My 2.5 yr old is like a teenager. Hates being woken up and takes ages to get out of bed whilst having a proper moan and then wants to watch cartoons and have some cereal before nursery.
They were until I kicked them outside to do the rabbits. It is so freezing cold that threats of putting them outside again are maintaining some semblance of calm.
They were being dicks this morning by acting like they do live in sound proof rooms and totally ignoring my terribly complex instructions to (1) eat (2) get dressed
Mine aren’t bad but fooking hell when they act up it drives me wild. Today was about 8/10. A Nutella mishap, some phone watching shenanigans and a bit of outfit changing going on, but pretty smooth.
Mums who don’t let their children cry at night are crazy. Martyr Mums. My baby needs me and it’s my job to comfort them bollox.
Er, no. Being able to self sooth and sleep through the night is a life skill and necessary for a healthy existence (baby and parents). Let it cry, it’s in a safe place, it will be ok.
Controlled crying is the way forward. We did the whole sleep training thing at 7 months and it was a game changer. Ours sleeps from circa 8 till 8 (if we don't need to get her up for nursery) and she seems to genuinely like going to bed.
In fairness, on crying it out our first was quite extreme. She would cry wildly for an hour and often vomit all over the bedroom in distress. We had a few phases of trying to let her cry out in her first year but she's such a persistent little fooker it never worked - we always caved. So bed time was always a half hour cuddle job for the first two years, and sometimes co-sleeping with one or both of us.
The second was much more standard issue. Cry (more of a whinge) for up to 20 minutes then pop off.
They both sleep great now so no harm done.
So for any new parents on here I'd say if crying it out isn't working, don't worry about it, it'll probably settle down. You just might die of exhaustion in the interim.
One good as gold, one medium (grumpy teenager approaching - does not like to wake up before 10), one who will happily wake up at 5 to try and get a good 3 hours mariokart in before school (this has been restricted) and has worked out all the codes for the kids lock on the various telly devices. Latter will still be being shouted at at half 8 to get dressed and will then emerge with a felt tip covered white shirt, untucked, a badly made tie looking like Emelda from grange hill before having to be sent upstairs 3 or 4 times to brush his teeth. He will then invariably be unable to find jumper/water bottle/arse and elbow.
You can sleep train without crying it out, but this is not the thread for thread for that.
Our 3.5 year old just goes on a go slow, she needs to be up at least 90 minutes before leaving time to get out the house without and enormous, loud and lasting kick off.
My eldest got dressed himself which was very sweet, but had everything on inside out so I had to take things off. He then refused to put anything else on except three pairs of pants and his dressing gown, had an almighty, violent sh*t fit when I forcibly dressed him and broke his dumper truck in a tantrum, sending him straight to the heart of darkness for about an hour. Joy.
Er, hang on, having now actually read the article that might be a bit too close to the bone given last weeks thread so apologies for that, would delete if I could.
Girl (4) is angelic. Wakes up, comes in and wants cuddles and to tell us how much she loves us. Self-dresses, tries to do her own hair. Gets her own cereal and puts the milk on (badly, but bless), skips into the car ready to be taken to school.
Boy (6) is a dick. Wakes up with a growl, is an utter penis for no reason, deliberately hits / kicks / pushes us in the bed and upsets his sister and generally spoils everything. Has to be cajololed over and over and over again to put his clothes on, eat his breakfast, brush his teeth, put his shoes on. UTTERLY fookING EXHAUSTING.
mine are still delightful but one is going to be a teen soon so maybe that will change. They're dickish to each other but late afternoon / evening (hangry/ tired)
it seems quite common for people to have one nice and one horrible kid. I often wonder if they'd only had one if those traits would be melded into one person or if it would just be a terrifying lottery where you'd either have an amazing loving life or an awful we need to talk about kevin one
Oh I should add my angelic 4 year-old's response to being tired is "I'm tired now and I need to go to bed" Which she then does, and wears an eye mask (unicorn natch).
