Work in private practice? Take the RollOnFriday Best Law Firms to Work At 2023 survey

Dating - ethical question

Is it unethical to keep souvenirs of your nicer dates (e.g. a coffee mug, beer glass, napkin, underwear)?  Creepy?  Or just a bit weird? 

It is probably all illegal, but who cares about the law... 

If my date stole my underwear, not only would I think he was a pervert, but I would be very annoyed about my nice date underwear going missing. Especially if I now had a nice expensive bra without any knickers to match it.

so it depends on the level of intimacy relating to the item? 

Credit card theft should be punishable by death! 

I always used to offer them my underwear (sometimes at the beginning of the date if I liked the girl)  but no-one wanted them

Anybody who has been in a relationship that there are always multiple transgressions and disappointments on both sides. 

 

@Tuesday, the women which I date have underwear from H&M and Zara :-) 

When I first knew Mr M, after I had stayed over for a night and discarded an empty face cream jar in the bin, I found on a later visit he had fished it out and buried it in a sock drawer. I found this very cute.

Sounds like Bebchuk is a couple of dates short of wearing their skin as a dress.

Whatever floats your boat, I suppose.

Anything with consent is fine 

Underwear without consent is just Tory 

A beer mat or something from a good date is cute 

I found the lady shrine, made up of pilfered dildos, panties, and lipstick, was seriously damaging my bedroom game. 

It's a bad habit m7. Wood not recommend.

minkie28 Sep 22 17:02

Reply

Report

When I first knew Mr M, after I had stayed over for a night and discarded an empty face cream jar in the bin, I found on a later visit he had fished it out and buried it in a sock drawer. I found this very cute.
 

mmm. I am a bit mixed on this. On the one hand fetish weirdness. On the other, i remember smell or the face cream of one person way back in a way that transcends all time. And it has been some time. 

Re the credit card it was just so stupid because there was no one else it could be and when quizzed admitted it and I was like wtf were you going to do with it and how did you think you’d get away with it. He didn’t really have any answers and funnily enough I ended it there and then. See you later burglar boy 

What Scylla/the link says; it's like you are keeping trophies, demonstrative of you viewing people as conquests. Odd in my view.  Less odd if the person gives you something as a gift, and you treasure that.

Retaining something from a date could be a memento or a trophy. I guess it depends whether the object was procured surreptitiously or not.

I had an ex boyfriend who, when my sister went to his flat to collect my things when it ended (I've always been non confrontational) by agreement when he was out, she found a load of my underwear at the back of his laundry cuboard which I had been complaining had been going missing over the year or so we had been seeing each other.  That is creepy. 

Was mightly relieved we had broken up when she came home and reported this to me.

Coffee mugs or the odd scarf or a few photos from some of the nicer times/memories are fine.

Underwear I would say is in the grey area in the direction of serial killers who keep trophies of their prey.

Lady Pot just abandons her underwear at my place and shockingly seems to expect me to launder it.

After a quick audit it seems I am holding about $400 worth of her collection which only represents about 25% of her entire stash. An audit of my underwear results in a maximum value of $30!!

I am worried that she may have a lingerie problem.

does it make a difference if you are a girl, you give a 20 mins BJ to the guy and he just falls asleep  - but you still like him a lot and you just want a small memento? 

 

haaa! One of my friends has loads of taped video calls (18+ content) with an ex.  I always said that this should be deleted - mainly for mental health reasons.

@Coronovax - how can it damage your bedroom game?  Thinking of your ex's dildo hidden in the basement had a negative effect on your libido during s.x?  

‘does it make a difference if you are a girl, you give a 20 mins BJ to the guy and he just falls asleep  - but you still like him a lot and you just want a small memento? ‘

 

 

 

 

 

*chokes on the stench of desperation* 

 

I do this with memorable autopsies. Keep a gallstone or something. 

hehe - what's the lawyer equivalent of this - keeping memorable first drafts? 

Seems a bit artificial and pessimistic, as if you think that memento may be all you'll ever have.

Old hand-written letters are the best mementos.  And concert / plane tickets etc.  Put some boundaries on this, otherwise you'll have to hire a lock-up just to store old biscuit packets on the basis that you both dunked a McVities (that last is not slang, but sounds as if it should be).  

I once did have a shoebox of things that girls had left had my flat but never came back for. Eventually I decided it was a bit Ted Bundyish and threw it all out one day.

We have a sock fairy/thief in this house - I think she is present in many a UK home - I often wonder where all those smelly socks are of the family. On the thread question - it is wrong to steal so most of the things to be taken are illegal and the solicitor could be struck off (yes even over a pair of knickers). However if you took something that does not belong to someone else you might be okay.

The most memorable aspect of one of my most recent dates involved the back seat of a car, but I really don’t think it would have been practical for either of us to have considered stealing that…..

m7 orhan pamuk already constructed a massive best-selling novel and a v weird real-life but made-up tribute house out of this v deb7