En Suite etiquette

When you get up in the night for a wee (and only an ABSOLUTE MONSTER poos during the hours of darkness) - do you flush the loo or leave it until morning, lid down (so that the noise doesn't disturb your partner).

I flush during the night but absolutely no way would I do a poo in the en suite with OH in the bedroom. There is a loo on each of the 3 floors of our house and ideally, I will go 2 floors above or below him if I can 

obvs he doesn't know I poo at all 

:-/ @ you lot 

my house is probably the size of the cupboard some of you keep your watch collection in

by virtue of being tall and thin it does have a loo on each floor tho 

When I need to go during the night I go in the ensuite which isn't even attached to our bedroom in order not to wake my other half up. Not a fan of letting it mellow.

LP how's it an en suite if it's not connected to the room?  Are you turning into an estate agent just blending together random phrases without worrying about what they mean?

I have 3 floors and 3 bogs but 2 bogs on second floor. One on the ground, none on the top floor. Is that higher or lower in the order of things compared to Linda, three floor three bogs.

This thread has forced me to post for the first time - I need answers to this question too but in a different context. My OH gets up at 6am, showers in the en-suite and generally bangs around making a load of noise listening to sport podcasts. I don’t need to get up until 7.30. He also does this if he gets in from work after I have gone to bed though without the shower. He point blank refuses to use our second bathroom. I think it is coming from a place of spite at my shorter working hours. I cant understand his irrational attachment to the en-suite at the detriment of my sleeping pattern. This has been going on for 3 years  - any suggestions ? 

To be honest I feel like divorce could be for the best. We recently lost our cleaner and he offered me £15 per hour to clean “his” en-suite which was kind of insulting. I also enjoyed his use of possession in relation to the en-suite when I contribute 50% to the mortgage. When we met he was just a pretty face with a student overdraft but generally a nice person, now he has an older face with a bit more money but can be quite a knob. 

I think I would really hearing about your car crash relationship more myusername. He sounds like a cock.

I make full use of the en-suite whenever I please.

More intriguingly my house has a shared en-suite for the second and third bedrooms. It causes much awkwardness if we ever have w full house. 

I think, my username, you do need to have a frank and calm convo. Or set your alarm for 5am and run his last hour of sleep each day for a bit of perspective. 

Well to be honest it is one of those very slow motion car crashes rather than a short sharp one as it is 10 plus years in the making, though the en suite issue only has occurred since we moved into the new house. Had I have known it was going to cause such an issue I probably would have thought harder about buying the new place and intertwining myself to him further financially. We have put the place up for sale but I feel like people can pick up on all the arguments we’ve had over the en-suite so we’ve had no offers, but I think that’s my best escape route.  I forgot to add that the £15 per hour I was going to be paid was going to come out of the joint account. Think that is probably an important detail.  If the people in the second and third bedroom end up walking into the en-suite at the same time how do you decide who gets to use it? 

Always flush. We're not animals.

Full disclosure I'm a light sleeper so use silicone earplugs and white noise machine (but there's a lot of street noise where we live too).

Thankfully I have not yet been asked to arbitrate in any dispute over usage of the ‘Jack and Jill’ bathroom.

We also have the main bathroom next door to the 3rd bedroom so I suspect in practice that the inhabitants of that bedroom tend to avoid conflict and use that bathroom. 

Actually hang on there is a problem with your suggestion summersails, he might not use the shower but then as the stand in cleaner I will have to clean up my own shit from the shower  - but I will get paid £15 (although as it’s from the joint account really only £7.50) I’m not sure it’s worth it?

Our new house we move into next week is like Linda's 3 floors with 4 bathrooms; I've commandeered the large family bathroom near my new office. Giving my spouse the en-suite to the master bedroom. We will be fine.

On this posters dilemma, honestly if you can have a conversation about the problem and say that you would like him to stop, and he doesnt want to change his pattern at all despite it being easily fixed, then you need some counselling and potentially a new partner.

It's not about the bathroom, its about being a considerate, caring person to your spouse.

What kind of monsters get up in the middle of the night to do enormous poos? You all disgust me  

otoh, whichever poster is deliberately going to a different loo - why??! Surely your other half isn’t so delicate as to worry about a wee?!

our en suite has a sort of walk through cupboard type thing so 2 doors and some space between the bedroom and the bathroom. Just a bit of extra buffer zone. 

1. the op confirms only a monster shites by night

2. It's not about fear/worry of being seen as having bodily functions, it's the noise of waking someone with a 4am flush. 

It’s not a fancy dressing room it’s a sort of corridor with cupboards on either side. A buffer zone gauntlet style thing. 
 

I don’t flush in the night. Mind you I don’t really get up to wee in the night - is this a middle aged roffer thing? 

otoh, whichever poster is deliberately going to a different loo - why??! Surely your other half isn’t so delicate as to worry about a wee?!

It's not that, it's the noise of flushing and running water that wakes him up.

Toronto I've never slept through the night without at least once waking up and then I tend to go for a wee because once I'm awake I'm conscious of the need to go.

This thread reminds of my second year flat at uni where I had the room next to the bathroom and flatmates who tended to leave the door open if they were just having a whizz.  After a few months I could identify each of them just from the sounds.

As my group of uni friends hit 40 recently, this topic came up and the nurse among us pointed out that around now prostates get bigger in men and the pelvic floor muscles or something get weaker/drop in women, which means that bladder urgency in the night can and does wake people up.

Maybe the lovely TC just hasn't hit our advanced age yet :(

I always pee right before bed, and never get up to go in the night unless I've been very stupid with my fluid intake (or been drinking pints all night which yeah)

 

is this a middle aged roffer thing

For me it's probably a pregnant thing, but I also have a bad habit of not drinking enough water during the day and then in the evening I remember and overcompensate.