Just discovered a 62 yr old guy I quite rated

Is having a baby with his 29 yr old wife

Has put me right off him tbh

Shudder

I judge him because he's the adult.

29 yr olds are like children 

Ming

"29 yr olds are like children"

That's like 12 years younger than me. Get a grip, grandma! 

They are like children and if you are over 38 you are a minger to fail to notice

Would you have preferred it if he had got together with Lyds?

Actually I am not so sure that you 62 really is that ancient in the circs. For example had a legendry swordsman such as Phil the Greek have got together with a twenty nine year old lady some thirty seven years ago then right now he may quite feasibly have been receiving hospital visits from both the child and (teenage?) grandchild from that union!

Sorry what part of this story is meant to be “ming”?

“Man and partner have child”

TBH tho, my own admiration for him would be eroded by two factors:

1. If he’s going to reach down (fnar) a generation, won’t a 29yo still be a bit war-weary? Couldn’t he have found a 21yo?

2. He’s let her wife him with the baby thing. Surely this type of arrangement is meant to be frivolous pump-and-dump?

It’s a tough one. The over 55s have the lion’s share of assets are in good health so could happily look after a family at that age.  The sub-40s have to compete with that. Neither female nor male would find it difficult to be with a partner in the older age bracket. 
 

it might make you shudder but that is where we are heading very quickly.

There’s a good evolutionary reason men retain their reproductive capabilities into elder life and women have a tendency to fancy older men. It encourages provision for children and therefore the survival and furtherance of the species.

In age old hunter-gatherer societies, younger adult men were useless from a reproductive point of view. They hardly ever even got laid unless it was with one another. Their role was to fight and hunt; those that didn’t end up stabbed with a spear or run through with a rhino horn reached elder status and might find a wife. As recently as the 1800s the average marrying age for a man was well in his thirties, and for a woman her early twenties.

More to the point, so long as everyone’s an adult who gives a toss.

It is a bit odd how now it’s apparently weird and gross for older men to go out with younger women. Isn’t this just how people have behaved for, well, ever?

In days of yore, status and power - things that are attractive in a long term mate because they are auspicious in terms of providing for children - were “hard”, derived from wealth and social standing, things that more often than not were held by men in middle age or beyond (though not exclusively, eg a nobleman might inherit his father’s position when still young, if fortune so provided).

In modern times, the type of opportunity available and the stages of life at which it is available have diversified. And the world has become a much less Darwinian and harsh place, in the west at least. It’s in this context that men have started to marry younger, women later, and the average age differential between spouses has thus decreased. Younger men have had more opportunities to acquire wealth and status; women who plan to raise families have had far greater opportunities of their own and have not needed to focus on wealth and status so much when selecting a husband; harems have mostly gone out of fashion; some women have even been tempted by the limited distinctive advantages of a youthful mate, such as visible abs or that he still has his own knee joints.

This is a much better state of affairs than that which prevailed in the “old days” but it does demonstrate that a woman marrying an older man is not some freakish exception to human norms.

They say that statistically the 'half age + 7 years' is a good indication as to whether a relationship has a chance of lasting the course.

This particular one seems to be well outside that range so the omens don't start off too well. 

Clergles is just a little put down because people are happy.

A very good friend of mine married a man in his (early) 60s when she was in her (late) 20s.  They are still very happy together more than 20 years on.

general heh at this thread - there hasn’t been an old geezer banging much younger chick rant thread for a good while. a rof staple. 
the guardian- and other wokeists - did start using the expression “age inappropriate relationship” for a while (where both parties over 20 say) but that seems to have fallen out of wokefashion. 

If by being successful you mean having a decent amount of wodge, then its a very definite no.  If you mean being happy in life, it’s a yes.

Adriana Chechik’a 29

i wood, twice. Woodn’t get her pregnant tho.

Clergles is just a little put down because people are happy.

A very good friend of mine married a man in his (early) 60s when she was in her (late) 20s.  They are still very happy together more than 20 years on.

*Babelfish translation*

A very good friend of mine, with Daddy issues, who doesn't like sex, married a man in his (early 60s) when she was in her late (20s). They are still very happy together more than 20 years on, because they don't have sex anymore. Because he is in his eighties.

it makes no sense, what's he thinking?

when his kid is doing their a-levels, he'll be turning 80!

