I just took my daughter to school and one of her friend's dad's pitched up in a gleeming black Ferrari 458. He's a really nice bloke, fit, attractive, successful. His wife is 10/10 gorgeous, also very nice and friendly and kind. Their kids are lovely. In the past I may have been jealous but now I think how lovely for them all. No reason not to admire them and be happy for them.
Richer not really, I am not massively money motivated and the only thing that would make me richer would be willingness to work harder at boring stuff and/or take on more risk, neither of which I plan to do.
No to all. The fact I am not as rich or fit is on me. The fact I am ugly is no reason to be jealous of then (actually I think all people are fairly ugly when you get down to skin grease levels of intimacy so *shrug*)
I think most people work out quite early in life that there will always be people who are richer , fitter and better looking. and that it doesn't matter
I wouldn't say jealous, but if the person is otherwise similar enough to me such that I legitimately could say "It could have been me if I had made more effort ..." then sometimes I get, I dunno, a bit wistful ...
Like the guy in my Constitutional Law class who is now a successful, award-winning sci fi author ...
The important thing in life imo is to work out what is important to you and know what you are prepared to do to achieve it. I made myself unhappy for years striving for something (a big bucks citylaw career) that I didn't want. Once I realised that and stopped I became significantly happier despite becoming significantly poorer.
It's only the similar ones that get you as above. The other thing is that when you get older you realise that in the corporate world at least, the people who achieve are often cunts or dull or both so that makes it easier to rationalise.
Looks fall away as an issue as you go through middle age. I've never been good looking but am aging very well so am improving my "ranking" .
I just took my daughter to school and one of her friend's dad's pitched up in a gleeming black Ferrari 458. He's a really nice bloke, fit, attractive, successful. His wife is 10/10 gorgeous, also very nice and friendly and kind. Their kids are lovely. In the past I may have been jealous but now I think how lovely for them all. No reason not to admire them and be happy for them.
the part of this that is really enviable is that they are (or appear to be) a happy family. That is more important than anything else
Richer and fitter you can control (generally, obviously exceptions).
Being born good looking is like a super power. I do the best with what I've got and am grateful to not frighten children, but man some people just have that perfect smile, jawline, eyes, etc and they will forever have a leg up on human interaction. Well at least until they get old.
I get an instinctive flash of jealousy if I'm honest but it doesn't last long when I remember that I have it good too and none of it really matters because we all have problems and die.
No, I'm not - I have lots of richer and more successful colleagues and I'm decent looking but nothing special, but I'm very happy with my life, career, friends, family. However, if I was less fortunate (eg worried about money, hated job, unhappily married, very ugly etc) I think I would have a tendency to look at others and feel bitter.
only envious of people happier, some people dont seem bothered by anything.
my altzheimery step mum has this thing where she has no memory of really bad stuff. She cant remember being widowed (has happened to her twice) or any of her beloved dachsunds dying.
this is not the dementia, she has always been like that. Living the dream, i reckon.
I got chatting to his Mrs at a birthday party. When I say 10/10 I mean 10/10. Anyway, I'd been to Barcelona recently and we'd looked up a yacht parked in the harbour and it was Usmanov's. She said she'd worked for Usmanov as a hostess on his yacht and plane, and showed me pictures of them on her phone. Absolutely vile interior design but mentally lavish and huge. I asked her why she'd stopped and matter of fact she said "I got pregnant and he obviously didn't want a pregnant woman on board".
I used to suffer from jealousy a bit as I have a competitive streak. But I noticed quite quickly (early 20s) that it just made me bitter and unhappy and it was pointless. I may have been more succesful had I been a bit less zen about it, but I think Ive been a lot happier. Especially when you look at it objectively and realise most people you envy are perfectly lovely and it far healtheir to just be happy for them. And that actually compared to 90% + one is doing really well anyway.
I do wonder if it would have been as easy to be so chilled about it without the law paying me good money.
I found moving a long way from London helped quite a bit too. Mid level london law money goes a long way when you get out of London.
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I just took my daughter to school and one of her friend's dad's pitched up in a gleeming black Ferrari 458. He's a really nice bloke, fit, attractive, successful. His wife is 10/10 gorgeous, also very nice and friendly and kind. Their kids are lovely. In the past I may have been jealous but now I think how lovely for them all. No reason not to admire them and be happy for them.
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Richer not really, I am not massively money motivated and the only thing that would make me richer would be willingness to work harder at boring stuff and/or take on more risk, neither of which I plan to do.
