About once every two months I get a voicemail. It is a woman with a very flat and uninterested voice reading, slowly, a script. Politely and entirely uninterestingly, along these lines:
Good afternoon Mr [ ].
My name is [ ] and I am calling you from a legal search company called [ ] on behalf of my director, Mr [ ] [ ]. We are acting for a number of major organisations in relation to a range of opportunities which may fit your needs or ambitions very well indeed. If you wish to discuss these with us as buyer or candidate, please do not hesitate to contact us on [ ]
it is the broadest brush, the widest net and the most unchoked scattergun of all time.
It is so boringly delivered that this poor uninspired soul seems to be boring herself. There is no content. There is no decision as to whether I am target for sales or target for hire. There is no apparent awareness of what I do, the firm I work for or anything. Just a wide ranging claim of relevance by someone slowly leafing through Legal 500 and doing the numbers game.
How on earth can this make money ? Does someone listen to this and think "Oh my God. Of course! That's where I was going wrong. I should call them immediately as I have always wanted to work for / hire from "an organisation which may fit my ambitions or needs very well indeed!"?
I can imagine behind this poor soul there is some pushy bastard just shouting "Shut up and make the calls, Irene. I don't pay you to be clever or make suggestions as to how we could do better. Just do the calls. Sheryl is up to the 4000 mark this morning so you've got some catching up to do. " Grim beyond grim.