More than about 12 years gives me the ick, either way. Some delightful examples of casual sexism on this thread though.

I feel sorry for the kiddos of men like this. I am an older mother, but with a fair wind I should at least avoid significant decrepitude until they're adults. 

 

as laz alludes to since we were near chimps men have been driven to want women at peak fertility- major indicators age, breasts, and booty. obv there is much cultural overlay to that but that’s what it boils down to. the ick factor - which is the reaction we all have to a greater or lesser degree - is distaste in the face of our base natures which we seek to deny. 

Not disputing any of that, but hardly relevant to an advanced pluralist democracy where "base nature" denial is pretty much encouraged . Except when there's special pleading to be done that enables men who are well past their prime to get their leg over a younger woman because nature innit.

It's revolting. 

Perhaps "an advanced pluralist democracy" (whatever the fook that means) could encompass the possibility of a woman making her own choices for her own reasons?

are we asked to deny that we would - when hungry- like to devour a sizzling hot juicy plump rump steak Dr Freud?

But the choice itself is unsavoury on both sides really. Men want a hot young woman to fornicate with and women want status and wealth. Surely we've evolved more than that?   

Presumably you'd be fine if your 18 year old daughter got pregnant by a man older than you? 

Who the fook are you people? The only “base nature” involved in a man well past his prime (if that’s what a man of 62 is) getting his leg over a woman or 29 is her consent. Grow up fgs you shrieking twat MontyDon

Might like to bullace.

But would almost certainly be able to resist the urge, despite my (ahem) "base nature". 

It was bullace who used the "base nature" remark Woke. Hence my use of inverted commas.

Thanks for calling me a shrieking twat though. That's lovely.

if you shriek like a twat, I’ll call you a shrieking twat. Shouldn’t you go back to posting as Lovely Old Dear?

if you shriek like a twat, I’ll call you a shrieking twat. Shouldn’t you go back to posting as Lovely Old Dear?

There’s a few years between my husband and I and it’s not been an issue to date. I think I felt in the early years that I’d rather have the good years with him than the years without him. We are happy and the age gap between us hasn’t stopped us being happy / achieved what we’ve wanted from our lives as individuals and as a couple and as a family. 

It's funny how angry men get when it is pointed out that wanting to stick their cock in soneone less than half their age is, irrespective of consent, a bit gross. 

It’s funny how jel women get of the fact that men can still pull in our sixties

*eases self onto Monty’s consulting room couch*
 

I can’t imagine a situation where I’d be happy for my 18yr old daughter to be getting it on with someone my age - but she’s an adult, she’s not my property, she needs to own her own mistakes. In reflecting on it I wonder how different do you think I’d feel if you’d asked me about my 18yr old son getting it on with a woman my age?

I don't find it at all surprising men can pull in their 60s

 

Bizarre assumption women's views on this are predicated in jealousy 

I am completely fine with not being leered over by the kind of men my age who go after 18 year olds. 

Same here, OB. He's slightly younger. I do think there's a difference between a few years and a generation or two. And couples who are also broadly aligned financially/career-wise. That's not what I'm getting at. 

I think your answer is really honest bullace. And your point about a son is fair - fwiw I'd be distinctly un-thrilled if my son did that, but I'd likely reach the same conclusion as you, if a little more grudgingly. I would also question the motives of a sixty year old of either gender who thought this was not ick.

 

 

 

Why do certain Roffers always criticise women for their choice of partners?

It's their choice ffs. Regardless of age (subject to the law FAOD tbf tbf FYI etc).

I’m thinking about the prospect of fooking a 24 year old. Specifically Mandy Muse. It’s far from gross.

Sounds gross but to each there own. 
 

Hopefully he ages well for the kid’s sake. 

Is this Laz trying to prove his virility again, by shouting down women? Can't decide whether he's like a gorilla breaking out of his cage because a woman looked at him or whether this bitching against women like Monty (who are right, and he knows it) is a grown up equivalent of pulling the hair of a girl you fancy in primary school.

Either way, dude, stop. It's gross.

"It's funny how angry men get when it is pointed out that wanting to stick their cock in soneone less than half their age is, irrespective of consent, a bit gross".

