Do you prefer one kid over another?

As a non parent always been curious about this.   Kids always sense it and parents always deny it…

Not permanently but for periods of weeks or months you can't avoid preferring one or the other. 

what DD said. There are also certain qualities in one that I prefer over the same qualities in another, but it also goes the other way. 

Pretty sure my older brother was (and remains) my mum's favourite. 

lol - I mean one may show more aptitude to doing well at school, but another has better sense of humour.

see the Crown episode re "Elizabeth is my pride but Margaret is my joy". 

it’s fair to say my elder daughter’s personality is more like mine

she’s inscrutable, thoughtful, intellectual in approach, keeps her cards close to her chest, goes through any gap, prefers to speak last. The skills that have made her father an invisibly effective transactional lawyer. She probably lets her personality out on some internet forum for five year olds. 

My younger is expressive, forceful, emotive, proactive, demanding. Knows and speaks (shouts) her own mind, She gets what she wants but can be a right PITA in doing so, She’s also more of an athlete than her sister, something she gets from the maternal line (my wife’s sister was a GB schools athlete). Expresses herself physically.

My brother was always the favourite, though I don't blame my parents - he's very likeable.  I like him too.

As for my own children, I don't fancy either of them much at the moment.  I'm hoping that will improve as they mature into adults.

The problem for children is that they both accurately detect parents favourites / favouritism and on a subconscious level they know that behind the scenes it is all to do with how their parents relate to each other and how much their parents like or dislike each other.

I never thought I'd give parental advice on the internet, but dude, you are not supposed to fancy your children.

”As for my own children, I don't fancy either of them much at the moment.  I'm hoping that will improve as they mature into adults”.


All my kids are ace and very different from one another. I can’t say I prefer one over the others.

lol at lawperson aka Nick Cannon.


Usually whoever is the most obedient is the favourite.  My brother says yes to whatever my parents tell him, often submissive, without questioning even the most illogical/absurd thing.

I don't do that.

My son was a little b*stard for about 5 years, and my daughter was a dream from birth (and remains so).  As a result I definitely preferred my daughter.  As my son has grown up he has matured very quickly and I've got a lot of respect for how he's done that and how he's changed, while my daughter has remained level and calm and lovely.  I now don't have a favourite, but I did for a while.

One is more immediately likeable and easy going, but then the other has some strength of character the other doesn’t; I definitely love them both equally.

I once had a nightmare that they were dangling off a cliff on a breaking branch and I could reach down and only grab one of them, meaning the other would plunge to her death knowing that I’d chosen the other.  God that makes me feel sick even typing it.

Never had a favourite. Love them both equally. don’t think I ever could feel differently about them. My love for them is the same. 

I think my parents lived me and my sibs equally. At least my mum did. 

One of mine is bouncy and uncoordinated, so you often get a clonked nose or an elbow in the stomach when she's around. I feel sad for her that she sees me bracing myself when she approaches, whereas her sister gets an unforced smile

I'm one of three. 

  • Middle brother is clearly mum's favourite.
  • I'm apparently Dad's favourite, though I've never really sensed it. 
  • Poor little brother brings this up fairly constantly.

In terms of my own kids:

At the moment (16 and 13), no, love them equally. 

When they were younger, I went easier on the girl. i think this was mainly because the boy is very, very like me, and at the time I was miserable in my job and having some self-loathing/ low self esteem issues.

Don’t feel the overwhelming emotion with my second than I did with my first. Love them both but it’s definitely a different experience.

Also tbh, playing with girls is far more tedious than with boys. No I don’t want to do arts and crafts or check out your dolls, where’s the football?

I don’t have a favourite but for a while the kids did and they sort of set a pattern.

nob is much more challenging but with the challenge comes the reward. He’s inquisitive and demanding and incredibly athletic so needs to be handled much like a dog - exercised for hours daily. He’s also incredibly sweet and tender with babies and little kids - esp his sister which is incredibly endearing. He’s mellowed massively so at 6 is easier and more fun than he was at 3 when he literally was teaching himself to scale the walls to the ceiling and our house was his gymnasium (still is to some degree) but he’s far more able to self regulate. 

nobette is cuddly and far more able to play by herself so is happier in her own company (her brother is pure extrovert and chatterbox). She’s lively and spirited but just more able to potter. Which in itself makes it far easier to just hang out as we can both get along with things - vital as we spend so much time together and I’ve got housework to do. She’s quietly just getting on with it - turned round a couple of weeks ago and said mum I can write my name and did it whereas nob needs supervision and encouragement at all times. She will outperform him at school I’m sure and this may be a challenge. 

my favourite things about them is what makes their character, it’s also often what I find the most challenging to manage - the energy and the passivity, I’d like to give the other a little more of what is their main characteristic - calm him, make her more challenging. 

it goes without saying I absolutely adore and endure them both esp the morning snuggles before the day starts and noise begins. 

the days are long and the years are short is incredibly true ❤️🥰



My son gives beautiful long koala hugs and squeals when he's happy. My daughter stamps her feet and cries "NEVER" when asked to do anything. 

I like him more but I admire her more. I love them both so much it hurts. Sometimes when I go into their room to check on them before I go to bed, I nearly cry. HTH. 


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