Lol at all the smuggery on sleep training from parents whose kids were always receptive to it in the first place. Newsflash - it only works if the kid wants it to work. I know this as have 2 kids, one of whom you can leave to squawk for a bit and she figures it out, and the other who defied all and every form of sleep training for 3 years and who still needs comfort at night. Totally different kids, am a martyr with one and not the other. Bite me.
But re the OP, am looking forward to the kids being autonomous in the morning, even if they are dickish ones. Although I might just be wistfully thinking of the future as have sick kids atm and this morning as I was leaving for work I gave my baby daughter a kiss and she threw up all over my face and hair. Straight back in the shower...late for work...sigh....
I think my worst pukemoment was when ~2 had just come home from the hospital after arriving. Maybe 2 days old. I took him upstairs to change him and all of this horrible orangey gunk started spouting from his little solataran nose and mouth, all over me and the new carpet.
Haha linda she hadn’t thrown up prior to this morning otherwise I would have been more careful. Arrived at work with wet hair and my childless and carefree chief of staff said “oh did you go for a swim this morning?” Erm, not quite.
My boy is 12 (I only have one) and I sympathise. He is a zombie in the morning, how many times I have to repeat for him to get dressed (he usually starts and then forgets??), eat his breakfast, brush his hair, clean his teeth. Argghhhh he drives me up the wall. He can honestly ruin my morning. And his phone.... don't start me on that. In answer to the question above re angelic/not so angelic kids, mine can be an angel but is quite troublesome to be honest, hard work hence why only having the one!!
I give them 8 minutes to get up, get dressed then go to the loo. If they meet this KPI, they get 10 mins of TV after homework done. They need to present downstairs with a breakfast choice made (Weetabix / porridge/ toast / branflakes) and then eat it within 15 minutes. That's another 10 mins TV.
There's a further 10 mins TV available on a discretionary basis, for not behaving like a fooking dick.
they always blame the other one otherwise. It shifts their emphasis from "I'm not in trouble and he is, so I win" to "will OUR behaviour piss of our parents?"
When Shooty Jnr was pretty young, I forget how young exactly but a) not walking or talking b) still on a bottle, we took him to Spain. We were using formula milk for some feeds, i think.
Now, given that Spain is essentially a 3rd World country and everyone knows you shouldn't drink the water, we decided to make his feed with bottled water. That's fine. He took it all down.
We put him to bed. Where he stayed for approx 30 seconds before, and I shit you not, he vommed straight upwards, like some kind of beige, watery volcano. It was like a fountain, reaching a good 20 - 30 cm out of his little head, and by Allah, didn't it just keep coming and coming.
So, yeah. Something didn't agree with him. We cut the holiday short after a few days and came home. Suxors.
A couple of years later we went to Centre Parcs. At the end of the holiday, packed the car up, put the bikes on the back, and strapped him into his car seat. Drove to the exit, where you join a queue of cars to leave, and
BLEURGH
He throws up in his own lap. Obviously, everything useful was packed in the back of the car, so off come the bikes, out come the bags, etc.
To be fair to the kid, though, he had bullseye accuracy with his piss when we were changing his nappies. Like a urinary sniper.
Shootette is 11 and loves school, so was up and dressed before all of us. Those with long memories may recall that about 9 months ago, she had bullying issues. Pleased to say that they seem to have resolved, and she's bounced back. She had her birthday party this month, and got a nice crowd along, which didn't include the little antipodean bitch who made her miserable.
Shooty Jnr is nearly 14. He was a bit mopey this morning, sniping at his sister, but that's as far as it went. He's generally an even tempered soul. He does tend to misplace things, though. Think that's just a boy thing. About the only things he does not misplace are a) his phone b) his Nintendo Switch and c) his Warhammer stuff.
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My 2.5 yr old is like a teenager. Hates being woken up and takes ages to get out of bed whilst having a proper moan and then wants to watch cartoons and have some cereal before nursery.
beats them waking up at 5am i suppose though
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noisy, but charmant
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yes. hangry normally
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They were until I kicked them outside to do the rabbits. It is so freezing cold that threats of putting them outside again are maintaining some semblance of calm.
