Delivery h8

Rage wid meh.

1) Ordered new gaming headset from amazon, woke up at 7am which I had forgotten was a time until recently, purely to make sure the fucker didn’t miss me.  At 12:30 I investigate the front door and there’s a note saying he left it st the bar next door due to no answer!?

So I had to trek next door and sheepishly request my delivery.  But why tho????

2) Ordered some random flowers for my mum, you know just because.  Phone call saying she wasn’t in when they called.  I checked, she has been in all day.  WHY????

The lazy feckers don't bother to knock. Just dump the kit somewhere and drop a pre-written note through the door. It's the modern way. If I ran Amazon, I'd introduce proper uniforms and a bit of old-world courtesy.

Ordered new gaming headset

Imagine being a grown man and typing this.

Stix - maybe so but my mum ffs? She’s done nothing wrong.

Dux once again harking back to when he dispatched Clemens / Grumio to pick up his deliveries

Oh hai wellers! Welcome to 2019 where adults play “computer” “games”.

The only acceptable computer game to play is International Cricket Captain 

So many elements of this that require immediate resolution through fire but I will pick two

Ordered new gaming headset. The fuck?

there's a bar next door

-  The people in the bar are horrified by you as their customers in the beer garden have to listen to the special needs sexathons. The Amazon delivery left it there so you had to confront your shame.  

 

 

 

Wellers, I've got ICC 2016.

When you've got a mo, let me know and we can get an internet match going. I'll play as Ireland obvs.

What are the correct flowers for thanking someone who has had you sectioned?  Asking for a friend like.  I am thinking lillies...

by mo do you mean "Month" which was about how long the average test match took on that game

 

NHang on look a second.  My mum never had me sectioned.

Ive been sectioned twice, it’s not as easy thing to accomplish and in both cases it was done by the police.

My mum asked the LA to find a way to secure me from wasting whatever small amount of money I have.  She had my best interests at heart but neither she nor the LA understand about wherein my (meagre by Rof standards) wealth resides.

I got her this but pink instead of peach.  Not a big deal difference IMO.

https://www.interflora.co.uk/product/peachy-perfect-vase/?;category_id=4&cid=ppc%7Csen:Google%7Cscr:NonBrand%7Cmed:Shopping%7Ccam:Shopping%7Cseg:A73161MS&fo_c=2075&fo_k=8da69c74ba26c6f1fd36516ef1cd7533&fo_s=gplauk&&gclid=Cj0KCQjwz8bsBRC6ARIsAEyNnvo1jw1xxAdOJ9neSh5SqJhMwtQMZYu5nwlsc_B7qftba04Vycnmj34aAm4BEALw_wcB

I don't know what is the most tragic thing here: feeling hate and rage by having to go next door to pick up a parcel; an adult playing computer programmes; or posting online about it

great stuff guys

Yeah because no adults ever play computer games.

You fucking nutter, you realise that most of the best games have an 18+ certificate?

in GTAV (this will annoy the coven no end) you can not only pick up a hooker, you can have sex with her in your car from different angles, and then when you have paid her and she leaves your car you can run her over to kill her and take your money back.

Or you can just get get out of the car and shoot her if you prefer to avoid the blood stains on the car obvs.

Abs this is all well known, publicly available information.  I’m just educating.

Tecco when was the last time you re-patioed Tecco towers?

This game, btw, is the best selling entertainment product of all time - vastly surpassing any tv or film or whatever.  It sold over 90million copies and generated roughly 6billion USD. 

So im not talking about some niche dark section of the internet here.

There is no patio in the towers, I am actually prohibited from putting it down - planning law rather than anything else.  I do have a couple of wood decking superstructures though. xx

That's just psycho.

Football Manager and Daley Thompson on my ZX Spectrum were great.  

Having virtual sex with hookers and killing them, not so much.

Back on topic the issue is that they have so many parcels to deliver in a day that they don't have time to risk knocking on the door and finding you're a lonely old person who wants to talk for hours and invite them in for a cup of tea.  Much more efficient to dump the parcel and run.

