Like, everyone is having a great laugh until some comment suddenly lays bare the fact that you could almost be their mum/dad/gender non specific but equally valid caregiver?
I blame other people in their thirties and forties for cocooning. Which I also do actually. So what.
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I avoid this scenario. Always.
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Not really. If anyone says 'you are old enough to be my dad' I would respond 'fck off you tedious khunt' and report them for ageism.
Also, I don't work with prvcks (or if I do, they avoid me) so quite enjoy a few Nelsons with the juniors. Always nice to see a new perspective on life, love and the world.
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No.
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What does cocooning mean?
I am increasingly concerned that if I were to have a work affair, it could now be of the “disgraced former solicitor” variety.
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*bablefish*
I have become a borderline sociopath and have no empathy any more. In my more rational moments I realise they are probably feeling weird/awkward but fvck it, I am enjoying myself and I am their boss so they have to live with it.
*bablefish*
Just kidding m7 (or takes one to know one anyway...)
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By bablefish was for Davos (for the avoidance of doubt).
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Cocooning is where you retreat from Public Life and just hang out with close family and friends, leaving the outside world to the younguns.
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to be fair Rham is exactly what I have done - co workers are a bit tedious and the commute is a chore.
i work out, chill with the missus, old uni mates, old work mates and thats it - why would i go to a an awkward drinks with a bunch of people i barely know where i have to be on my best behaviour?
I sometimes go for a drink with my boss or my bosses boss for career development purposes but even then there is a point to the conversation so its less awkward.
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I guess I think that retiring from casual socialisation means we cease to influence the ebb and flow
Fundamentally, though, no one wants to hear a twenty something drunkenly slur "actually I think guys/women in their forties can be really ATTRACTIVE" in a patronising cadence
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Also, don't you find there's a sort of expectation you will socialise?
Remember when university lecturers used to take favoured students out to the pub? Those guys must have had their cringe surgically removed.
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No
Why would I
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Cos it's weeeeird laz
Theyre all looking at our wrinkly vizzogs thinking (wrongly) that they'll grow up to be so much cooler than us and never make the mistakes we made.
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And for any 25 yr olds reading - IT'LL COME FOR YOU TOO
*witch cackle witch cackle *
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the answer in my case, as with almost any of this shite, is: drop me a line if ur nearby and let’s meet up
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If you are proposing a mafia for the over 35s I am in
Our code word should be a witch cackle
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Rhamnousia25 May 22 19:40
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I guess I think that retiring from casual socialisation means we cease to influence the ebb and flow
yes, big danger. Cease to influence = cease to be relevant or have any moral authority, in the eyes of a certain age group. But you do have authority, both moral and actual if you are a senior leader. So you have to achieve some connection or you rely on ‘but I am your boss’ which is the last stand in Stalingrad. No coming back from that. It’s over, just a matter of time. So get in, stay in, then fookety bye, but no half in half out nonsense.
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Tbf most work drinks don't end with anyone talking about how attractive their colleagues are. And it's quite rare to get battered.
Just a couple of cold Nelsons to get some fresh perspectives in a relaxed environment.
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nobody cares rhammo m88
just chill
anyway if you fancy an age appriate night out, just message me fgs and let’s get absolutely get about it
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Clergy’s, you won’t remember this but in your full raging pomp you used to tell me to ‘fook off old man, you’ve had your time and ruined ours’.
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Clergy’s, you won’t remember this but in your full raging pomp you used to tell me to ‘fook off old man, you’ve had your time and ruined ours’.
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Sorry about (a) the double post and (b) the y
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I thought you were older than you are tbf muttley.
You're probably about five years older than me 🤣
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Are we talking actual, emotional or dog years?
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I remember being a trainee and thinking it was cool that some of the older lawyers came out for 1 or 2 drinks on a Friday after work. Any of them that stayed for more than 3 drinks seemed weird, as we always thought (always of the male ones who stayed) "why don't you have a wife/girlfriend/family/real friends to go and see?"
Now many, many years into the 'older lawyer' category, I still remember that, and never overstay my welcome. If you don't buy drinks for the juniors, it also marks you out as weird, and conspicuously underachieving.
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You cant say cocoon these days.
it’s ‘metamorphosing construct’
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You cant say cocoon these days.
it’s ‘metamorphosing construct’
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Oh f this train RoFing
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Spot on Terry.
rock up early enough that the complaining fringe is not yet in its cups (‘I’m gonna give some feedback to management’/ ‘and another thing), buy rounds, drink two, leave. 1 hour. It’s work.
