Cyclist headbuts pedestrian

So much going on here...  Quite funny to observe the bystanders.  What is the cycle courier stationary on the pavement doing?

Hope he gets done. Fuck that for acceptable behaviour.

Poor guy.  Serious assault. And no, provocation is not a defence to assault.

The chap on the ground nearly got the attention of the hot blonde but then she thought meh

the cycle courier is checking his phone isn't he? presumably between runs

The courier sitting checking his phone hears what I assume is the pedestrian giving the cyclist some verbal in light of what appears either to be the cyclist crashing a red signal or just getting too close to a pedestrian who was crossing on a red signal.

the victim looks in good shape for 57

faod there doesn't seem to have been any provocation

cyclist must be prosecuted. As mutts says, a serious assault. I hope they find him quickly.

the blonde is encouraged to make contact with police

the cyclist runs a red light, narrowly misses hitting a crossing pedestrian. it is then clear that the pedestrian had a word or two as the sitting courier looks over his shoulder at that point - presumably to get a fix on whoever it is that is shouting - and this causes the cyclist to stop, dismount and come back to give him the Glasgow snog. There really are no other facts. There is an absence of all sorts of things. No aggros from the pedestrian - no self defence runnable here. Find him, and book him, danno. 

Clearly sees it all and is shocked by the assault. However, while she thinks oh poor chap she then approaches and thinks hang on, that blood is going to wreck this top.

I am 100% in agreement with muttley and heffalump on this incident

there are some distinguishing features of the cyclist which should make it easier to identify him from other CCTV at the time or since.  Squarish skyblue rucksack (Fjallraven Kanken?). Seat on the bike is grey or white which is not very common.  Bike is a fixie with mountain bike style T bar handlebars not racing drop.

<nerd mode>

Technically it's a single speed as he twiddles the pedals backwards before riding off (but it's probably a flip flop hub).

</nerd mode> 

Swear blind I have seen this guy, on that bike, with that backpack, cycling like an absolute tit around Tulse Hill, on and off pavements etc.


He does get around quite speedily tho.

From the description the cyclist is going to be fine though right?

How the fuck is anyone going to pick out one white, average height, 40 something year old, grey haired cycle khunt from the positive sea of them in London?

This is just a typical London cyclist. They are almost all like this

Sadly, this is a warning for me not to heckle cyclists when they run red lights. 

Heh at mutters breaking down and analysing the facts carefully before arguing persuasively that this was a nasty unprovoked assault. What the fuck else could it have been?

Some interesting observations about the role of the blonde lady though, some judges might have missed that.

The cyclist makes a proper effort to get off his bike and walk back which shows some intent.

fecking cyclist.

and what mutters said about pencil skirt blonde

Even for one as sympathetic to cyclists as me that is indefensible.

If he is 5'10" as police suggest, the victim must a 6 footer at least.  Odd choice of person to assault.

Pleased to note that the cyclist not wearing a helmet.  This:

1. identifies him as a twat

2. increases the likelihood of his spreading his unused grey goo over a pavement soon.

note that in addition to going through the red light he is also not using the excellent segregated cycle path that exists on Farringdon Rd at this point


No worse than the behaviour of some of these coked-up maniacs when they're on 2 wheels

does this incident change anyone's opinion on use of facial recognition technology by the rozzers?

Further demonstration that Judy Carter is one of the few posters with sound judgment.

can't believe that the pedestrian didn't know that red-lights don't apply to cyclists.


Article says the cyclist had run a red light, and if so it's clear that what was active here was shame and shock manifesting as aggression:

Pedestrian: Watch out FFS you cock! [or words to that effect]

Cyclist [struck by narcissistic shame that he is bang to rites in the wrong and nearly totalled some poor fucker] Oi! What did you say? Watch where you're going you silly fucker!

Pedestrian: I said watch what the fuck you're doing you were on a red you twat.

Cyclist: Take this cuntychops *BOSH* [*thinks* OMFG what the fuck did I just do? Pedal like the wind]

Blonde: OMG are you alr.... [*thinks* hang on he's old and ugly... er can I pretend not to have seen this?]

Cycle courier: *on whatsapp* hang on lads better duck out, just saw some bloke get nutted, better ditch my cokebag before the bizzies get here

Golly that cyclist looks very like the one who abused me at the weekend when (I in my car) he zoomed onto the mini roundabout I was already on (opposite directions) and then proceeded to turn right without indicating which brought him very nearly into contact with my car. Fortunately I drive slowly in urban traffic and was able to stop.

funny thing was he had that silly tellytubby camera in his helmet, hope he played it back later.

Now filed on his hard drive under hot angry MILF gives me verbals


 i was exceptionally polite actually but I did raise my voice - he was the one effing and blinding!

yet another reason why bikes (at least in big cities) should be required to have reg plates like cars.  


This guy is a terrible c*nt.


Wind your necks in with the cyclist hate tho you ball bags.

Clearly not typical or indicative behaviour unless you count the many road rage manslaughters and pedestrian street fights on the scorecards of other forms of transport.