Tecco when was the last time you re-patioed Tecco towers?

MASSIVE LOL!! 

Actually I should probably go visit the towers this week and make sure all is ok.  It’s been ages and I’ve promised an imaginary friend he can have his imaginary engagement party there on Friday.  Oops. 

"She had my best interests at heart but neither she nor the LA understand about wherein my (meagre by Rof standards) wealth resides."

if the court of protection is genuinely involved they will make it their business to find out.  It's nothing to do with the local authority 

 

Yeah well good luck with that.  Anyway I have appeals although those are being stalled by various masters having to refuse themselves.

But I’ll get there, I’ve got my evidence to say that while I have mental health issues and would be considered to be by many an eccentric there is no evidence of my having made major decisions which were contrary to my best interests.

Tec don't you have a huge property portfolio, I think you said near on 20  properties...

"in GTAV (this will annoy the coven no end) you can not only pick up a hooker, you can have sex with her in your car from different angles,"

 

do you have an imaginary protractor too? "Right, get on your knees. I see you prefer the acute rather than the obtuse. How very equilateral of you.  Mmm check out my hypotenuse. Did you know the square of my length equals the sum of the squares of the lengths of the other two sides? You're about to find out. Let me show you, and I want you to moan while I measure"...

 

 

13 well 14 I suppose.  But mortgages everywhere. I’ll be seriously wealthy if I manage to make it through the next 15 years or so.

 "while I have mental health issues" uh-huh

"and would be considered to be by many an eccentric" in the community of those who have difficulties with words like "offender"

"There is no evidence of my having made major decisions which were contrary to my best interests".  Hmm. gotta stop you there .

Image result for red button gif

"when was the last time you re-patioed Tecco towers?"

Are you offering your hosing services? That never ends well.

Heh @ the idea you are so well connected the judiciary can't hear your case

masters don't sit in the court of protection. 

"in GTAV (this will annoy the coven no end) you can not only pick up a hooker, you can have sex with her in your car from different angles,"

actually you can't, it's a computer game

 

Linda, I’m not particularly well connected but I did work in a department which is adjacent to ... oh ffs who cares.  Whatevs dude. 

Ask one of the coven as to which areas of the GLS I worked in and you’ll get your answer.

 

I think Anna and maybe stix have me on LinkedIn, it’s there for the world to see. 

I deleted you on LinkedIn years ago, when I first realised you are completely deranged and thoroughly unpleasant. No idea what you did before getting yourself fired.

I didn’t get fired, people who get fired don’t get garden leave. 

Hth hth

unless you get fired, then cause an almighty catastrophic litigation meltdown threat around being someone they should owe an enhanced duty of care to, have a WP discussion and agree an orderly exit by way of compromise.

Fella, how are your imaginary Cornish Pirates rugby mates these days?

You know, the ones you have manly drinks with in Kernow, whilst they are actually away playing a game in Bedford?

Oh hello mr faux spreadsheet! 

Its the off season isn’t it?

so was tecco some sort of pe type or did he work for the GLS? 

i’m on the edge of my fvcking seat here ...

"

Stixta01 Oct 19 12:54

Maybe God knows you’re an arsehole?"

Have the occupants of the squat now fallen out? 

Tecco was SAS, when he wasn't bossing a private equity firm, or running the nation's gas supply. He had to give up a pro rugby career for all of that, obvs.

Interestingly, the GTA games have generated in total around $9b.  The Pokémon games have generated around $17b. The entire pokemon franchise (toys, film, games, cards etc) has generated around $95b, and is the most successful entertainment franchise of all time. Even more so than Star Wars, Harry Potter and Mickey Mouse.

Second place I hear you ask - Hello Kitty (approx. $80b)

Thanks Brexit :(

Possibly a small humblebrag Dux, but I have it on good authority that at least three of them are, yes. As is, interestingly enough, John Matrix from Commando. Mark Lester is an old friend and IKF pupil. The story is loosely based on my life.