First three things you’d do as the new PM




1.  Finish everything Boris promised but didn't deliver 

2.  Fracking

3.  Re-introduce binary identity

1. Make a list of everyone Boris sacked for non sleaze reasons; shortlist for cabinet posts. 

2. Reverse Priti Patel’s work.

3. Go to Brussels

Good point. Can you?

Not sure, anyway, I wouldn't repeal it altogether but I would make it less like word salad and more like workable legislation.

Peerages for all my close friends.

Rip up planning system and start again with the ability to override nimby objections.

Grope some nice young lady from Conservative head office.

1. Machine guns on dover beachs, laser sharks and mines in the Channel.

2. No benefits. 

3. Any protests about 1 and 2 to be met with the army, who will be using live rounds. 

Then maybe cut some taxes and stuff.

Launch criminal investigation encompassing the entire previous administration and every minister who served under it and see it through until every last one of them is doing time.

Introduce proportional representation.


1. remove all of Carrie's guady decor

2. raise the taxes for the rich

3. free school meals available all summer

4. Change uni application to post award

RR, surely if you were PM none of those people would be in the government?

I mean sack in the military sense.

RR, surely if you were PM none of those people would be in the government?

I mean sack in the military sense.

phoebe, on taxing the rich - are you talking about paye donkeys or rich people with more than £xx million in assets?

1. pay freeze for all public sector employees apart from hospital doctors, head teachers and senior nurses.

2. cut corporation tax

3. raise income tax thresholds in line with inflation. 

Re reforming, I am pretty sure there is precedent in the form of the post interregrum.  I think it just read re Cromwell &Co: not what they said.  yours Chuck2

1. Shut down parliament

2. Quadruple the pay or the army and police

3. Kill Madge and declare myself new king of England 


There's been a pay freeze for public sector workers since George Osborne 's first budget

"I say why are public services so shit"

Would you work hard for a literal take home pay cut?

Private sector relies on public sector so you've only fooked yourselves in the long run by supporting it 

Abolish the triple lock

Public sector pay rises to catch up with inflation.

Repeal the TCPA 46.





1. Join the EU

2. Introduce proportional representation

3. Introduce mandatory (max) 35 hour working week - no opt outs for anyone

GeneralLee gets my vote for policy 2 (not so keen on 3) with thanks to Clergs and CW too for realising that we’re not overpaid at the mo. Would be nice if my pay stopped going down for a bit.

  1. Introduce minimum immigration targets
  2. Require full transparency from all government contractors (no 'commercially sensitive' excuses)
  3. Criminalise manipulation of product safety testing
  4. Decriminalise drugs

1. Rejoin the EU

2. Repeal the Hunting Act 2004 and all Tory legislation since 2016

3. Direct military intervention in Ukraine and smoke the Russian forces; assist key people in Russia to do a Valkyrie on Putin

Per Mark E Smith:


1 Halve the price of cigarettes.

2. Double the price of health food.

3. Declare war on France.

NHS: award lifestyle points so that non-smokers etc get treated first.

Education: double teacher pay.

Tax: top rate 35%.

Foreign: trade deals with English-speaking Asian countries.

  1. Sack the entire civil service.


  1. Put Tescos in charge of running everything.


  1. One flat rate of income tax and corporation tax at 10%.


I would also bone Carrie and post it on the line.