If I was a woman

...I’d just get my eggs frozen and be like ‘fook you biological clock I’m not pandering to your demands’

i met a friend yesterday who was going out with this girl for nearly a year and he was like ‘I was offshore for three months - went to a party with her - and she fooked one of my mates!’

’god people are something awful aren’t they’

What I mean is that people are just fooking unreliable all the time and if I were a woman I wouldn’t want my chance of having. children to be ruined by someone being an idiot.

Luckily I am a man so I can saunter around not having children for quite a while and then just wait till I’m 80, have two children, and then promptly die so I don’t have to bare the responsibility.

Yeah but you can get paid surrogates. I just googled it so am now an expert on this matter.

i would love that as a job - just sit their playing computer games whilst a human develops inside you.

Women definitely have access to all the best jobs eg stripper, surrogate mother, and boxing match sign holding person