If you met a celebrity at a deal close meeting, would you act as a boring professional bod in a suit?

Or would you take a risk and be chatty / try to befriend them?  There's a small chance that a famous singer will be at a completion meeting.  I wouldn't be the most senior person there from my side, so imagine if I take option two my boss will think I am being a starstruck tit. 

There's a documentary about to how to act in these situations called "Notting Hill"

I met kris akabusi at a work dinner.  He was ace. 

The few (minor) celebrities I've met at events/holidays I've erred way too far on the side of trying not to annoy them, to the point of ignoring or acting very cold/aloof to them when I'm really just trying to give them space and privacy. Much more than I would be with a non-famous stranger.

I met a famous US lawyer who was on the other side of a mediation I was doing in Washington.  She'd previously been on TV a lot (including in the UK) during US Senate hearings and was in the background of a picture of Kavanaugh.  I mentioned the picture to her in a break and she knew nothing of it (it wasn't carried in the US as much as the UK, and on Twitter, which she didn't use) and she loved it.  

Not sure if this counts as a "celebrity" but it was quite cool.

I’m a big believer in acting exactly as you would with anyone else in the same situation, though I didn’t manage it with my mate’s A lister father 

You should definitely try to befriend them.  

You obvs don't want to say who it it, but give us a clue at least:  for example, describe norks.  

Yes ofc Id be super professional and dull

its who I be

Through a combination of poor pop culture knowledge and dopeyness, I deal with this by not recognising famous people and thus treating them like everyone else.

Except sportspeople. There, I generally embarrass myself hugely by acting like a firework-chihuahua and losing my shit.

Worried it might out me if I say who it is.  But someone with a similar celebrity profile on a par with, say, Eminem.  Different genre of music though.  It's a bloke, so norks are unremarkable.  They are an investor in the company for some reason and seem to have a personal interest in it. 

what, Blake the cod tenors who went to Uni with Kate middleton and tried to build a career on it?! good shout. 

I'm going with Him from Elbow.

Surely your Lemmy story with the boobs is better scapey

There were no boobs with Lemmy! and it was not a deal closing. YOu love to conflate those two stories though so it has almost become true. 

Anyway. The Celeb will let you know how to play it by either completely ignoring you and not removing their mask / gloves, or will be super friendly and ask about your pets and then send you a hand written thank you note & put you on their christmas card list / send a bottle of their tuscan estate's first pressing olive oil. There is no middle ground iwth these people.


now i'm really intrigued.

I'm guessing Lee out of Steps.

Are we allowed to guess the sector of the deal? Is it hospitality, property or A.I / tech?

The Lemmy story is FACT. it doesn't matter if it didn't happen, it totally did.  

I once served a hog roast to Sharon Davies. I was very professional, but did stare at her shoulders. 

John Lesley offa blue peter was also there, but he looked like he was coked off his tits and didn't want any hog roast. I dont know if was just the gak, but he came across like a grade A bellend. 

I walked up to an outside bar once at an overseas golf tourney, and suddenly realised that Sam Torrrance was sitting next me on his own, nursing a Guinness.

Had a very good chat with the fella, he seemed pretty interested in my thoughts for his forthcoming Ryder Cup team announcement...

Just tell them you have admired them for many years and you are absolutely convinced that would be best friends forever.  Ask for their phone number, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter. 

I had been standing next to Chris Gale at a hotel bar in India trying to order a drink with no idea who he was while OH was in the loo, OH came back and stood the other side of me and literally turned into a little excited girl I had never seen him anything like it (so don’t do that). We ended up drinking with him for afew hours.

Think it will be very hard to play anything in between giddy school girl and professional tede.

The company receiving investment is something closer to herbal remedies/nutrition rather than AI/tech.  More Gwyneth Paltrow than Elon Musk!


I had dinner with the bloke who played the British tank commander in band of brothers. Not sure he counts as famous given I can’t remember his name. 

Anyway. The Celeb will let you know how to play it by either completely ignoring you and not removing their mask / gloves, or will be super friendly and ask about your pets and then send you a hand written thank you note & put you on their christmas card list / send a bottle of their tuscan estate's first pressing olive oil. There is no middle ground iwth these people.

Suspect this is on the money

I had a wp meeting with a high profile football manager. He pretty much wanted to punch my face in by the end so I decided against asking for a selfie

I was at some charity clay shoot and Colin Charvis was there. Hard to miss with his afro. Not really starstruck and noted that he cannot shoot for $hit

As I have oft repeated, I met Dame Maggie Smith in Waitrose and she offered to buy me fags.