Hools, I just can't agree with that generalisation of yours. Is it really so 'gross' if ,say, a good-looking 41 year old male fitness instructor gets it together with a worldly-wise 20 year old female holiday maker, looking for fun and a quick fling while on holiday in Ibiza?  I think not!

Yes, you think that. And that's fine. But I think it's gross 

Yeah two consenting adults doing what they want with their bodies if absolutely none of my business and I certainly don't judge.

Well, we'll respectfully have to disagree on that example then.....

theRealist that 20 is a child, comparatively. We set the age of consent broadly because kids want to fool around with each other and there’s no stopping them. That doesn’t mean that “she consented!” makes every legal situation involving a late teen/young adult completely ethically fine.

That 20 year old is not necessarily a child - in my example, she could, say, be a very sensible, mature (for her age), well travelled, stable uni graduate just looking for a quick holiday fling with a local hunk before getting back to humdrum life in the UK. Don't see what is wrong with that?

Yeah I get that you don’t but it’s still a bit gross IMO. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s always the pathetic creatures who girls never talked to in school that go in for this kind of thing (in law, anyway) that makes my stomach turn a bit. As soon as their power at work/wealth buys them a bit of faux attention from women they get terribly excited. 

I still don't get why you and Hools should get so judgmental in relation to the example that I gave.  Why not just let them both do their own thing as consenting, rational, informed human beings at the time?

What if she was 20 and he was 80?  Is there a line where you think: "ew"?

Maybe there is, but that's not the point I was making. 

What I objected to was the sweeping generalisation that Hools appeared to make about the 'half age' issue. The example that I gave in my view defied what she was saying and that there were more subtle tones to be raised the debate than the 'sledgehammer' approach that she was presenting...

The kid is just part of the deal no? My wife watches a Russian dating show on YouTube and some of the age gaps are just insane. I tend to think a 20 year gap is just about ok if the woman is over 30. One of the wife's friends went out with a 55 year old when she was 29 and that really was weird. His last conversation with his ex wife is believed to consist of "my new girlfriends 29 waaah!" .

Yeah it’s really gross. Reality is that no semi sane woman goes for it either - we’ve all got stories of older leches trying to pull us (lol at the idea it’s jealousy, I don’t think there’s a woman alive whose late teens/early twenties wasn’t marred by gross older men we had to pretend to be nice to) and honestly the girls who do this have serious issues. 
 

but, you know, there are exemptions to every rule and maybe they’re happy blah blah. 

I do wonder if internet dating has made this more commonplace. We know quite a few marrieds with a 20 year gap but the women weren't that young when they met which seems less grim somehow.

“Is this Laz trying to prove his virility again, by shouting down women?”

No woman has been “shouted down” on this thread.

I simply don’t care who other people choose to sleep with.

This seems to me to be a much more sensible approach than going round being “grossed out” by what other humans do.

“What if she was 20 and he was 80?  Is there a line where you think: "ew"?”

Not really tbh provided they’re both adults. WHO. CARES. WHAT OTHER. PEOPLE. DO?

Situation in OP is not that far away from a 56 year old man having a child with a 32 year old woman.  Surprised nobody has commented on that situation given its prominence.  

Does it make a difference to the analysis that the 56 year old man has already fathered many children with other women?

There is a very intolerant and puritanical wind blowing at present.

Those strange roffers on here that think that 20 is too young for the age of consent should go the full distance and move out to Salem.

most if not all of the things I believe other people should be censured for are covered by the criminal law, which tbh in many cases I think does beyond its due brief

claiming to be “grossed out” by people of different ages having relationships - I just do not have the time for this stuff

my policy is to take as little notice as possible of what other humans do

Marshall Paedall ReplyReport

There is a very intolerant and puritanical wind blowing at present.

Those strange roffers on here that think that 20 is too young for the age of consent should go the full distance and move out to Salem.

ah. we have a nonce on rof who h7s the age of consent limit.
wot a nice addition to the collection of alt right nutjobs

Some people have always been a bit 'grossed out' by big age gaps.  The stereotypes of dirty old men and gold digging floozies run deep and probably have some truth to them in many cases.