Better looking - never met any.
Fitter - yes
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No to all. The fact I am not as rich or fit is on me. The fact I am ugly is no reason to be jealous of then (actually I think all people are fairly ugly when you get down to skin grease levels of intimacy so *shrug*)
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no
I think most people work out quite early in life that there will always be people who are richer , fitter and better looking. and that it doesn't matter
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Money - no, not very interested
Better looking - no, I look as good as the effort I make
Fitter - sometimes, but within my own gift, sometimes I am fit, sometimes not so much.
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I'm not sure *most* people do to be honest.
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I wouldn't say jealous, but if the person is otherwise similar enough to me such that I legitimately could say "It could have been me if I had made more effort ..." then sometimes I get, I dunno, a bit wistful ...
Like the guy in my Constitutional Law class who is now a successful, award-winning sci fi author ...
But my mirror tells me I'm better looking. :)
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The important thing in life imo is to work out what is important to you and know what you are prepared to do to achieve it. I made myself unhappy for years striving for something (a big bucks citylaw career) that I didn't want. Once I realised that and stopped I became significantly happier despite becoming significantly poorer.
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Money - yes, always have been since I was little
Better looking - yes,
fitter - not really
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It's only the similar ones that get you as above. The other thing is that when you get older you realise that in the corporate world at least, the people who achieve are often cunts or dull or both so that makes it easier to rationalise.
Looks fall away as an issue as you go through middle age. I've never been good looking but am aging very well so am improving my "ranking" .
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I just took my daughter to school and one of her friend's dad's pitched up in a gleeming black Ferrari 458. He's a really nice bloke, fit, attractive, successful. His wife is 10/10 gorgeous, also very nice and friendly and kind. Their kids are lovely. In the past I may have been jealous but now I think how lovely for them all. No reason not to admire them and be happy for them.
the part of this that is really enviable is that they are (or appear to be) a happy family. That is more important than anything else
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Richer and fitter you can control (generally, obviously exceptions).
Being born good looking is like a super power. I do the best with what I've got and am grateful to not frighten children, but man some people just have that perfect smile, jawline, eyes, etc and they will forever have a leg up on human interaction. Well at least until they get old.
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I get an instinctive flash of jealousy if I'm honest but it doesn't last long when I remember that I have it good too and none of it really matters because we all have problems and die.
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No, I'm not - I have lots of richer and more successful colleagues and I'm decent looking but nothing special, but I'm very happy with my life, career, friends, family. However, if I was less fortunate (eg worried about money, hated job, unhappily married, very ugly etc) I think I would have a tendency to look at others and feel bitter.
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only envious of people happier, some people dont seem bothered by anything.
my altzheimery step mum has this thing where she has no memory of really bad stuff. She cant remember being widowed (has happened to her twice) or any of her beloved dachsunds dying.
this is not the dementia, she has always been like that. Living the dream, i reckon.
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Haven’t met one yet
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Lol re Laz's comments on looks. I know loads of people who beat me on all 3 and not envious at all.
The only person I am slightly envious of is a fantasy writer I know.
PP who was the sci fi writer?
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I'll wave next time, Phil.
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Heh @ Bentines.
I got chatting to his Mrs at a birthday party. When I say 10/10 I mean 10/10. Anyway, I'd been to Barcelona recently and we'd looked up a yacht parked in the harbour and it was Usmanov's. She said she'd worked for Usmanov as a hostess on his yacht and plane, and showed me pictures of them on her phone. Absolutely vile interior design but mentally lavish and huge. I asked her why she'd stopped and matter of fact she said "I got pregnant and he obviously didn't want a pregnant woman on board".
Eek.
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I used to suffer from jealousy a bit as I have a competitive streak. But I noticed quite quickly (early 20s) that it just made me bitter and unhappy and it was pointless. I may have been more succesful had I been a bit less zen about it, but I think Ive been a lot happier. Especially when you look at it objectively and realise most people you envy are perfectly lovely and it far healtheir to just be happy for them. And that actually compared to 90% + one is doing really well anyway.
I do wonder if it would have been as easy to be so chilled about it without the law paying me good money.
I found moving a long way from London helped quite a bit too. Mid level london law money goes a long way when you get out of London.
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Money, no. I want to know how they achieved it so that I can learn.
Better looking, no. Good for them, maybe just have a few durty thoughts in the moment and then move on.
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richer: heh
fitter: wotevs
better looking: see richer
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