minor celebrities who wind you up

Nigel Slater...increasingly smug and snooty, an epicurean 3 ducks.

Anyone else?

 

 

 

Ducks thrilled you consider me a minor celebrity and profoundly regretful I have struck a nerve. Don't worry I don't think you look like you sleep in a dumpster. Anyone else grind your gears?

Slater creeps me out. I expect him to break one day and slather himself with custard, stuff a jam roly-poly up his bum and cry ‘do it to me, Nanny, I’m a bad, bad boy’.  He takes Nigella’s sexy and takes it next door to the sad man’s sex dungeon where it is told off by Delia the Teacher who swishes a thorny rose stem over his manhood for cheap coins while that Fat Duck Heston sprays liquid nitrogen over him films the detumescence and reports the results of the project to Marco Pierre-White and John Burton Race who sell the videos through a specialist Albanian company. 

I used to get annoyed at Jamie O and Hugh FW at their preachiness re sugar taxes.

Then someone made the point that the campaign against sugar taxes was basically them and a few nutritionists and charities largely working on tiny budgets, compared to the hundreds of millions of pounds that the food and drink industry spends every year on advertising and lobbying to promote unhealthy products.

So I stopped getting annoyed

Slater has made perfectly respectable pudding into deviant filth though 

it’s the pauses and slow application of cream then the groaning

If that really annoys you, may I suggest never watching anything by a certain Nigella Lawson

 

I won’t hear a word against Hugh F-S. He is a food and farming God. I have met him a few times on visits to RCHQ and he is a sound man. His mum was cool too. 

That wide-headed, Geordie lad who does the home programmes where he always smugly announces: ...and Sarah and Bruno have taken MY advice and installed a fitted kitchen in their new home...

 

I like Nigel Slater, but that's based on reading him rather than watching him. He's definitely completely cloistered and neurotic but he writes very well.

Rick Stein I find absolutely unwatchable. 

The 'zzette has "the list" of TV people who wind her up.

Rick Stein

Elizabeth Rizzini

Louise Minchin

That Welsh bird of The One Show

The ginger farmer bloke on Countryfile

and many, many, more.

Buzz - yes, Slater's writing is good. there is some openness about what drives his perspective on food. These days we would call it a mental wellbeing strategy relating to loneliness and anxiety in childhood, about which he has written a lot.   But his spoken style makes me think there are probably nasties on those creepy fingertips 

controversial, but comedian Rosie Jones. Yes great we are getting people with disabilities on screen but I am not sure anything I have heard fall out of her mouth has actually been funny and it feels like positive discrimination or tick boxing when she is on screen. 

Rick Stein is a good shout. Why does he immediately go "Ah delicious! a nanosecond after he's shoved something into his gob? He hasn't even chewed before offering a definitive opinion.

As we've gone breakfast telly I will add Carole Kirkwood to the mix.

What I love about Rick Stein is that he has no shame with aerial shots of his sweeping up the drive of his huge French holiday house in his Porsche.  Nothing like rubbing it in with the viewers that their book buying has funded all of this and please buy my new book so I can get a place in Italy too.

Definitely James Martin , he’s a stroppy and precious so and so . I remember one xmas he put together a 3 bird roast thing. On completion he smugly looks at the camera and says” you try doing that at home , I don’t think so!”

No one mentioned Gordon Ramsay , he’s right up there .

The ginger farmer bloke on Countryfile 

How could I forget? FVVKING "FARMER" ADAM who is always smugly going on about his farm and yet never seems to actually be there. My in laws and I bonded over a shared dislike of him.

Agree on the Welsh one show bird. Plus the brunette sports presenter on Breakfast.

3-ducks09 Jun 21 14:17

Reply | 

Report

Adam Henson has done a huge amount to protect rare breeds, as well as to educate people about agriculture. 

 

agreed.  Plus he is quite open about the fact that he has a farm manager and a portfolio career so can't farm all day. He is as active in the classroom and in the farming industry and government as he is on Countryfile so I'd give him a break. 

Bill Oddie is not in fact a human.  He's a curmudgeonly badger who is annoyed to have been forced to perform on TV by Graeme Garden and the late, great Tim Brooke-Taylor, the latter having found the badger in his garden and taken it in, then calling Graeme for advice as he was medically qualified. Garden said keep it warm so they put it in a parka which he never took off.  His appearances on Springwatch were part of the process of preparing him for release back to nature. 

Oh, Springwatch.  One vote for that utter cock Chris Packham with his buttoned up special needs polo-shirt and stupid hat and anorak. fook him.

She talks to people of my daughter's age (young adults) and feels less stuffy than most of the factual presenters they see on telly.  She's the closest thing they get to a Vlogger on mainstream telly doing non trivial stuff, and they just don't relate to the Radio 4 / Panorama bores so they have few channels of information of a documentary nature. She is owning that vacuum. 

Well whilst this has become mostly about chefs, Heston Blumenthal.  Ridiculous spectacles, ridiculous punchable face, ridiculous smug expression, ridiculous food. 

Ooh look at me, I made smoke come off an egg, I've f*cking re-defined food again, oooh I'm a speccy-eyed nerd wizard.

Oh just piss off Heston.

Seconded on Tim Peake, seems to think he's Neil Armstrong.

Virtually anyone classified as an 'influencer' for me.  Especially Jeremy Fragrance, although I can't bring myself to un-follow.

Bollix Dux and Mutters. The bloke never talks about "our" farm, it's always "my" farm.  Even the most curmudgeonly farmers use language that more openly acknowledges the communal effort. and he's as much galavanting around the country doing other sh1t as he is having the odd story on his farm.

He only has his platform because of his father.

I don't know anyone of real farming stock that doesn't think he's a w**ker.