one of my local councillors
Wang's Upon a Time 05 Jul 19 09:11
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asked on Fbook who they should vote for in the Tory leadership race.

I referred them to South Park, Season 8, episode 8...

This is like when people just write "Leviticus 14:8"

You gotta explain for the normals!

hmm 14:8 seems to be a mix between quarantine and calling for full body waxing.  which is very 2019


for whom did you vote, clubbers?

if I had a vote not sure which way I'd vote

they are both wankers and totally untrustworthy

JC will definitely be hopeless

there is a slight chance bozza will pull off something and in any event it is good for him to have to try to clear up the shitfest for which he bears so much responsibility

I'd probably vote bozza

I debated spoiling my voting paper for quite a while but went with hunt in the end. just couldn't vote for bozza. though I suspect that will be the result and if as you say he does pull something off then well done him etc etc (frankly I suspect he'll go for an election before 31 October and ask for a no deal mandate)


faute de mieux


“The person to be cleansed must wash their clothes, shave off all their hair and bathe with water; then they will be ceremonially clean. After this they may come into the camp, but they must stay outside their tent for seven days."

Sounds preferable to voting for either of the current tory options TBH. 

I think if he does that there will be actual and literal civil war

I would completely sabre a no deal person and burn their crops for good measure

Hunt just utterly fucked himself as a future leader with his fox hunting gaff, what a stupid cunt, did he not see what it did to May? 

frankly I suspect he'll go for an election before 31 October and ask for a no deal mandate

I just don't think that's viable. There is probably 25, 30% tops of the population who thinks no deal is a good idea. That's not enough for a majority. I struggle to see how they could get a majority, even in coalition with the brexit party and the northern irish nutters. 

Heff you're not accounting for the knee jerk Tory voters who will vote Tory early and often regardless of leader, policies or imminent certain ruin. 

the tory vote in the Europeans must be their absolute core - they'd vote for the party.  and I suspect most of the Brexit party vote would vote for bozza.




A landslide would be ideal to put us all out of our misery at that juncture 

5 glorious years of tory rule lead by bozza would lead us to the sunny uplands whilst at the same time generally making everybody smile 

Tbh clubbers it isn't fucking funny. I get people like you will be fine regardless and you don't give a shit. But it isn't remotely funny 

If Boris runs an election he won't get a majority (either in parliamentary or a rural terms). All the psychos will vote for him but there are more non psychos.

Neither of them will call a GE. 

Unless they are as stupid as May. 



I am wondering now if clubbers is motivated by wanting northern Ireland to become another country.

Why do only good leaders get assassinated eh? It's never the arseholes. 

Gaddafi doesn't count.

I'd consider holding my nose and voting Conservative if Boris was elected, but frankly he'd have to prove himself properly committed to a "No Deal" Brexit. Otherwise, Nigel's lot get my vote.

"I get people like you will be fine regardless"

What, hairy people?

Rich people 

the body hair may help when we have no heating I suppose 

I just voted for hunt.

However it’s a bit of a shit choice.  Kind of like being asked to vote on which STD you would like.

I would have voted for Boris.  He's the only one who could style his way through asking for an extension and holding a third referendum.

no he COULDN'T

why do people buy his "brazening it out" mystique????

he was such a shit foreign minister MI6 stopped telling him stuff

As in, he's probably a more practiced and accomplished brazen liar than Hunt who, while in normal times would be a contender for the "Lifetime Venal Liar Khunt" award for services to making the country worse at the annual Tory black tie do, is merely an amateur compared to Boris.  If there's one person in the whole khunt party who will not have to think for a second about rowing back on his "we leave by the 31st come what may" bullshit it's Boris.

If I could bring myself to pretend to be the type of bellend motivated by a mixture of greed and jingoism to be a member of the Conservative and Unionist Party, I'd vote for BJ on the simple basis that having that cross between a head injury and an un-made bed (h/t Frankie Boyle) as PM would be the quickest way to break-up the dis-United Kingdom and drown the Little Englanders in their own hubristic froth.

Watching his incompetence have an actual impact on those who put us in this mess would be the height of hilarity if it weren't so serious.

That's BJ the Foreign Secretary the PM wanted excluded from intelligence briefings essential to do his job because he is so untrustworthy. She probably thought the information would end up in the London edition of the People's Daily (aka the Telegraph).

Was Jeremy Hunt's software written by the same people behind the Maybot? "My. wife. is. Chinese. Sorry. Japanese.". Most of the blue rinse and red trouser brigade voting probably didn't see that as a gaffe- they're all the same over there aren't they? 

so you're looking forward to the next prime minister then?

In a strange way, yes I am.

You better hope the CTA applies to the entirety of a re-unified Ireland or else you might need a visa for those trips to Lisburn.