Meghan's 'The Bench'

Do you think it contains a nice inclusive chapter when the service-man dad returns home after scaring a bunch of natives in his Apache attack 'copter?

Or maybe that warm scene when dad dresses up in full Nazi regalia...?

Which seriously weird folks would possibly consider adding this to their literary collection?

I have read a lot of disparaging comments about this book today. And I have seen a sample page. And it looks like a pile of self indulgent earnest bollocks. 

It's actually The Bench by "Meghan, Duchess of Sussex".

If she’d written it under a pseudonym and it became a best-seller, I might, possibly might, be impressed.

Who does she think she is, Fergie?

dusty - are you pissed about the disparaging comments or the self indulgent bollocks in the book?

Playftse, Meghan THE Duchess of Sussex. Being royal was such a burden tho, yeah? 

Coffers, the self indulgent bollocks. I think she’s been treated appallingly but i also think she’s a twat who somehow feels qualified to talk utter bullshit to us commonfolk. Californian actress tho....

Ah, a literary masterpiece by the woman who doesn’t want to do anything that being Royal entails, but is absolutely 100% prepared to profit from her title...

No double standards here, at all. Move along.

it’s a kids’ book guys

get over it.

the obsession with this woman seems to be lunacy (altho we know what it really is for some of u)

i haven’t a clue wot that means but a quick google suggests ur outing ur other rof handle m7

Quite a few claim it's one thing when it's quite another. Lot of grift going on the Firm. 

i get that’s wot ur trying to say, but u could just say that. wot u wrote doesn’t make sense. makes u sound like one of those alt right reddit loons. r u one of them?

and let’s face it, given the not-very-varied posting histories of marshall hall, playftse, elfffi and indeed several of ur rof handles, the presumption is inevitably against that possibility when from them

I understand that it's as well The "duch" has such good relations with Ian Mill QC, since her book contains more than a passing similarity or three to an earlier work "the boy on the bench" but obviously I will not be reading hers so cannot comment on whether that's accurate. (also unknown: whether the Palace comms team helped iwth themes on this piece of fiction?)

Apparently there is no real similarity to that other book except the fact that a bench is involved.

I also can't see any hypocrisy about writing a children's book about fatherhood.

The only thing to criticise here is the truly abominable poetry it's written in.

And here in the window

I'll have tears of great joy

Looking out at my love

And our beautiful boy

Spurius has it. It's utter gash.

I hope it increases sales of the lovely Corinne Averiss book though, which is one of my fav books to read with Don jr. Now THAT is a lovely book (and bar the title, seems to bear no similarity to the horror poetry above). 

Well, at least it scans, eh.

Averiss has come out calling off the hounds, and said the two books are not the same or similar thematically.  This is great publicity for her book too, so everyone's a winner hopefully.

lol @ that interlocking rhyme

i think it’s actually worse poetry than when i wrote on rof only in couplets while pretending to be the actual oracle of delphi

The purpose of the exercise was likely never the book, but rather allowing her to describe herself henceforth as an "author" or "children's author".  Nothing Meghan does in the public sphere is genuine, it's about branding.

The best children's book about an object in the garden is the Green Ship.

Meg's basic version (cba to make it rhyme):

There were some trees in the garden

In the shape of a green ship

My husband died and it overgrew

And now it is very sad

Nothing but disdain for celebrities who write children's books (honourable exception for ones who are unexpected excellent, like David Walliams). 

Especially if they have previously preached to the public about privilege.  Must be very galling for talented non-celebrity authors.

I think Walliams actually writes them himself, doesn't he? Assume most of the rest (fearne cotton etc) are ghosted adn it's a brand extension exercise.

Price cut by £3 a month before launch ...

Surely this is simply a knee jerk, rushed, trivial response to Kate’s considered, protracted, thoughtful effort on Hold Still (#2  Best Seller on Amazon U.K.).

Hold Still

It seems extremely weird to write a book on a relationship with a father when hers is so fractious and his with Charles is too.

I have written what I believe is a really good children’s book and getting it even looked at seems almost impossible without a platform, ie being famous or already being published. Agents won’t take you on unless you’re already published and publishers won’t look without agents etc


I understand it’s all about sales but it’s so demoralising someone knocking up a story however shit and getting it published by random house (who won’t take random submissions will only go through an agent). Not only that but I’m also surprised she’s put Meghan, Duchess of Sussex. It’s like she’s constantly missing why people may be cross with her actions or she literally doesn’t give a shit and is out to make as much wonga as possible . On principle I’m not buying this book. 

On the plus side if she ever divorces Harry and tries to sling mud at his role as father to Archie he can wave this in her face. 





I still can’t believe they didn’t cast an elephant to tell that story she narrated for Disney