I met Kylie at a closing.  We were both consummately professional.

Judo, is that cos you looked like a homeless sort in need? 

Or was it “I’ve lost my purse and I’ll die without fags” 

The king of Jordan (then crown prince) and his wife were in the room next to the one in which I was running a signing.  Guns everywhere.

I met George Alagiah years ago and chatted to him for 10 minutes.

I thought we worked on the same building site together and I couldn't understand why he looked a bit bemused.

no, it;s because the cashier refused to sell them to me without ID

I've been in a few 12 step meetings with various famous people who sometimes shared quite surprising things, but apparently one of the rules is that I'm not allowed to talk about it.  I always thought it was a dick move to talk to them, but did hug a famous bohemian comedian/actor once. 

The funniest one was one guy who went on and on at the start asking that everyone strictly respect his privacy because of his public position, and I'm pretty sure no-one had any idea who he was (or cared).

I walked into a room and saw Mrs Principle talking with a group which included Martin Johnson.

I couldn’t join her at that moment but when she came over to me afterwards I asked her if she knew to whom she’d been talking. She had no idea so I told her and she said (looking back at the group which contained one fooking giant): “Really? Which one?”


This reminds me of a time I went to meet my mum and stepfather in the Ritz and was early and found them having a drink with Sir John Harvey Jones. This was the late eighties (lunch is for wimps etc) and I was definitely star struck but managed to stick to complementing him on his tie.

I mentioned this to my boss the next day who then hounded me for the next six months to get him to come to address our next work conference....I dont think he was joking either.

A much better story, overheard at Henley Regatta:

A lady was talking about how she’d been to some rowing drinks do and was chatting to a man who asked her if she rowed and she said oo no I dont row, I scull, far superior, and went on to explain to the man the difference etc etc.

It was Mahe Drysdale.

If the celebrity in question was a real hottie then I'd probably ask her if she'd like me come round and introduce my friends Alan and Orla to her. 

the great thing about this thread is that, apart from Maggie Smith, I have no clue who these alleged celebs are - Mahe Drysdale, Sir John Harvey Jones, colin charvis, chris gale, sam torrance???

(i know who sam torrance is but no idea what he looks like).

(I can one up the Crown Prince of Jordan one; the former CP - who got knocked aside from the succession somehow - is the dad of a friend. One of our uni "chumz" was skiing in the same resort and decided to stop by and try and work the royals a little. CP opened the door to the place himself, at which Uni "chum" thrust her coat at him and marched ahead asking to see daughter, assuming him to be the butler.)

Never met any slebs myself; a couple of retired footballers and a couple of All Blacks is about it. My wife however has. She has taught a few of their kids: the Beckhams, Jude Law etc. It sounds like she took the boring professional approach. 

@ Escaped

Mahe Drysdale is an epic rower. Epic. Twice Olympic champion in the single sculls. Current Olympic champion. And about 5 times World Champion. 

for a while in my articles/first few years qualified I dealt with various then quite famous footballers - Gazza, Shearer etc - and they were invariably complete fvcking twats. 

no, it;s because the cashier refused to sell them to me without ID

briiliant. How old were you at the time? 

Once met Elle McPherson in a meeting.  She seemed nice enough.

On my biggest ever celebrity day I was sat across from Alistair Campbell and entourage on the train, next to Joely Richardson in a cafe then on the same table as Orlando Bloom at dinner.  Ooh I were right excited (I wasn’t).

Heh @Judy

As for Merkz, I would have inserted a clause into all contracts that they must turn out for your 5-aside- team at Goals . Any contracts. Including any conveyances.

That would be ace; teamsheet for tonight:

Smith, Jones. William's, another Smith.another Jones  er one Alan Shearer....

I was at a closing meeting where a well known rock star and charity campainger demanded a blow job from the partner in order to settle a bet on whether the transaction would close or not.

The trainee gave me a quizzical look and I suggested that there was no need to mention it in the minutes.

If ive just outed myself kindly keep it yourself but feel free to say hi.

"Demanded a blowjob?" I always thought it was part of the deal. Standard.t&c's Are you suggesting I have been getting it wrong?

Cockpit I've met one of the Jordanian princes a few times. Really nice guy. Recall having to explain to him at dinner one evening what teabagging meant

I met Sporty Spice in a jacuzzi.  In absolutely phenomenal shape for a woman her age.  Didn’t say anything.