Met the girl this weekend that I think I'm going to marry.

Super smart, gorgeous, high-flying career (not in something dull like law or banking either), lovely posh accent, genuinely funny.

The date even went quite well.

Now I just need advice on how to pretend to be someone else for the rest of my life?

Thoughts?

My thought is that you should wait till she agrees on a second date with you first before planning your wedding.

Suggest watching the following films:

Nutty Professor

Roxane (steve martin film - alternatively the Gerard Depardieu vwrsion of Cyrano)

Life of an expert Swordsman

 

 

She sounds great. Why on earth would she marry you tho?

Out of your league 

She might amuse herself for a while with you

But eventually dump you from a great height 

With maximum prejudice 

heh LA, why don't you drop the word "marrying" and watch her from behind in a cloud of dust, running like the Road Runner: "meep meep"

does she know you voted Brexit and that you pay money to listen to JRM? I would perhaps mention that prior to proposing, but you ought to prepare for the result described above

Christ on a bike must everyone on here always take what I say so literally? This is not my first rodeo and ofc I’m not going to fucking mention marriage irl. It is just nice, after so long accepting the fact that I am a hollow husk of a human who is dead behind the eyes, that actually I can meet a lovely girl (who yes - may very well be out of my league) have a lovely date with her and come away with some hope that I might still be able to, you know, lead a normal life.  

She sounds nice. Take her on a second date somewhere dead posh and that

She sounds nice. Take her on a second date somewhere dead posh and that

'The date even went quite well'  

Not very well?  just 'quite'

Roofies. Lots of roofies.

 

(For you. Take a shitload 2 hours  before any date. Best for all concerned.)

Fake it until you make it - fake what? That you are not who you are? If she is smart she will see who you are quickly. If she isn’t that’s different

M6 if shes right for you but that means changing a little, the change will come easily. Go for it.

 

Ignore the bitter haters up there whose own personal lives are so unfulfilled they have to spew bile on here to compensate.

Heh 

 

i tell my children "they're just jealous". But they're 8 and 12. 

It went well alright, there was lots of snogging and we made plans to meet again. I don't want to f*ck it up. That is the total extent of it.

 

???  -I think you are right on that.Thanks.

You know when people say "just be yourself".  Well simply don't, and you'll be fine.

My sincere advice LA is that one should play it cool in proportion to how nice a girl is and in proportion to how much one desires her.  So with this girl you need to play it mega cool.  Do show her a good time in every possible way and make sure she enjoys her time with you.  But don't fawn over her, don't compliment her too much and don't buy her presents.  Though flowers and chocolates when you next see her after standing her up (which you should do now and again) are fine.  Do not take her anywhere posh (remeber the old adage: treat a whore like a princess and a princess like a whore).  And obviously don't tell her how much you desire her.  When she threatens to dump you if you don't marry her, at that point you may say something like "I do like you quite a lot so let's give it a try".

Say "I like you a lot", Dumb & Dumber style.  Then lick her face.

 

Image result for dumb & dumber i like you a lot gif

You forgot to advise him to repeatedly neg her, forget about dates a couple of times, don’t answer the phone right away, hint about someone else he is seeing.

All sure fire ways to keep her m7.  Nothing will go wrong.

Ignore the bitter haters up there whose own personal lives are so unfulfilled they have to spew bile on here to compensate.

Heh! I am 100% certain that my personal life is a lot more fulfilled than LA's. (Not that that's saying much.)