Dating someone less attractive than yourself

Have you done this? Has it worked for you? I assume more ‘fettes may have done this than ‘fers.

In recent months I have been experimenting with departing from my ususal ‘type’ – dating women who are interesting because of what they do for a living or what they’ve achieved rather than how they look. I know how forward thinking and selfless of me - right? *pats self on back*

Currently I am dating someone who has held very senior posts working for the government, has an MBE, has lived all over the world, is extremely financially secure is very interesting and has basically already accomplished more than I ever will. Things are going well but I can’t shake the feeling that… well she’s just not fit enough.

What do you think m7s? Has this got a future?

You've always dated people who are less of a HMONG.

Aw youre her twinky

dw she'll get bored before you do  


Not to worry she’ll leave you in due course so you can date someone fitter (briefly)

LA you can probably treat her badly because of the attractiveness differential. 

Try sleeping with her friends to test the water.

You need someone like that Stacey Kiebler lady.  Fitter than you (in both ways) and will kick your arse if you step out of line.  I reckon she could snap your twig like a ... well ... twig.

I have this problem all the time

Goes with the territory 

If the girl does measure up attractive wise, I get a lot of flak from other males, jealous at the golden couple 

Latest was some barman in Knightsbridge- "you slummin?"

On the other hand we have recently been sent a free bottle of champagne by another punter in a Chelsea restaurant 

I see you are defining 'attractive' by reference to aesthetics... very quaint. You must be bored out of your skull.

I have literally never had this problem, and I thank the lord for the sympathetic part of female brains which has allowed this to be the case.

Yeah, never been a problem for me. Munting as hard as I do (and always have TBH) the only explanations are either a sense of hypnotic fascination or pity 


You should see the hunk who has the hots for me atm  wink

Where on earth does the OP hope to meet such an unfortunate being?

Um, that crusty sock isn't a person, mate, even if you do stick googly eyes on it and give it a pretend CV. 

Hoh hum how chortlesome Lady P.

You just don't like the reality that as a male in my late 30s with precious little more than a mid-level finance job and all my own hair and teeth I am actually considered a catch. That is the reality though.

Th girl I dated before this was a tv journalist.

Even with a personality like mine - the cards are stacked in my favour.



You just don't like the reality that as a male in my late 30s with precious little more than a mid-level finance job and all my own hair and teeth I am actually considered a catch. 

You misspelled "cock".

PS - an attractive, intelligent woman with a career of her own really doesn't need to settle for someone whose selling points are "just about under 40", "has finance job" and "has own teeth". 

' the cards are stacked in my favour.'


Are we back to the magician again?

And yet Lady P... and yet - the evidence suggests otherwise.

I am not looking to settle any time soon though. Plenty more gas in the tank.

Funny how none of these women who think you’re such a catch stick around for very long.

So what mate I’m 43, got my hair still and I can have good looking twens. In fact I’m dating one and will marry her

the thing Is i don’t have to go on vicious coke n booze benders all the time as well as overseas holidays 10 times a year in order to distract myself from my loneliness 

it’s a real Smackdown of the Damned, this thread 

What Stix said. 

Women aren't even settling for you, LA. 

LA what age woman would you say is ‘best’ for a hypothetical man in his early 40s? Assume above average charm and looks.

So in conclusion - you don't think this has a future and I should probably just stick with nice to look at but not much going on upstairs eastern europeans? (until we send them all home after Brexit ofc)

Could have just said that.

Do they last long after they find out about your Restraining Order?

Tbh most women I date do tend to bugger off of their own accord after I tell them enough true stories about me.

The odd thing about this one is that I've told her well over 70% of my stories that do not necessarily paint me in the best light and she still seems keen.

Heh! Or a private investigator for one of the others

But how can you stay with these girls who you think are hot but don’t have much going on upstairs?!

isn’s at least in parts like how you’d choose a friend - you wouldn’t want to go for a drink with someone you didn’t respect intellectually so how can you enjoy that with a girl even if she is pretty?

ive been told by female friends that girls I’ve been sort of seeing are less attractive than me but I’d prefer that than less intelligent than me tbh. We have to spend more time talking than shagging so I’d prefer to optimise the ‘this person is interesting to talk to’ than the ‘this person is epic to shag’

But how can you stay with these girls who you think are hot but don’t have much going on upstairs?!

  1. He doesn't stay with them, or rather, they don't stay with him.
  2. Any woman with "much going on upstairs" is not going to be dating LA in the first place.
  3. LA doesn't have much going on upstairs either.
  4. See no.1 above. 

Well quite Mugen - hence why I am experimenting with dating girls who are more interesting to talk to than they are nice to look at... but I worry that they more be more difficult to stay faithful to.

That doesn't seem to have been a consideration which has worried you thusfar, LA.  Are you feeling alright?

I am usually faithul tbf - even if simply by virtue of my average relationship not lasting longer than 2-3 months.

Why arent you just aiming for both. Its not a car you are talking about, you don't compromise on a checklist basis. 


You want to find someone you enjoy spending time with and you can have interesting conversations with, and who you find attractive. 


Its really not that complicated?