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One is perfect, gets self dressed and gives lots of hugs.
T'other is a monumental bellend refusing to do anything and going boneless to make it even harder.
At least I know which one to eat first when we no deal and Waitrose runs out of couscous.
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can you make them understand that your love is conditional on them being enjoyable to be around? that might help
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(ps this sounds like I am being some sort of mumsnet LOVE YOUR CHILDREN UNCONDITIONALLY type but I actually mean it as a suggestion)
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I've tried clergs, I think they think I don't mean it ??♀️
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damn!
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kids can see through that kind of ruse ffs
thats the first thing they teach in toddler school
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Clergs, I'm with you on the conditional love. My love only comes in conditional flavour.
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My wife is utterly unable to get her head around sleep-training our 10month old. YOU HAVE TO PUT IT DOWN AND LET IT WAH.
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mine too, sct
if someone is unbearable to be around I will not allow them to be around me (this has been a bit surprising for manipulative in-laws in the past)
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I don't understand why rich people don't just put them in soundproof rooms at the other end of the building tbh
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My children would LOVE to be in a soundproof room at the other end of the house clergs, they would be in heaven.
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They were being dicks this morning by acting like they do live in sound proof rooms and totally ignoring my terribly complex instructions to (1) eat (2) get dressed
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Mine aren’t bad but fooking hell when they act up it drives me wild. Today was about 8/10. A Nutella mishap, some phone watching shenanigans and a bit of outfit changing going on, but pretty smooth.
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08:50 - surely you mean lie there with it for two hours IN CASE IT DIES
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All fine over at strutter towers.
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How would you know?
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Mums who don’t let their children cry at night are crazy. Martyr Mums. My baby needs me and it’s my job to comfort them bollox.
Er, no. Being able to self sooth and sleep through the night is a life skill and necessary for a healthy existence (baby and parents). Let it cry, it’s in a safe place, it will be ok.
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Because I live there.
Obvious really when you think about it.
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I'm not really seeing you as the hands on type tbh
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On what evidence may one enquire?
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wot highjinx sed
Controlled crying is the way forward. We did the whole sleep training thing at 7 months and it was a game changer. Ours sleeps from circa 8 till 8 (if we don't need to get her up for nursery) and she seems to genuinely like going to bed.
Makes life manageable.
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Could the baby and toddler owners vacate the thread and go to mumsnet or something? I'm talking about actual dickish autonomous children.
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No
Ownership of a baby means you own any thread or conversation.
You know this.
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In fairness, on crying it out our first was quite extreme. She would cry wildly for an hour and often vomit all over the bedroom in distress. We had a few phases of trying to let her cry out in her first year but she's such a persistent little fooker it never worked - we always caved. So bed time was always a half hour cuddle job for the first two years, and sometimes co-sleeping with one or both of us.
The second was much more standard issue. Cry (more of a whinge) for up to 20 minutes then pop off.
They both sleep great now so no harm done.
So for any new parents on here I'd say if crying it out isn't working, don't worry about it, it'll probably settle down. You just might die of exhaustion in the interim.
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Sorry linda I did mumsnet that a bit. What I mean is: my children are dicks.
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One good as gold, one medium (grumpy teenager approaching - does not like to wake up before 10), one who will happily wake up at 5 to try and get a good 3 hours mariokart in before school (this has been restricted) and has worked out all the codes for the kids lock on the various telly devices. Latter will still be being shouted at at half 8 to get dressed and will then emerge with a felt tip covered white shirt, untucked, a badly made tie looking like Emelda from grange hill before having to be sent upstairs 3 or 4 times to brush his teeth. He will then invariably be unable to find jumper/water bottle/arse and elbow.
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You can sleep train without crying it out, but this is not the thread for thread for that.
Our 3.5 year old just goes on a go slow, she needs to be up at least 90 minutes before leaving time to get out the house without and enormous, loud and lasting kick off.
