I am locked in my own shitter

So I'm working from home and I come for a poo in my office toilet.  Somehow the handle mechanism has broken and the latch won't open on the door.  I am trapped.  I have no phone and Mrs Partridge is out.  The cleaner couldn't hear my cries for help and my mobile is outside.  Thank the lord I brought my laptop for a poo.  Am now emailing my friends and family.

Sweepstake on how quickly I can obtain assistance to break out of my shitter using only emails?

Dude, you must be able to MacGyver your way out of this.

Surely there are some toenail clippers or scissors or something similar that you can use to force the latch / unscrew the door handle?

If you can get the door handle off you should be able to manually move the mechanism.

Not as good as the Chippy one from years ago, who locked himself into his own flat for the weekend.

Kind RoFers assisted by hauling up regular supplies of beer, pizza and cigs by rope to a third floor window.

Assuming a standard handle set up, can you use a coin to disengage the lock?  Alternatively, use the coin to unscrew the handle to gain access to gain access to the square turny bar thingy that straddles the handle pairs.  If you can do that, take the bog roll and put the cardboard holder thing over the square thing and squish it for maximum grippage and turn.  

This assumes you can't just kick the door in like a proper man.

I love this thread

Can you take the mirror off the wall, catch a ray of sunlight to burn a hole in the door large enough to put your hand through and open the door from the outside?

Good one tricky.

Is there a vent grate you could fit through if you used the hand towel to block the bottom of the door and left the sink running so you can float up to get in?

But to haul himself up he’d need to have the kind of upper body strength unobtainable by working as a doc blozza for the last 20 years.

Try to keep the suggestions practical tricky, sheesh.

Hold on we haven't asked the key question - did you check wipery supplies before you commenced dispensement?  It would make escape much harder if you have to do the waddle of shame thru the skylight

log in to skype, or set up an account, and call the fire brigade

and don’t give me that hero shit about they’ve got better things to do. A man locked in his own commode is a bona fire emergency.

Guy Crouchback04 Oct 19 14:04

Reply | Report

(1) office loo (2) cleaner couldn't clear cries for help.

Just how fooking big is your house?

Even at a time of crisis I can brag about my house.  Six bed, 4500 sq ft.

I think I'll have to kick the door in.

I've managed to set up my laptop to send messages but nobody will get here for an hour.  I don't think I can wait that long.

If I can unscrew the screws on the handle with a coin will that make any difference to the latch being struck?  Will I be able to open it with my hands turning the square bolt bit?

No windows in bog.  Second floor, but no means of escape.  I do have a shower in here though, so could have a good wash before the fire brigade arrive.

Seriously you can't call the fire brigade if you could kick down the door could you?  Thing is I'd be kicking INTO the wood frame if you know what I mean.  Kicking down would probably need to be done from the outside.

DOOOOOOOOOOOM

Dude, there will be a thingy in the middle of the handle that has a coin slot to unlock the lock.  If you have to be locked in the bog from the outside, you really should cut down on the London Pride.

God if it is really that bad just kick the door in, just remember to brace yourself against something to avoid comedy bouncing off door and breaking your head open on the sink.

Internal doors can be surprisingly solid.  Ahem.

Teclis04 Oct 19 14:14

Reply | 

Report

Assuming you can gain assistance from a mate via email, how do you propose they navigate their way into the property and past your front door?

It's all open as the cleaner left with me in my office so no need to lock

To be fair the office shitter is the only part of the house we haven't re-done ourselves.  Wasn't our doing so I can't blame myself.  The other 4 bathrooms all have windows if this redeems me?

Erm and your large and no doubt expensive furnished house is now on the Internet with people knowing the front door is open and all they will do is giggle as they go past your office big door carrying your belongings.  Well done genius.

Alan - I'm assuming you mean that when you turn the main door handle the latch is not moving, not that the toilet is locked.

That has been caused by children hanging off the door handle / adults not pulling straight down.  This causes the surrounding bit round the square bolt in the handle to break (the dark grey bit in the picture if it worked).

If you can get the door handle off you can generally either:

1. manage to get the pressure in the right way that you still manage to turn the bolt despite the broken bits; or

2. there is a little sticky out slidey bit on the bottom of the latch underneath the hole (as shown below) which you might be able to poke with something to retract the latch enough to get the door open.a

""" 

Wang's Upon a Time04 Oct 19 14:41

Reply | 

Report

I hope Mrs P comes home soon

hello Mr P, I found out I don't have cancer!

hello dear, I am stuck in the toilet and had a w**k"""

 

had such a lol at this that someone in the office next door came to see if I was ok. 

 

Thanks Arbiter.  I have taken the handle off from the inside but the bit where the square is surrounded by a circle has basically shattered.  The latch thing is in the wood.  When I try to turn the inside of the bit that has shattered the latch won't move.

I am starting to suspect a rather good wind up here.   First,  I find it hard to believe anybody on rof would post a picture of exactly where they live.  Second, and the clincher for me, I find it hard to believe anybody on rof would live near Crewe.

I'm out everyone!  We dismantled the lock but eventually had to take the doors off its hinges.  

SUCH FUN!

It's days like this that make ROF worthwhile.

Rhamnousia06 May 20 12:44

who would have thought, six months later, we would all be locked in the shitter

We're not, we're locked in our houses. Although I can see why, in your case, that might amount to the same thing.

 

Sails we dismantled the lock by getting a screwdriver under the door, managed to release the spring behind the latch, but only took the door off its hinges after the door was opened.

I'm here all week for any subsequent hinge clarifications as necessary.