‘Open relationships’

This seems mental to me tbh I don’t know how these people manage it

Almost all open relationships consist of 1 person who wishes it was monogamous, 1 greedy khunt and a side piece. Sometimes the side piece is under the misapprehension they are the main event 

I am in danger of becoming a side piece Linda and tbh I don’t really mind but it seems bizarre to me

I’ve thought about this but I think something in the main relationship must die 

Disagree. Mate and her husband are in an open relationship. After their child was borne, their marriage took a nose dive. They both wanted to leave but could not because of their son. Their compromise was dating other people outside their common circle. Seems happy so far. Admittedly her husband faired a bit worse off initially an account of aiming only for the hot early 20s birds who were out of his league. 

Having said that, I think we try to fit all relationships into one model, be it marriage, divorce or open relationships. Each case is unique. What works or does not work for someone may not be the case for others. 

"They both wanted to leave but could not because of their son"

this is a nonsense and almost certainly more due to money than the kid 

"They both wanted to leave but could not because of their son. Their compromise was dating other people outside their common circle. Seems happy so far."

Bollocks.

How is the son?

Which bit of “almost all” confused you?

And I’d wager good money that either one or likely both of that couple aren’t  all that happy. 

And “can’t leave” cos of kids is bullshit. 

ps heh @ it being your mate. You carry on keep telling yourself it’s ok. 

Tbh this is very close to the situation invictus describes. They have a couple of girls and so are pretty committed. For me it’s just someone I like who I can now have sex with so that’s fine but I cannot imagine that as a scenario I’d want long term

I definitely don’t think that traditional relationships suit everyone and some of us seem to find it impossible to resist temptation.

Yup. Psychopathy affects what 4% of the population. Curious that so many of them seem to post on here.  

Thuggy it’s good that you know what percentages are! Could you please make up some nonsense about other ways of measuring things, and then pull some other numbers, furiously, out of your arse... and then use an arbitrary quantifier that you’ve also completely made up? I’ll leave the details up to you

Yup. Psychopathy affects what 4% of the population. Curious that so many of them seem to post on here.  

Add yourself to that list, khuntface. 

 

And they are exactly that, friends. Admittedly, I met them and spoke to them during a patchy period in my own life when I was thinking of exploring alternative lifestyles. My take away after speaking to them and a few others was, as stated above, each case is different. In my case, I was trying to find a solution before identifying what my problem was. So, I did not need to go down that road. 

In the event that I did become polygamous, I do not think I would be ashamed and hide it. This is 2019. My mates are perfectly normal otherwise and her husband is one of the coolest dudes I have ever met. As for the child, I do not see anything different. They know soon, they will have to discuss it with their child and be open and honest about it. 

In our circle theres been a couple of divorces and from what I can tell at least one or two of the kids would much rather their  parents were together so that they can carry on being a family. Some of the kids seem indifferent.

In general I don’t suppose they would much care whether their parents are in an open relationship or not. I mean FFS its not like any normal adult explains the details of their sex lives to their kids married, single, open or not.

In our circle theres been a couple of divorces and from what I can tell at least one or two of the kids would much rather their  parents were together so that they can carry on being a family. Some of the kids seem indifferent.

In general I don’t suppose they would much care whether their parents are in an open relationship or not. I mean FFS its not like any normal adult explains the details of their sex lives to their kids married, single, open or not.

And if there’s one thing that I find wierder than an open marriage - its just how outraged some people are by the idea. I mean, its 2019.

 

Did I hit a couple nerves there?

My comment was to deride the “unable to resist temptation” nonsense btw. 

But if the (Durex) hat fits...

I'm not remotely "outraged"

all I said was in almost all cases one person is actually having an affair and the other one is putting up with it. 
 

tuglite if that's how you want to live. Sounds horrid but you do you 

Lot of tension on this thread.

Let it all out folks.

" "

Tbf, on review, there wasn’t that much outrage. Just Thuggy accusing everyone of being psychopaths, which I thought unfair.

Tho I disagree about people not wanting to leave because of kids. Of course you are right - they could leave. Its a free country. But I can understand people feeling strongly that is not necessarily the right thing to do for anyone involved. And even if its money, well money is important so that too is a legitimate reason to stay together. All depends on the people and what they want.

