Bobit Mark 2

Just ready a story about a man in Florida who found out his wife was having an affair and went round to her lover's house and chopped the guy's knob off and then ran away with it.  I think it's actually better than the original Bobit scenario of wife cutting off her own husband's bits.

You seem to be missing a "b" and a "t", which is better than missing a "bit", which is where John Wayne Bobbitt and this other chap seem to be lacking.

Whoa. He did it with scissors. That sounds rather slow, messy and brutal.

One to add to my list of nightmare ways to be woken up.

Shame he's not a solicitor on RoF - he could have called himself 0-dicks.

with scissors.

aich. you know when your scissors aren't up to the job and you have to snip snip snip and take an age and you can't keep the line straight and deliver a product with a saw-toothed jagged edge. Now imagine that with the screaming and fighting and the blood spraying everywhere.

Then he ran off with it.

 

fuck

ing

hell

I wonder if he got him reluctantly hard first, or if he just seized it while it was in turkey mode, stretched it out and snipped it off in a vigorous, twangy tear. 

How does that work - he must have knocked him out or something first? 

Only septics seem to have these elaborate revenge outbursts.

Any English chap would have been relieved that someone else was stepping up to the plate and servicing his Missus, as it meant more time down the pub without recriminations. 

Maybe maybe it’s because I’m welsh rather than English but I have had some pretty disturbing fantasies about what I’d like to do to my wife’s boyfriend...  Obviously haven’t actually done anything but still, I do understand the sentiment.

Hope he used rusty scissors so as to include a bout of tetanus as well.

Maybe maybe it’s because I’m welsh rather than English but I have had some pretty disturbing fantasies about what I’d like to do to my wife’s boyfriend...  Obviously haven’t actually done anything but still, I do understand the sentiment.

 

maybe you should tell them both and before the night is out you'll be being spitroasted between him with his non-Bobbitt and her with her Strap-on Donor Bobbitt

Bleeurgh

 

I'd rather have micro-Lizard chopped off with some scissors

You see, that's one of the differences between you and, well, I was going to say "me" but the rest of mankind generally, in that you've decided to write a sentence on the internet about your "pretty disturbing fantasies" in the context of a thread reporting a severed penis.

 

Just pause and read that.

No no I did, I even toned it down a bit.  Which jealous man whose mrs totally broke his heart hasn’t had thoughts about doing something ‘orrible to that woman’s new partner?  

I don’t think anything ever could be really, but it’s not like I can change the way she feels about me (or indeed doesn’t) so anything I could do would be futile.  

Hence I do nothing. But I won’t lie and pretend I didn't think nasty things in the past, I absolutely did I just didn’t and wouldn’t act on them because, amazingly, I believe in the rule of law.

I assume he waited until the victim was asleep then tied him to the bed so he could go to work with one those little pairs of blunt scissors you were given at primary school so you couldn't hurt yourself.