Fettes question

If you were buying something to treat yourself with what would you get? 


Not like a major treat like a diamond ring but something you might use daily. Like a posher version of something you might usually scrimp on. 

I always open these threads expecting a query about Edinburgh public schools. Invariably the content is even less interesting than that.

- neoprene camera strap

- a beautiful hoya in a nice  pot

- the complete OED

- a painting by an artist I like

Wait - re sth I'd use every day (though I'd use or enjoy those listed above almost every day): 

- a microplaner stick grater.  I miss mine every time I lose some knuckle skin zesting a lemon and having parmesan.

- A skillet with a detachable handle that I can put in the oven.


I've got a skillet with a wooden handle. Fucking stupid 


a Le Labo candle or body cream (£50ish)

fortnums tea and biscuits

Farmacia santa maria novella scent

lovely stationery 

- a really beautiful journal for listing grudges and all the times you annoy her.  Handy during arguments etc.

Wots wrong with a skillet with a metal handle and using a teatowel?

A Sunday Riley serum

A Diptique rose candle

Urban Decay Naked palette


I’d go to space nk and get a candle or some nice makeup 

Don’t buy make up unless you’re sure she’ll use it...

One of those hourglass ambient palates are a good universal choice 

I also have the urban decay naked palette - excellent choice 


a candle 


boring stuff like that 

Any urban decay palette tbf


Favourite sweet thing


First edition/special edition of a book I love


fancy leather notebook


set of nice fibre tipped pens


some lovely fabric to play with on my sewing machine (I need some new pins too but that isn’t very fancy)

(Fuck candles)





unpractical shoes

silk kimono or pj


A really good moisturiser (I'm assuming you know her well enough to know her skin type) or body lotion, if she uses it

I’m not going to google fuck candle

Can you still get candles cast in the shape of your willy?

this thread reads like it has been written in some archaic dialect 

like, I can understand some of the words but it's all coming out as jibbering


expensive skin care she wouldn’t ordinarily buy herself. 

cool pair of trainers that she might think are too much to buy for herself but she’s been coveting. 

vivienne Westwood pirate boots. 

I’m slightly ashamed I said candle. Can I scrub it please?



They pollute, are completely unnecessary, stink to high heaven (even the scented ones) and are just a way of robbing people. For some reason mostly women. I get a pair of cosy tealights or a candle on the dinner table at xmas but other than that ... I can't wrap my head around them and the people that spend money on them.

Good, young lady. Don't do it again. Spend more on completely unpractical and uncomfortable shoes. 

Have gone for daunt book subscription and a nice journal from liberty 

A really expensive high tech iron and ironing board

Pair of marigolds, diamante encrusted

Swisher wetjet

Pfft, I love a candle.

I also love a pair of VW pirate boots! Such a good call....

That’s a nice gift 

one of my faves from nev was a new Roberts radio 

I really like labour and wait so usually ask for stuff from there and am currently investing in lovely gardening tools - id like a fancy trug at some point or a lovely metal watering can

flowers, scented candle - either from pippettes or another small brand in an amber glass jar - V SPECIFIC LOL, vintage west German planter, fancy chocolate  would all go down well and are usual presents 

I love a scented candle too stardust. Esp those really expensive cire trudon ones

Good gifting Bam

is this for heffalump's wife or for your own after she found out?

And thanks for the suggestions above fettes. Have bookmarked this for future use 

can we go back to the pirate boots?


Is this a fashion or sex-play thing?


Is sexy pirate something new, or is it just something you arrrrgh?

VW does still make them west. I managed to get a pair in beige suede and a pair in black leather from eBay. Both hardly worn and still in original boxes. They cost a fraction of the price and I LOVE them. I have always lusted after them since I was at uni and now they’re mine. 

Yes. Well. I think the less said about those the better Jello. 

Pirate boots are so cool. I did not need to see that link bailey!

Sorry! I wear mine a LOT. My 14 year old step daughter is all about the scathing right now as she’s been brought up in the burbs. I’ve told her, you’ll be begging to borrow them in a few years and the answer will be no!

Do it west. They come up quite often. Check the quality obviously but you can get real treasures. I got my beige suede for £50!! They’d been worn once and still in original box with authenticity tag. 

The black leather similar quality I got for 90. Compared to 400+ 

I know! I can convince beautifully. It’s my special skill!

Bailey, I’m all over an eBay boots purchase. Won a of unworn Manolo Blahnik boots for £180 in March ❤️ 

I got some chloe boots off eBay - was pretty pleased about that 

west, what’s your nonnymail? I’ll email you a photo 

I don’t have one! Do you know the style name so I can google? My chloes are the susannas.

BAM - make sure she gives Daunt good instructions. THey've sent me some duff choices this year after a good year last year (the first 4 were all premised upon a death. I emailed saying "please no more death, something uplifting in these pandemic times". The next two were pretty much chick lit. In fact I'm going to mail now and ask if I can return this one)

If you want to buy a lady some books why not try Persephone Books? 

Clerks must surely have these:

- seditionaries boots - for the antiestablishmentarianism

- world’s end - for the pathos

- tartan - for the tribe

Seditionaries boot


gosh, those VW pirate boots are really not to my taste

I think I prefer the fancy dress boots in the pic further up 

Like Dux, I too am struggling to link this thread to Tony Blair's alma mater!