Having been the victim of domestic abuse

Its nice to see this get the attention it deserves


If anything, i'd say this is more widespread than Man-on-woman domestic abuse, but the otypical difference in physical size means we're just expected to man up (which is what i did)


I know a man who seems to be on the receiving end of considerable mental abuse.  it's so sad.

I've got a mate that stayed with his partner for about 15 years because of his kids. He's like a completely different person now. Not bitter, just making sure every day counts.

did he leave her?


what was the catalyst for him doing so?


the psychological abuse day in day out must be unbearable.

I've known one guy badly physically abused - he got out of there early, luckily.

I've seen a 3 guys psychologically abused although in each case the wife had a psychological disorder as well (all forms of depression, one prone to psychotic episodes).  In 2 cases the blokes walked away after many years of trying to keep it together and in one the guy still is (poor fucker).

Truth of it is I don't know how many female friends are in the same situation; tend to have more open conversations with male friends is the reality of it.  

Happens both ways round but I am almost 100% certain it is more often men on women for all kinds of reasons.

Sorry JC, i realise that was a little vague. yeah, he left her about 5 years ago. There was no real catalyst, just a recognition that his boys were getting older so were less dependent on him. from what he says his relationship with his kids is now a lot better because he's no longer a bag of nervous energy

He always had a great deal of respect for her, which i found odd, but by all accounts she was just permanently abusive. Obviously you never know the whole story, but seeing his transformation and his attitude to life is inspirational

dont look back in anger, and all that

Significant physical abuse is much more likely to be male on female I suspect, just because on average most men are considerably stronger than their female partner

I suspect serious emotional abuse backed by some degree of physical abuse from time to time is at least as likely to be female on male as the other way around.

and I suspect these days men are more likely to remain in a relationship after they have been hit by their partner than women are.

I had one friend who had a lovely girlfriend who not only abused him but also abused several of his friends including me.  She punched me one night and on another occasion had me pinned to a wall by my throat.  Thankfully when we graduated the relationship died out because they lived some way apart.

My gf smashed a bed over my head once

And husband battering is the crime that dare not speak its name 

First wife was an abusive bitch.  Physically abusive.  Never really injured me as such but her rages always left me with bruises and cuts.  I just thought ‘meh, that’s nothing’.

Had another relationship where things got a tad more serious, she attacked me with a kitchen knife.  As I was defending myself we went past a window and she was screaming abuse at me which the neighbours saw and heard and called the police.  Who came around and promptly arrested me.

My entire torso was covered in bruises and cuts, she even managed to graze my side as I twisted to avoid a stab. The police doctor listed it as ‘approximately 47 different bruises and 7 attempted stab wounds’.

No charges were ever brought against her, she suffered two bruises on her wrist caused by me holding the knife away from her.

Bitches b crazy bro.

I think what catty said is likely to be the case.  I know loads of m7s with wives (most of whom have never worked in city type lots of hours jobs) who constantly berate them or post not so very passive aggressive things on facebook etc.

I have only hit a woman once: it was in 2nd year juniors and we were doing the black death.  I was hunched over a textbook and the teacher asked a question.  My spoddy little arm shot up faster than an exocet.  unbeknonwnst to me the teacher had been leaning over me checking my answers and I accidentally smashed my fist right in her schnozz.  Oops.