Paging Strutter

If I were to be in Waterloo this evening, what are the chances of bumping into you outside a popular watering hole?

None whatsoever I fear.

I am soireeing elsewhere tonight.

Which is a shame in some ways as it looks like being a fine evening to loiter outside a pub in Waterloo.

I think Wellers is saying that you have been "pied" (in reference to a popular Love Island saying)

I still don’t understand. I have never seen Love Island.

I believe it means you've been dumped like a sack of old clothes.