Gents game theory

I have this every time I need a slash and find myself confronted with a row of options. 

Which receptacle do you choose and why?

Assume for the sake of argument there are 6-8 ceramic fittings from which to make your selection. 

End spots get taken first, then fill up with a gap between you and the next pisser until no more gaps then fill gaps from nearest door towards far wall 

anyone who does not abide by those rules is a wrong un

Issue with choosing the end spot if no one else is present is that previous visitors may have thought and hence done the same, meaning it’s more likely to be soiled or otherwise in rank condition, so you risk wasting energy getting there to find out. Hence game theory. I assume you know what game theory is. 

You lot are fvcking betas.

Swing open the door to the bathroom with full power.  Inducing the betas in the corners to turn and acknlowedge the Alpha arrival

Stride to the middle urinal, regardless of who is next door urinal or where there is more space.

Move to the urinal.  Turn briefly to those standing in occupied urinals, if they make eye contact, hold a hard stare and look them dead in the eye until they avert their gaze - they will, betacucks.

Adopt the power stance, both feet should be encroaching the neighbouring urinal space -irrespective of whether occupied or not. 

Remove your Alpharod. Take aim.

At this point you tilt your head backwards, exhale strongly so all are aware and let rip

When finished, you shake once - hard.  Like Indiana jones with a Bull Whip.

Return the beast to its lair.