Well from experience you should probably try someone you think is hot but also think is intellectually deep. That’s happened to me like 4 times in life and it’s lasted two or three years each time and usually the issue was one of us moved countries for career reasons and long term LDRs don’t work unless one person sacrifices career which ambitious people don’t like doing

No-one is less attractive than I am so jokes on... well, me still I guess. 

beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


I constantly think I am punching above my weight when I get to snog malnourished looking gingers, but very few other people think them as hot as I do

Quite often, beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. Thankfully

I want our OP lothario to post his notch count.  Shags only not near misses or near mrs. Baggsie first to call it.

I doubt he can.  Also, are you including those with whom he may have had a financial arrangement?

I realise it might be harder to keep track of pretend conquests esp when mental.

To have any hope of guesstimating I would need to know how old he was when he popped his cherry and how old he is now 

absent precise info on those factors I guess 27

Pretend conquests are a flipping nightmare to keep track of.  Last night, I was just settling down to bed and the phone goes.  Ring ring, it went ring ring.  I picked it up and said “hello?”.  You’ll never guess who it was.

Only bloody Rihanna.

”Tecco”, she crooned softly “Tecco, make love to me tonight”.  Singing, you know, softly like.

”Listen Rihanna” I said, “you can’t just go ringing a bloke up in the middle of the night and demanding sex.  I haven’t even finished my ovaltine”.

Well done Abbs.  It’s one of my favourites called “A spot of the usual trouble”.

After each increasingly unlikely tale of a glamorous film star trying unsuccessfully to mate with either of them, the next line is always “funny you should say that” followed by an even more unlikely tale from the other as they both attempt to outdo each other.

Dud Moore always had trouble trying not to laugh with that line and Pete always tries to make him laugh, which just made it even funnier.

I hit 27 in my mid twenties - I am late 30s now... I don't have a precise figure anymore but reached triple figures some years ago.

How many children do you have LA ?

I was always amused by some playboy called Rubirosa who apparently  was lauded as the greatest lover ever in the 1950s 

Turned out he was sterile 

I don’t want or have any children. This will be a relief to most on here I suspect. 

As I'm an ugly fvcker, it would be very difficult to date someone less attractive than me.

What's with all this 'has all own hair' business? You'll make me paranoid if you're not careful.

rubs head and yet again likens sensation to marigold glove

a perfectly normal human being15 Aug 19 15:10

it’s a real Smackdown of the Damned, this thread 


Best thing you have ever, and I mean, EVER, posted, m7.

Golden thread, people. Keep it up.

That story about "slummin" and free champers clearly never happened, though.

This is something I've never even thought about.  I just date whoever takes my fancy.

"I know how forward thinking and selfless of me - right?"

Easy there tiger. It is called not being a teenager. I know... a shocker. 


Loving stickers and LP's work here. 

LA you never change. I think she will get bored of you. There is a reason that she is very successful, maybe a little past her best and yet has all the finer things in life, including punching above her weight (in your opinion)

Tbh I don’t think LA is lying about over 100. I know a guy who is late 30s and has only been in a one year relationship and a two year relationship in his whole life. He thinks he’s nearing 200 and I completely believe him (I’ve known him for a decade and lived with him for a year). If you go out quite a lot in London or go to lots of house parties and you have pretty low standards/drink too much/both then it’s not that unusual I would think

I don't see the attraction of casual sex any more. I find it boring, to be honest. Men with 100/200 women to their name strike me as terribly sad. You're just using someone's body for a wank, essentially. So pointless. 

I'm only an occasional visitor to this place, so you will forgive me for asking (and apologies in advance, LA, if I have mistaken you for someone else).  Was it LA who, some time ago, posted that he was bored with his hot Eastern European gf and was thinking of reverting to his usual, less complicated love-life template, namely healthy amounts of onanism in between monthly shags with his favourite hooker?

If so, then all those monthly shags since his mid-twenties would easily add up to triple figures.

Good for you, LA.  Don't let these bastards grind you down.

I do find Eastern Europeans boring and vacuous but they are very nice to look at. I went on holiday with a girl 20 years my junior once and I never felt more alone.

I really get on well with this girl I'm dating she is fun and interesting but I don't think she will be enough. I'm realising I am unlikely to get everything I want / need out of one woman... the concept of marriage / monogamy is broken.

The problem is not "the concept of marriage/monogamy". The problem is you.

I really get on well with this girl + I don't think she will be enough

These are mutually exclusive statements...

If LA has enough self awareness to know monogamy / marriage isn't for him, absolutely no one should encourage him to "grow up" and adopt it. 

He will only make someone miserable 

I am not sure they are tbh fluffy. I get on really well with lots of people I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life married to...

Marriage/monogamy is not for everyone.  Weirdly I think in some ways society was more understanding of that 50 years ago than it is today in some ways. Greater perceived bonds with and  responsibilities towards extended family meant people seemed to find ways to keep those who weren't suited to being in a long term romantic relationship involved in family life. 

Modern life does place a huge amount of emphasis on your romantic partner being by far the most important relationship in your life even as that relationship has become more disposable/less permanent. 

I am not sure they are tbh fluffy. I get on really well with lots of people I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life married to...

Agreed Donny, but were you in a sexual relationship with them and hypothesising that they could be the one?