Ultimately though provided all parties are over the age of consent, are capable of consenting and do in fact consent then it is really nobody's business but theirs. 

 

sure - dinosaurs of all extremist persuasions

So Oracle, seeing as you think that 20 is too young for the age of consent, what age do you suggest?

25? Maybe 40?

I think you’ve got even more psychiatric issues than hitherto suspected. 

My dad was always what you'd called a 'ladies man'. They loved him and he loved them. His partner at the time he died was exactly half his age and they'd been together since her mid-late 20s. She truly loved him. They had three kids when he shuffled off this mortal coil (it was mad, I told him he wouldn't last to see them grown, but apparently she was still keen for a fourth, sweet fvckin jaysus).

Anyway, she told me once that she didn't notice their age difference, and being the youngest of 8 kids she'd always been surrounded by her decades old siblings, so I guess it was a comforting and familiar dynamic. She wrote me a letter right after he died to tell me how much she loved him (presumably because she knew me to be cynical). Although I'll always keep it I've only ever been able to read it once because it's excruciating to be privy to someone's raw pain and loss like that.

Meanwhile, there's also Kristy Hinze and ol' Jimmy Netscape.

 

Today’s “maternalism” on display here looks a lot like yesterday’s “paternalism”.

Funny, that. 

maybe it would be a good idea for unmarried women - as they are apparently not to be trusted to make their own choices the silly things- to only go out with a male chaperone to ensure that they don’t make liaisons with anyone inappropriate? 

Oracle, if you're going to try to smear someone, the lie has to at least make sense.

difficult if El Chapo wants you as a wife:

“Aged 17, she met Guzmán at a dance. A few months later, she entered a beauty pageant and won. Mexican press reported that Guzmán turned up at the event with hundreds of gunmen in tow, then announced he would marry her. 

They wed on Ms Coronel's 18th birthday. It was Guzmán's third marriage.”

This defensiveness from the board letches is well lolsome

no one is trying to stop consenting adults doing anything. You just look pretty trag 

Shortly after princefaff started in reception, the school informed us of the terribly sad death of the father of one of his class mates. We all assumed that it must have been some tragic disease, but subsequently learned that he had died of old age, in his late 70s.

I never met him, but we now know the mother quite well (she is about my age) and there clearly was genuine love between them. Still, I can't really get my head around the idea of fathering a child at an age where you have little prospect of seeing him get out of primary school (and if you do, it will only be to have him wiping the dribble off your chin).  But I guess she very much wanted to have a (his) child and they were both happy with the knowledge that he wouldn't be alive for much of the kid's life. 

From a previous marriage he left the kid with an older half-brother who is more like an uncle to him.  And he was pretty wealthy so I guess he had the comfort of knowing that his surviving family would be well looked after.

If I ever found I’d stopped “leching” ie fancying women in their twenties, I’d tucking shoot myself immediately 

I never met him, but we now know the mother quite well (she is about my age) and there clearly was genuine love between them.

I think what censorious folks forget is that, while they're entitled to their opinion, people who are happy in their relationships don't care what randos think about them.

 

No one is really asking you to stop "leching", laz -  I think the relentlessly priapic nature of most of your posts makes it clear that for you, "leching" is not a thing you do, it is who you are.  And, it is something that you seem to be enormously proud of, so, erm, congratulations!

What would be marvellous though, is if you could find a way to do your thing either a little less loudly, or in a manner which is less repugnant and nauseating, and which doesn't make the reader feel as if they have just stepped in a mix of dog shit and vomit, and tracked it through their home, and the cloud of grossness is so pervasive, that they actually wonder if somehow, they managed to get it in their hair, so they need to stand under the shower for about a week.

I don’t think anyone is being censorious,  suggesting that women aren’t entitled to select for themselves or suggesting that age gap relationships can’t be genuine. 
 

There’s simply an acknowledgment that for some of us the idea is a bit yuck...and also often these relationships are a product of a woman having daddy issues or a slightly more transactional view of relationships. 

It doesn't matter, they don't care, is my point.

Tools,I very surprised by yourclaim that "no one is trying to stop consenting adults doing anything". 

Just take a look back at your earlier posts on this thread where you appeared to want to prevent any relationship between and persons who had a certain age difference between them!