Norming Storming and Performing

Anyone who uses this phrase except when giving an example of the world's twottiest management jargon should be locked in a box with a porcupine and dropped to the bottom of the sea.

If you don't know what it means then trust me never change jobs.

When I was at the LBS in the early 2000s this model (I think it is the Tuckman model?) was a thing. Since then silence. Then earlier in the year I heard someone use the terminology and it made me irrationally angry.  It's the management model equivalent of the monochrome blackberry in the age of the iphone x.

Forming - you create a team 

storming - you all argue about how to be a team

norming - you continue to fail to achieve a consensus on anything except about that khunt from audit

performing - you agree that the khunt from audit should do the work

 

I thought it would have meant that you spent 24 hours achieving total air superiority, then three weeks continuous carpet bombing the opposition with b52s then about 3 days of essentially driving towards the enemy capital, trying to not run into surrendering troops because they would slow you down then after you were about 80miles outside of their capital city, you stop.  Declare victory.  And wait about 9 years for the son of your current leader to take charge and go back in and finish the job off, having done all of the previous steps all over again.

Btw, I learned this as forming, storming, performing, mourning.

The 4th phase is when a team has reached the end of its life and what you can do to prevent that. Such as:

CONTINUOUS IMPROVEMENT

*retches into bucket*