perfect Cooked Breakfast

Sausages - 2

Unsmoked back bacon  - 2

fried egg - 1

Black pudding 3 slices

mushrooms (dark and over cooked)

Fried half tomato

toast (white bread, hot with real butter)



All good quality ingredients, no fucking about.

no beans, no hash brown, no chips, no waffles, rarely scrambled egg, never a poached egg.  tattie scones or potato breads are allowed for regional variation.

Allow beans this instant! Otherwise you are a certified pedo guy

good list jelly

i always find fried half tomatoes disappointing - either too hard or squidge immediately upon touch

People who like beans in a FRIED BREAKFAST are wrong.  It can be proven on a broken solar calculator in a darkened room.

  • sausages x 2
  • smoked bacon x 2
  • egg poached
  • beans 
  • shrooms in butter
  • toasted muffin
  • 2e
  • OJ
  • maybe fresh hash if hungry

Drop the tomato, add another egg and a hash brown 

Tomato is required so that, under EU law, it qualifies as a salad.  Take back control.

Have the beans on toast for your lunch. That is permitted and even encouraged.

Having them on the same plate as your breakfast - particularly when they might touch the eggs - is the mark of someone who should be on some sort of register.

  • sausages x 2
  • smoked bacon x 2
  • egg poached
  • beans (heinz, none of this poncy stuff of actual beans in actual tomato)
  • toast (white bread in triangle, hot. with real butter)
  • mimosa

Yep beans are a must as is some fried toast, hashies, and white pudding.  I would grill the tomato, the bacon and saussies, but do the beans in the pan you've fried anything in.  Personally I go for scrambled eggs because I don't like the white bit on a fried egg that much.

Americans cook two brekkie items very well - hash browns (best i have had were in seattle, more of a potato lattice than the ones we get here, and bacon.  Bacon should be crispy, not soggy and oozing whitish watery goo

The idea of a fry up without beans is making my mouth dry up and the baby jesus cry.

Beans are a must as they balance the saltiness of the bacon...c'mon ppl this is basic shiz 

Riskys plate is fine, except that little bowl of beans needs to be put in the nearest bin 

and i actually prefer branston beans to heinz 

don't @me

I think risky's plate is acceptable, but lacking in brown sauce.

Moisture is why you have orange juice and coffee to drink with your breakfast.

Bean nonces.

One thing we agree on ‘Sider, Branston beans boss Heinz.

People who don't have beans with a fry-up are the fvcking worst - it tells a lot about a person

yeah pour that OJ all over your breakfast strutts - you breakfast amateur!

a m5 taught me years ago to split the sausage lengthways and squirt brown sauce in

it was a game changer

Scrambled eggs are always preferable to fried although fried are perfectly acceptable.

Hash browns with plenty of salt are vital especially if hungover.

Mushrooms are Satan's own food and should never be found in any kitchen.

A good breakfast alternative is crispy bacon with scrambled eggs on toast and tinned tomatoes.

wrong thread CS, we're talking about breakfast here

I can't believe you would eschew baked beans and hash browns!!

Strutter sees both a vegetables and therefore the work of lucifer

i would happily switch out the tomato for beans or have the tomato

i literally would not care

excited big bang theory GIF

A breakfast thread, one of my all time favorite topics 

I did this EXACT thread about two weeks ago FFS.

Sausages - 3

SMOKED back bacon  - 2

fried egg - 2

Black pudding 2 slices

mushrooms (dark and over cooked)

Hash brown

toast (white bread, hot with real butter)



bacon x 3

sausage x 1

mushrooms fried in butter

freshly scrambled eggs

beans on homemade wholemeal hot buttered toast

tommy k


glass of water


Just cooked brunch.

3 x Rashers of bacon

2 x Fried eggs

1 x Pile of fried mushrooms

2 x North Staffordshire Oatcakes

1 x Big mug of tea (two sugars)

I actually prefer the following although not strictly a cooked breakfast.


2 x Sourdough Toast (buttered)

1 x Avocado (1/2 per toast; chipotle flakes and mustard seeds on top)

2 x Poached Eggs (well seasoned)

4 x Streaky Bacon Rashers (2 per toast; smoked)

1 x Leisurely Drizzle of Sriracha 


Assembled in that order. 

Consumed with black coffee and orange juice.

Brekkie of champions.

you use paper plates at home?  Must make a right mess in the dishwasher...

I have had many great breakfasts in my time. When I lived in the US I came to the conclusion that they do boozy brunch better than anyone. The best I had was at the Four Seasons in Georgetown. I practically rolled out of there after all the mimosas. But that is brunch which is a different meal and will often see me seated until 2pm. For breakfast I think the Hawksmoor Guildhall breakfast for 2 come close to perfection and they do excellent booze:

Smoked bacon chop, sausages, (made with pork, beef, & mutton), black pudding, short-rib bubble & squeak, grilled bone marrow, trotter baked beans, fried eggs, grilled mushrooms, roast tomatoes, HP gravy, unlimited toast

nah JM at work, Vuvu regs mean all disposable stuff which is apparently fully compostable

Kippers are actually excellent dux. Full agreement here. I quite like them cold which is probably a bit odd.


Eating kippers always makes me feel like Bertie Wooster.

""Right ho! Bring me my whangee, my yellowest shoes, and the old green Homburg. I'm going into the Park to do pastoral dances.”

Hash browns are an American invention and have absolutely no place anywhere in the kitchen apart from the bin.


the actual breakfast was v tasty, homemade chilli jam being the winner

yeah, move back to Brighton become a hipster douchebag


Kerrist, Mrs M thought we should move to the countryside (i.e. Brighton) to be more Covid-free. You're not selling it, man. 

You know how when you go to a hotel and the breakfast menu has on it the full english or whatever and runs through whats on the plate, its just a list of whats available isnt it, I mean, does anyone, ever, order and eat the whole lot?

Er,  why has no one mentioned eggy bread?  Or, if fancy "French Toast".

tbf JM it is good down here, pubs and restaurants are good if you avoid the tourist shite, quality of life better, got the sea, river and downs and london only an hour away

'sider, if by next summer you are wearing cropped trousers and shoes with no socks i will disown you.  OK?

heh, erm only Brighton College and Roedean as far as I am aware, could always send them to Bede's if you want co-ed...

Pile of blueberry pancakes, lightly smoked streaky bacon, butter, maple syrup, black coffee and a manmosa. 

If we have to do English then:

2x sausages 

3x smoked bacon

pile of scrambled eggs

2x slices of black pudding

heinz baked beans

3x toast (cheap sliced white)

half tomato 

button mushrooms

mug of tea (no sugar)

Brighton is not really Sussex because it’s full of hipsters, hippies and other general degenerates and the sort of people who have avocado for breakfast.

Scrambled eggs is a completely different breakfast and has no place on a full English plate. 
Sausages, smoked bacon, black pudding, fried or poached eggs, mushrooms, beans, fried bread, brown sauce, OJ, tea.

As someone has mentioned french toast I will say that I make an amazing peanut butter and jam (I refuse to call it jelly) french toast with brioche.

The best cooked breakfast I’ve had was a Gary Wilmot’s wedding. 

not even surpassed by Sonia's efforts in the static caravan...

Kedgeree followed by Cold Toast, butter and marmalade

2x strong coffees

Then a really gratifying opening of the bomb-bays.