I cycle, and I'm afraid it is entirely indicative behaviour (save the nutting someone shenanigans).  Most male commuter cyclists are utterly entitled khunts.

There is a small part of me though that enjoys seeing suits get nutted. Watching that video reminded me of that scene in The Dark Night Rises when Bane has his hand on the back of the neck of the rich guy who thought he was in control.

Men with wealth think they have complete licence to mouth off with impunity. There's something about watching them get reminded that their money doesn't give them immunity from the realities of the world.


But yeah, the other 95 % of me thinks that the cyclist is a total dick who needs to get locked up.

Everyone has a touch of the "Falling Down" in them somewhere.

I'm not saying this extreme behaviour is typical of cyclists, but there is something about commuting that brings the innate testosterone-driven (passive-) aggression of the British male to the fore.

Rather than cyclists v pedestrians, the key battleground is, I think, cyclists v cabbies. These are two rival tribes who will never make peace, despite how much there is to unite them, chiefly male insecurity, frustration and thwarted competitive instinct. In this complex relationship are written all the traditional conflicts of human life: sexual envy, class, politics and more.

The cabbie sees in the cyclist a namby-pamby left-liberal remainer with a hard-on for saving the oceans at someone's expense, while the cyclist sees in his adversary a red-faced hypertense racist Brexiteer whose politics would be considered antediluvian at any of Heffalump's dinner parties. The cabbie envies the cyclist's lithe physique and wonders where his own athleticism and virility have gone, Sunday League king of Hackney Marshes that he once was; while the cyclist suspects that in the cabbie's rough-hewn, ready-to-scrap, old school masculinity there is something that women want and the cyclist will never have.  Each suspects the other is richer than he deserves to be and somehow a freeloader. It's modern Britain in a microcosm.

Supes: except the guy in the suit is probably an office distribution manager on 45k and the cyclist a big data jockey on 150.

I don't know how you can surmise the victim is a wealthy power wielder from that video.


If anything, his suit looks really quite shiny.  

Looks to me like he's just walked out of Goldman's new building

a lot of expensive suits are shiny tbf

Apnhb poetry m7 you should be a famous journalist or summat 

BadmanRoFer10 Sep 19 17:05

Reply | 


I cycle, and I'm afraid it is entirely indicative behaviour (save the nutting someone shenanigans).  Most male commuter cyclists are utterly entitled khunts.


Quite, but the only reason we are discussing this is the nutting someone part.

"a lot of expensive suits are shiny tbf"


Ye-esss.  Maybe if you're Elvis or Liberace.  But not in the professional world.  How gauche.  One does not work at Top Man.

You do talk some absolutely cosmic shite Badman

Perhaps this chap does?

Or did. I imagine once the newspapers have got hold of what the poor victim said to this two wheeled saviour of the climate, his life will be destroyed for some sort of perceived political incorrectness 

Badders is of course correct.

You may have had one too many trips to Macau clouding your thinking there laz.

Totally agreed that that cyclist was being a khunt for not wearing a helmet. You know, apart from a pretty complete lack of cogent evidence supporting the idea that helmets improve safety.

If the cyclist gets arrested, I hope the police thoroughly investigate what the pedestrian had said. And if he has committed any public order offence (such as for example by swearing or using other “abusive language”), then I hope he gets prosecuted too. For no one is above the law.


Do you really need a report to tell you that if you wear something hard over your head you are less likely to be injured if you bang it on the floor than if you are simply bashing your skull on it?

Whether it improves safety is, admittedly, a more nuanced question.

The point is that no serious cyclist in their right mind cycles without a helmet.  And cyclists who don't are khunts.


I hope you wear one as a pedestrian, then. After all, “if you wear something hard over your head you are less likely to be injured if you bang it on the floor”. 

This thread has suddenly dipped to a level of intellectual debate only previously experienced when Joey Deacon challenged Freda, the Blue Peter Tortoise, to a 20 questions slapdown on the subject of ‘how do you pronounce ‘ugrfhhjehhnnnghhhahhhhnnm’ and the tortoise won. 

I don’t expect you to understand the terminology there

I know my threads and, while it may be the case that fellow sartorially-aware rofers like strutter and bad “peewee herman in a dirty mac” man have the good taste to avoid such things, plenty of expensive suit would have quite w sheen to them. As evidenced any time you stick your cranium round the door of a a Hugo Boss store. Italian styles also have a tendency to be a bit shiny.

Of course; the man with taste would not do such w thing, but it’s easily possibly to drop two grand on a suit that gives off a bit of glare.

Classic descent into generic Daily Mail-esque cyclist bashing. I'm sure this chap would be an absolute gentleman behind the wheel of a car (and would no doubt comply fully with any knee jerk requirement for cyclists to be registered/insured).

Nowt wrong with a bit of mohair in a suit.

Unless you're the goat it came from, obvs.

a tailored wool suit in grey super 150 weight but sharkskin weave (which is a tight weave that almost looks like a twofold poplin cotton) will have a bit of sheen to it and looks excellent.