Important advice for ladies

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D1o61ZuXQAA4M_0?format=jpg&name=900x900

Yes Clergs. You haven't been given a raise because you haven't been washing your minge with "feminine wash" from a cute pink bottle. This is what will make all the difference when you next bring the subject up with your boss.

I wonder if I should tell him I've followed the steps for extra clarity.

Maybe you should buy some of the "cleansing cloths" and casually let him see them when you open your bag.*

"What's that? Oh yes these are just my Summer's Eve wipes! Very important to smell like a summer's eve when coming to work. It's all about the attitude, you know? Proper preparation prevents poor performance!" *tinkly laugh*

(NB - don't say "proper preparation prevents piss poor performance" because swearing is not ladylike and will diminish the salary-boosting effect of your ablutions.)

Just don't forget to sit legs wide apart and occasionally waft your minty-fresh m1nge at him for added emphasis.

Soooo.... what have you done to improve the bottom line?

She has made her bottom line smell fragrant by using feminine wash, Tricky.

That's when you show him your bleached whasswhole ;-) - bring out the big guns, I say!

I find if you cut a hole in a pocket when preparing for a pay review it allows you to tug on the mons rug and create believable tears

Or you have the option of sitting on a b0llock, Wang.   One sadly not available to us laydeez.

Not helpful for the waxing community

Cheers for getting in the spirit of things even so

 

well technically you could but it would be a bit weird having big Jim from the print room with his twig and giggleberries out and shoved under your bum in a pay review

I hate these vag wash thingies. Misogynistic shit. Because your vag does not need it. A vag is not a bad or dirty* thing.

*provided you wash yourself normally** and regularly

**this includes both morning and evening showers/baths

Normal women have fragrant ones in the morning tho faaod

Unless they've been shagging in the night

Just make sure that the feminine wipes are PH neutral.  Otherwise instead of wafting minty minge waves at your boss, you'll be frothing at him like a Brexiteer gammon at the Tory Chief Whip.

You aren't even supposed to use normal soap down there really. Just water is fine. The vagina is self cleaning.

(Unlike hippies' hair.)

Where did you get the advertorial from?

i can’t believe that’s not a parody

Does this mean that when a female member of staff asks for a pay rise I should ask her if she has freshened up or not? 

I'd be interested to know if they have advice for getting a job. I assume a minty-fresh vadge might be less impressive when you're doing a telephone interview...

I don't think you're meant to ask, kaul. I think you're meant to experience her incredible confidence because she'd doing a degrading thing that is totally unnecessary.

Really not wishing to troll, but if this is misogynistic does it mean men invented the idea? Or perpetuate the idea? 

Only ask as it's completely new to me.

Does something have to be invented by men to be misogynistic?

Why is there not rimcheese wash for men?

I'm taking that and running with it, Woo.

That's now (c) Peter Principle 2019

Expect to see it on the shelves by the summer

I wouldn't be surprised if that was a genuine ad - I've seen something similar from the 1940's/50's about keeping quim fragrant to prevent hubby straying - couched much more obliquely of course.

Evil marketeers looking for psychological weak points to needle and pick at over the years to create a market for a non existent need. Soulless, spineless, slime balls. 

every man carries a smeg chisel every day

Why are toilet sprays to mask the smell of poo frequently marketed at women when men's toilets smell far worse?

Isn't she the lass who advertises the Dental Referral Claims in the Law Society Gazette?

Her teeth always look amazing!

where did you get that clergs? it's a gem - remember a healthy breakfast is just as important as a sweet smelling quim. heh!

You can buy smegma cleaner. 

 

Admittedly it's for horses, but you can totally buy it.

I think badders has truly taken rof to its lowest ever ebb with that post

Oh, come, come (no pun intended).  Surely nipplegate was a fairly low watermark?

This is just stuff you need to know if you are of farming stock.

See also buying the wellies with the buckles on the side......

heh what?!?!?!

(including @ strutter being of farming stock)

 

Who said anything about me being of farming stock?

I was talking about badders. Hence my reference to his earlier post.

strutter is from very inbred stock.  count tje fingers

 

1, 2, 3, many

It all seems to be in order so far as I can see.

Is that where the not so fragrant temporary resident of No. 10 has gone wrong?

Should we order some for her?