Cheeseboard Party - One Wine Only

For a friend's birthday, he has organised a virtual cheese and wine party where we all buy the same cheeseboard and do a virtual tasting this weekend. So far so good and the cheeses have arrived but they all seem to have different wine pairings and I can't be bothered to open different bottles. Any suggestions on the one wine to rule them all? Am thinking of just sticking with port.

FWIW, here are the cheeses:

LA BONDE EN GATINE, Poitou-Charentes
Unpasteurised Goat’s Milk. Traditional Rennet

LANGRES, Champagne
Thermised Cow’s Milk. Traditional Rennet

CAMEMBERT FERMIER SEINE-MARITIME “LE CINQ FRERES”, Bermonville, Normandy
Unpasteurised Cow’s Milk. Traditional Rennet

BEAUFORT CHALET D’ALPAGE, Savoie
Unpasteurised Cow’s Milk, Traditional Rennet

REBLOCHON, Haute Savoie
Unpasteurised Cow’s Milk. Traditional Rennet

BLEU DES CAUSSES, Rouergue
Pasteurised Cow’s Milk. Traditional Rennet

that said, some of the cheeses are from savoie, and savoyard whites go well with dairy/creamy foods in my opinion

I assumed this was something to do with the London Mayoral election and was quite interested.

Go with an English sparkling Rose. Nyetimber do a good one.

Is this from La Fromagerie? 

I went to a cheese and wine tasting evening there once on the promise of wine (I don't like cheese) and they only had one wine with all of the cheese. So ask them what that wine is. 

The blue cheese was their piece de resistance because there was no blue in it. The mold that causes the blueness was there so it still tasted revolting, but it was still young so the mold and cheese were white throughout.

I don't think cheese really goes with dry wine.

I'd stick to port or a sweet/semi-sweet German riesling.

I had some sweet South African wine (Klein Constancia) with stichelton not that long ago and thought that was great.

 

a big wine box of something, after the 1st 2 glasses you won't care

I did one of those and the cheeses all came with their respective mini bottles of wine, from somewhere pricey in London, can't remember. Your mate should have organised better.

Anyway, stick with something neutral like Merlot.

Thanks for the tips guys and yes it is from La Fromagerie. Comes with a video of one of their staff bigging up the cheeses too.

Will stick to the port as sweet and red seems to be the general consensus.

Amontillado. Works with most cheeses in my experience. Plus, you’ll be twice as wrecked as everyone else 

A savignin from the Jura will be lovely with some of these and reasonable with all of them. 

Port will be rancid with washed rind cheeses such as Langres.

port overpowers many cheeses imo but then I do h8 port

Fond memories of cycling up to chateau Chaplin and being the only visitors

I should have also said that I wanted to use wine already in the house so the choices are:

- Malbec

- Bordeaux

- Sauvignon

- Port

- Shiraz Rosé

So which of those is best?

There is also champagne but that just sounds like a bad idea

Throw away the sav because that stuff is rancid. Malbec goes with anything.

Happy to go with RR's recommendation - prefer Malbec over the others anyway

oooo a virtual cheeseboard party with pompous twats. Gutted to be missing out

Camembert is v challenging to wine

i’d stick with white on balance if just one bottle.

Red wine and Camembert is awful. Tbh the available selection is piss poor. Get off your arse and go to the supermarket.

And as a short cut i have found you can test cheeses against wines simply by trying the cheese alongside the originating fruit, get some white and red grapes, maybe apple (cider proxy) etc and do a quick test before you open a bottle. 

Vertigo has it here. Wine just doesn't go very well with cheese, on the whole. 

 

Belgian beer all the way. Or Port. 

Update: Went with the port and the cheeses were great (favourite was the Bleu Des Causses but even the goat's cheese at the start was excellent). Others on the Zoom went with merlot, beer and the French friends had got different bottles in - including a liquorice liqueur.

Will try Irn Bru next time

I'd opt for some Jura region vin jaune mostly because I have a bottle that needs drinking soon. 

Get some good Vieux Marc in and get utterly shitfaced.