Thuggy I sadly have no willpower when it comes to most things.  Few years back I got together with someone I’d been in love for years and was really happy until I got really drunk and woke up with someone else one Sunday morning.  No recollection at all of the point where I decided shagging someone else was clearly a good idea.

Yeah. Do you think that’d wash if you woke up with £5 million out of the client account in your offshore bank account?

 

I went out with other lady for a while until I realised she was a functional alcoholic.

That requires too much planning to do impulsively Thuggy.  However, bought two chocolate puddings earlier to have one tonight and one later in the week but they’ve both gone already.

@Linda that can happen but then it's not really open relationship though, it is one person forcing his/her will on the other. If unacceptable the other person should change that arrangement instead of putting up with it. 

 

Around that same time, I met another couple (dutch husband, english wife). Husband had a huge thing for femdom and the knowledge that he married up. He wanted her to subjugate and humiliate him. He even went as far as asking her to sleep with other men (something about other men wanting his wife was a turn on). Initially she obliged and enjoyed the attention but after a couple of meets she realised sleeping with others was not her thing. So, she moved on to online flirting through various social media. This satisfied her need to feel wanted and admired and at the same time fulfilled her husband's kink. I recall her telling me, as she laughed, this is not the marriage she had in mind growing up but she made it work .... in her own way. 

Side piece? My brother in law has a side piece. One summer, he came to stay for a week or so. The first day I heard him swear when in our bathroom. When I went in after there were three 9mm rounds stood on the wall. Which he had forgotten to take out of his pocket before leaving home (he did not carry his weapon as a matter or course, although at one point apparently, it was a disciplinary offence not to carry the personal weapon whenever leaving home. Off duty or not.)

I think roffers have done sterling work here to ensure Womble and Hoolie are not the most dysfunctional people on the thread.  Particularly you sailo, you can take a victory lap of the coffee table.  You odd odd man.

I simply do not get, what is the bloody pint? Just separate

The bloody pint used to be sambucca and a baileys top with something red poured in and stirred  to cuddle.  Brain haemorrhage was the less offensive of its common names

I think when people say they stay together “for the kids” it’s as much because they like the kids too and don’t want to risk no or part custody.

Wang I'm just a simple loner who struggles with constant human contact although I'm getting better as it's a while since I've ended up totally overwhelmed and seriously considering just giving it all up and becoming a hermit in a forest.

I want to be in one of those relationships that I read about where two women are happy to be with me at the same time and we all have threesomes constantly.....that's the dream

I think your left and right hands are likely to be as good as it gets based on your posts, Tigerlilly. Still, punt yourself raw.

mate there isn't enough lube in the world for that to be manageable, gonna have to source me some foreigners with visa requirements and get this dream on the road

I reckon you'll be just fine with some of your Mum's Oil of Ulay and a pair of tweezers.

oh I see, you're offended because I mentioned foreigners, I forgot you and tricky woos web of racism, this is probably a better conversation for someone with an open mind

I'm not remotely offended, don't read most of your posts and hadn't seen you mention foreigners, m9. Unsurprising though.

I said foreigners in a post you replied to like 8 minutes ago

Lol. This thread is quite funny.

friends have advised me don’t bother with this if kids are involved. It’s too modern.

Unless she’s amazing. 

‘She’s nice and attractive but not really amazing I just haven’t had sex in a while’

’dont do this’

I’m shocked I tells ya. Shocked. How is a catch like you not plowing at least a dozen furrows a week?

If you want a real answer - probably because I work as a software engineer in a very male dominated industry in a fairly rural area.

If you’d prefer to just call me a muppet again or take the piss then go ahead you’ve hardly covered yourself in glory on this thread

Are women like banned from your rural area? 

btw, what brings you to a lawyer board? 

Bindair just back from a black ops mission, so allowances must be made

Still no under age girls on this thread Trollstein. Best fuck back off to 4 chan. 

Many friends from undergrad are lawyers and I thought about the IP bar at one point.

i just went to the bar anyway and ordered an IP...A