Model Making Magazines

You know the ones where each issue comes with another bit of the model to build....

Seems they are a total rip off.  Saw an ad for one where you ultimately build a model of the Bismarck and as it sounded interesting I looked a bit further into it.  Seems that you need 140 weekly issues to complete the model so it will take almost three years and after the first couple of introductory issues it's a subscription of £8.99 a week so just over £1,200 for your model and the instructions on how to build it.

Yes I'd never actually bothered looking into them before and had rather assumed that it was a subscription for a few months rather than years.

I'm sure I must be able to buy the model kit elsewhere online for a fraction of the price.

What is that, Saillaw?

It's a model icebreaker, sir.

It's a bit big for a model, isn't it?

It's a full-scale model, sir.

It's not a model if it's full-scale, Saillaw, it's an icebreaker.

Yes, it's good, isn't it, sir? It's got three engines, an enormous...

No no no, that's not the point. That is not a model. It'll be hell if this comes out at speech day exhibition. You're a very stupid boy building icebreakers like this, Saillaw.

Yes, sir.

Now I won't say anything to the headmaster if you can get it down to a minimum of four foot.

But sir! There's fifteen hundred tons of steel in this...

Do you want to come and see the headmaster with me?

No, sir.

Well, melt it down at once.

Stix this was a full scale model of the Bismarck complete with working gun turrets so I think squarely aimed at late teenagers and adults.

Did once find a model aircraft carried on Amazon and may need to add that to my pond naval fleet.

Sorry I mean a 1:2500 scale model as clearly the parts for a full scale version would require a number of trucks and I'd also need a dry dock to build it in.

Indeed military history geeks who are also interested in all things nautical.

It would also take the best part of three years to build a full scale model....


"Working gun turrets" though. Talk us through that.

Sailo those plates on the back of Sunday supplements are quite pricey too. 

??? well they are gun turrets that swivel about which is good enough for a model.

Sailo you should get on the blower to Gavin Williamson. He could send a DeAgostini-designed flotilla to the South China Sea (better make sure they have the planes first though). 

The airfix version can fire .352 depleted uranium rounds at a dartboard

Was a similar issue for the Millennium Falcon model.  Usually DeAgostini.  Unbelievable really.  But there you go - a fool and his money are soon parted, innit?

I saw that Bismark magazine thing on the TV as well. Smiled. It took me back at least 40 years. A subscription scam which I didn't think existed anymore.

Can't find a bloody picture of the Elvis Tutankhamun Dambusters Clock that will fit the screen...

No, I was replying to you, BC.  Managed to find one on Amazon and have bought one for MJJ.  She will no doubt treasure it.

Buzz don’t know if you’re on twitter but viz last week tweeted an actual Life of Christ in Cats advert (this one the nativity) that was 100% genuine in its sincerity. 

Anyone seen the reports this morning about the comic that has got into trouble for running a story line with Jesus as a superhero side kick?  I thought it sounded quite funny but the blasphemy mob but are up in arms.

Heh - good work, Badders - IMHO it's the apogee of Viz's work in this area. She's a very lucky girl.

tl;dr obvs

and sails you’re the gift that keeps on giving

Personally, I think that Viz's best one-off strip was "Jump-jet Fanny and her Hawker-Siddley twat".  But I can't find a tea towel with that on.  Oh well.

A m6 of mine worked on Harriers. I found a fairly high quality jpeg of that strip, printed it and framed it for him.

Wink Brown, optician, in this month’s, is pyss funny. 

Update:  I have now had the Jump Jet Fanny strip made into a tea towel.  Should arrive within the next week.


I'm going to get so many brownie points for all this.

My m8 dave's dad (assume it waznt his mam but let's not rule it out) had stuck a giant poster on the back of the downstairs bog door.

It was the Ministry of Bottom inspectors in the style of Lord Kitchener withe tag line NOW WIPE YOUR BUM.

i have searched several times for this to no avail.


Buzz, do your stuff

Heh.  I will have a rummage.

Good call on the tea towel.  The bottom inspectors would be a good call for a tea towel. Especially if you hang it on a tea towel holder

I'd get a JJF&HH-STw@ tea towel myself but I still haven't bought the Joy Division over gloves I promised myself and probably ought to stick to one item of kitchen tat at a time.

I was watching Horrible Histories with the nippers the other day (just to keep them company like, it's not like it's my fave tv show) and discovered the yanks distributed bog paper over europe in ww2 with hitlers face on each sheet.


That's a nice unexpected half ton on a totally niche subject.

Our doggy day care lady gave us some Donald Trump bog roll. I've been saving it for Saturday mornings post Friday night Chicken Jaal Maal.  

I have have some Donald Trump bog roll.  It genuinely make me smile applying his face to my nipsy.