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What Terry describes sounds a bit like officers being invited to the Sergeants Mess.
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fook this let’s all the rof old khunts meet up n partay udigg
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Heh
Was thinking about rof drinks yesterday as I trotted along the strand
Am sure it can still be a thing of beauty
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In terms of influencing as well - i have reports, i maintain the rapport with bantz during work and being shit hot at my job and giving them support/air cover when they need it. They dont need my life story or a personal connection to develop a mutual respect or vice versa, so long as we kick ass and take names together the job is what matters.
Let the work do the talking, not whinging down the pub. I have had far more frank conversations with colleagues totally sobre in the warm glow of having just done something awesome that only we few could deliver or starting in the cold dark of a fook up and figuring out how to get a fix done than i have at any half hearted and crap "work drinks".
If drink i want to get plastered, dance and let loose. I am not doing that in front of people i work with.
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Another thing I hate - how a woman of say 40 can be seen as the exact same age peer as aan of say 50-odd.
Why is this! 40 is much younger than 50 odd! It counts as a younger woman.
fooking Weinsteinised view of the world.
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depends on how good your make-up is/botox is etc. and what shape you are in i suppose.
Look at the now and then pics of the cast of top gun for an example - i dont get how tom cruise does not age - does he drink the blood of children at the scientology temple?
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I would take this FAOD
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I have quite a few times done sports or gone drinking or for a meal with younger colleagues and I don’t really care.
The only thing that has come up recently is my boss asking me if anyone disgraced themselves and one time someone insisted on buying shots and then threw up after it was them who insisted on it. He then ran off down the street which we all just thought was funny and then it was like:
’someone go and get him’. And there’s a bit of ribbing but also ‘we’ve all been there meht. No one cares’. It’s just banter and everyone asks because it’s funny not because they want to discipline them.
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I also feel a sort of responsibility towards them
yknow, if a youngster gets too drunk and then falls in a ditch on the way home and then I was the cow who didn't do anything about it
basically, things were less awkward when the pubs were forcibly closed
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What billybob said. Just be a good boss, no need for forced socialising.
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How do you people get away without having to do away days and all that jazz?
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Simple, just work in an industry in secular decline and there's no budget for it.
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Heh
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What BigBob says. There are occasions where it’s fine but if you feel you would rather be somewhere else that’s fine too. I have just been benched for a dinner event for some super hot 25 year old. I am withdrawing gracefully and would be up for over 35 drunks.
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I used to hate being a trainee because the hot ones would get to do everything and I didn't WANT to do those things but it was a bit if a relentless ego punch to see the rationale so clearly
Ok will consider the mafia idea further. Since it's a mafia we don't need to worry about the equality act I don't suppose.
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I enjoy socialising with different generations. that said, my workplace isn't particularly social
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No, but I do feel odd socialising with staff who are a lot more junior than me now
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This is just another reason why clergs loved lockdown so much
Anyone who thinks having a Nelson with a colleague isn't enjoyable probably has Terrible colleagues or is terrible themselves.
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The stay for a couple of drinks and buy the rounds is great advice. I always really enjoy the post seminar drinks and no-one even notices or cares about age.
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I don’t particularly enjoy socializing in large groups anyway anymore but if it’s just once every couple of months then I don’t mind and find it’s more fun than I think it will be
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I think if you can still be hip with the kids - as I still am - everything just works out groovy
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We can't all be cool cats like u tho, sorry
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I thought “cocooning” was basically the point.
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heh
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I prefer cocooning I just hate being old and potential for new adventures being something a thing of the past
Which is absurd because reading books and eating ole and Steen cakes and chilling with my sweetie (yeah I said it) are pretty much the best activities I can imagine so why rock the boat.
Also though as muttley says above I don't think you can easily opt out completely.
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Is clergham as socially awkward in real life as she seems on here? Can anyone confirm?
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No, she's still in lockdown
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I actually had a Mr Simon, a Mr Garfunkel and a Mrs Robinson on a call. All under 30.
Made the obvious comment. Several tumbleweeds ambled across the call. A complete ‘You what m8?’ moment. I have never felt so old.
In fairness, it was a Boomer cultural reference and not something from my generation, which probably made it worse.
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