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Linda, yesterday
https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/ive-enough-kids-abusive-mum-17698305
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My eldest got dressed himself which was very sweet, but had everything on inside out so I had to take things off. He then refused to put anything else on except three pairs of pants and his dressing gown, had an almighty, violent sh*t fit when I forcibly dressed him and broke his dumper truck in a tantrum, sending him straight to the heart of darkness for about an hour. Joy.
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Er, hang on, having now actually read the article that might be a bit too close to the bone given last weeks thread so apologies for that, would delete if I could.
I just thought the picture was funny.
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When gags go wrong...
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Close to bone?
eh??
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Girl (4) is angelic. Wakes up, comes in and wants cuddles and to tell us how much she loves us. Self-dresses, tries to do her own hair. Gets her own cereal and puts the milk on (badly, but bless), skips into the car ready to be taken to school.
Boy (6) is a dick. Wakes up with a growl, is an utter penis for no reason, deliberately hits / kicks / pushes us in the bed and upsets his sister and generally spoils everything. Has to be cajololed over and over and over again to put his clothes on, eat his breakfast, brush his teeth, put his shoes on. UTTERLY fookING EXHAUSTING.
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mine are still delightful but one is going to be a teen soon so maybe that will change. They're dickish to each other but late afternoon / evening (hangry/ tired)
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it seems quite common for people to have one nice and one horrible kid. I often wonder if they'd only had one if those traits would be melded into one person or if it would just be a terrifying lottery where you'd either have an amazing loving life or an awful we need to talk about kevin one
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Oh I should add my angelic 4 year-old's response to being tired is "I'm tired now and I need to go to bed" Which she then does, and wears an eye mask (unicorn natch).
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heh
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My daughter has one of those masks
she would appear to be the angel child, but she can actually be a massive PITA too. Very stubborn.
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Fortunately mine take it in turns to behave like dicks. I think they have a rota.
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Lol at all the smuggery on sleep training from parents whose kids were always receptive to it in the first place. Newsflash - it only works if the kid wants it to work. I know this as have 2 kids, one of whom you can leave to squawk for a bit and she figures it out, and the other who defied all and every form of sleep training for 3 years and who still needs comfort at night. Totally different kids, am a martyr with one and not the other. Bite me.
But re the OP, am looking forward to the kids being autonomous in the morning, even if they are dickish ones. Although I might just be wistfully thinking of the future as have sick kids atm and this morning as I was leaving for work I gave my baby daughter a kiss and she threw up all over my face and hair. Straight back in the shower...late for work...sigh....
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jahahahhaha oh god you poor thing! (but file it away in your memory bank to torment them over it 4 eva)
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NEVER kiss a child who has recently thrown up
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I think my worst pukemoment was when ~2 had just come home from the hospital after arriving. Maybe 2 days old. I took him upstairs to change him and all of this horrible orangey gunk started spouting from his little solataran nose and mouth, all over me and the new carpet.
I froze and just started shouting for mrs W.
Yes, it was no doubt amniotic fluid and meconium.
That should put clergs off her dim sum.
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Haha linda she hadn’t thrown up prior to this morning otherwise I would have been more careful. Arrived at work with wet hair and my childless and carefree chief of staff said “oh did you go for a swim this morning?” Erm, not quite.
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Lol @ Wang. I have watched my son puke out of his nose. It’s an amazing spectacle.
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mine threw up on me at her first birthday party. I was holding her and it went in my mouth
even though she is now 10 I like to torment her with this story.
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Think I can see where Clergham is coming from tbh
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they are all insane
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"oh but it's all worth it when *files through every age category and reaches the bit where they move out* never"
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My boy is 12 (I only have one) and I sympathise. He is a zombie in the morning, how many times I have to repeat for him to get dressed (he usually starts and then forgets??), eat his breakfast, brush his hair, clean his teeth. Argghhhh he drives me up the wall. He can honestly ruin my morning. And his phone.... don't start me on that. In answer to the question above re angelic/not so angelic kids, mine can be an angel but is quite troublesome to be honest, hard work hence why only having the one!!
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I look forward to reading Rof's own mary ann cotton's guide to parenting.
