Boris Johnson's speaking style

He is a gabbling, blithering idiot. 

Absolutely pathetic. 

Have I missed the bit where he confirmed which workers' kids will still get to go to school?

He announced it yesterday and yet still no details.  Fucks sake.


But I am sure a twat like you would do a much better job. 


no Phil still no definition of what is a "key worker" that is just shit. 


I know that there are various industries lobbying to be placed on "zee list".

He should have only announced it when it was finalised.  24 hours later and nothing is just not good enough.

It's like a pregnancy test. But with blood I think.

Oh right. So like a blood test then? Not a pregnancy test?

Genuinely don’t know what the fuck you want him to do. He sounds fine and is flanked, as always, by people who know what they’re talking about. Just bizarre.

I want him to have thought through the details of his announcements before he makes them, so that a vacuum of uncertainty and swirl doesn't then ensue which (for example) takes up the valuable time of teachers when they could be doing something more fucking productive.

Sound reasonable Wilf?

I loathe Boris as much as the next person, but I'm not sure what more you want from him.  

Phil - the current list (not final) 

National Health Service, including doctors, nurses, midwives and paramedics

Armed forces

Teachers and childcare staff

Care home workers


Social workers

Police officers, community support, civilian staff

Prison officer or other probation staff



Local authority planners

Environmental health officers

Highway Agency traffic officers

Supermarket workers

Delivery drivers

Infrastructure workers, such as gas and electricity

Phil - no it’s not reasonable. The bloke probably knew next to nothing about this three months ago. He comes across as fairly sane and fairly honest if, quite obviously, relatively optimistic.

Then you have the experts next to him for the analysis. 

My goodness he ummed a few times on questions? Shoot him! 

Wibble thanks for the list.  But for it to avoid the negative issues identified in my earlier post, it needs to be final.


It's like a pregnancy test. But with blood I think.

Oh right. So like a blood test then? Not a pregnancy test

what he actually said was “... an antibody test as simple as a pregnancy test” 


it’s your hearing not his speaking

Phil Stamp yet again showing on here that he really is a massive twat of the very highest pedigree.

Genuinely, the sort of bloke you always avoid at parties because it’s a non-stop drone about how awful everything and everybody is, and how he could do so much better.




Mad press conference. His optimism is going to kill people very shortly. In 10 days we will look back at his bumbling positivity and he will be crucified. Which is not a bad thing tbf. 

I don't mind Boris especially, but I agree he comes across as a blithering idiot and his handling of this crisis has been an international embarrassment.  

That speech in full


Ah people of this proud nation. It was Plato who said ‘ne’er a whiff without a waff’ what what? And it is indeed. Ah we we will send or packing, this Cremona virus. Why? You say. How? You say. Ah well I can explain that. Why? Because it is foreign. How? By positive er ah, by positive thinking and, ummm Latin lessons. Yes, Latin. Semper in excretion sumus solum profundiatis variat as they say in Cannonbury. And that’s it.  No, I won’t take questions.  Nor will I ah explain why. Three ducks is a cunt by the way.  

We all love to say how the UK has handled this disastrously.

But we are doing far better than the Italians, Spaniards and French, and much the same as the Dutch and the Belgians.

If only the bloody Germans would stop doing so well we could claim some sort of European prize.