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it shall be called "how to sabotage your life for no reason: regretz"
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ps the fact that you always get so psycho around this topic makes me feel a bit sad for you, wang
it wont be forever
probably
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I give them 8 minutes to get up, get dressed then go to the loo. If they meet this KPI, they get 10 mins of TV after homework done. They need to present downstairs with a breakfast choice made (Weetabix / porridge/ toast / branflakes) and then eat it within 15 minutes. That's another 10 mins TV.
There's a further 10 mins TV available on a discretionary basis, for not behaving like a fooking dick.
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this bonus scheme is amazing
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it's an alliancing scheme - if one fails they both do. Gets them to encourage / cajole (threaten) the other to comply.
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They get up at 7.05, they normally have some play time by 7.30, and leave the house at 7:55
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Love the collective punishment as well.
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not being sarcastic
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Any of them could go either way on any particular day.
i maintain a mental league table of “which my kids is being the biggest dick today”
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they always blame the other one otherwise. It shifts their emphasis from "I'm not in trouble and he is, so I win" to "will OUR behaviour piss of our parents?"
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I don't care what auntING SOCKS YOU PUT ON!!!! JUST PUT SOME ON AND GET OUT OF THE fookING HOUSE BEFORE THE SKY fookING FALLS IN!!!!!!!
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although I get a fair amount of Jelly2 being a dick which causes Jellies1&2 to lose a treat.
Jelly 1 normally reacts with a "OMG, THIS IS SO UNFAIR - I ALWAYS GET PUNISHED FOR JELLY2'S BEHAVIOUR" meltdown.
Jelly2 sits back, smirks and says "I would like to watch TV, but seeing Jelly1's reaction is entertaining too..."
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jelly2, at 7, is earmarked for PM or leader of a crime syndicate.
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Sorrydidyou - please remove the listening equipment from my house
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HEH@sozzdy
You totally did a washing put-away fail and your nipper is wearing one superman sock and one football sock from the 1998 Fulchester United under 15s
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AND AT NIGHT! The little shit hounds have collected all of the toys in the world and STREWN THEM ALL OVER THE SHITTING LOUNGE!!!! MY fookING BACK!!!
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Boys 5&2
Massive Khunts 24/7
Take after their mum.
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Baby vom story incoming!
When Shooty Jnr was pretty young, I forget how young exactly but a) not walking or talking b) still on a bottle, we took him to Spain. We were using formula milk for some feeds, i think.
Now, given that Spain is essentially a 3rd World country and everyone knows you shouldn't drink the water, we decided to make his feed with bottled water. That's fine. He took it all down.
We put him to bed. Where he stayed for approx 30 seconds before, and I shit you not, he vommed straight upwards, like some kind of beige, watery volcano. It was like a fountain, reaching a good 20 - 30 cm out of his little head, and by Allah, didn't it just keep coming and coming.
So, yeah. Something didn't agree with him. We cut the holiday short after a few days and came home. Suxors.
A couple of years later we went to Centre Parcs. At the end of the holiday, packed the car up, put the bikes on the back, and strapped him into his car seat. Drove to the exit, where you join a queue of cars to leave, and
BLEURGH
He throws up in his own lap. Obviously, everything useful was packed in the back of the car, so off come the bikes, out come the bags, etc.
To be fair to the kid, though, he had bullseye accuracy with his piss when we were changing his nappies. Like a urinary sniper.
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Mine were fine this morning, btw.
Shootette is 11 and loves school, so was up and dressed before all of us. Those with long memories may recall that about 9 months ago, she had bullying issues. Pleased to say that they seem to have resolved, and she's bounced back. She had her birthday party this month, and got a nice crowd along, which didn't include the little antipodean bitch who made her miserable.
Shooty Jnr is nearly 14. He was a bit mopey this morning, sniping at his sister, but that's as far as it went. He's generally an even tempered soul. He does tend to misplace things, though. Think that's just a boy thing. About the only things he does not misplace are a) his phone b) his Nintendo Switch and c) his Warhammer stuff.
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