Any advice

(Other than don't get pissed - I've got that one) for dos and don'ts attending a work Christmas party before you are due to start working there?  Party is at 8 and I need to start getting ready in about half an hour... 

Cheers

Don't make it about you when you meet people.  Ask them questions and be interested in them.  If you find yourself rambling on about things you've done in the past stop quickly and try to find their views on something.

Dress a bit slutty.

yw.

Well I know you have 'got that one' now  but I was thinking of as the night wore on, so

 

DONT GET PISSED

 

and no snogging

Meet a few people, be seen, leave early, and don't get pissed or be outragious obviously.

is it a sit down meal? beer not fizz before.    use the two sips water, one sip wine mantra.  watch for the waiter topping u up.  don't venture in to any brexit debates.  seize on any op to talk cricket. avoid religion.  be up to date on I'm a Sleb

make sure to meet the people who you will be working with

Just a few drinks with my new team, the proper party is after I start.  Liking your tips especially Wang.

If it's "just a few drinks" go and carb load with a sub or a burger first.  not mcdonalds tho that will inflate like a tampax once beer is added.  trust wang on this

If someone goes off to the bog, don’t slag them off behind their back. 

I don’t fucking like her, do you?

Don't be sick over the table is always a good start.

Already had a big bowl of pasta to line the stomach :)

pretty much what Chambo said. get your face in front of a couple of the senior people; bit of chat with new colleagues; fvck off home

unless you’re the new boss, in which case make them do shots until they puke 

Wassa point of the Christmas party if you don’t have a few sherries?

would definitely eat something substantial beforehand. Other than that, be merry, get pissed, don’t talk Brexit and don’t go on to the after party as it’ll be shite. 

Volunteer to organize karaoke after the party?

I deliberately left early because I half suspected what some of the juniors would get up to later on. I think my parting words to them were have fun and try not to get arrested. Because I'd rather not have to sort that out tomorrow.

 

What would you have to sort out if they got arrested?

Presumably a non partner having delusions of responsibility would be the first thing needing sorting.

I’m genuinely interested to know what he’d have to sort out if a member of his team got arrested in such a scenario. 

 

I’m genuinely interested to know what he’d have to sort out if a member of his team got arrested in such a scenario. 

 

A replacement to do the arrestee's work in the run up to Xmas ?

His team was in marketing, they don't do anything useful anyway so I can't see that as being a burning necessity.

I probably did more useful things than you ever did Teclis, keep on spinning those yarns which nobody believes.

Winston Wolfe is a pretty good analogy.

Tec to be fair the head of marketing /strategy/BD would be more senior than an awful lot of partners in MC firms and be earning accordingly, like above 750 k comfortably .

Heh, this coming from the guy who thought that an invitation to a friends daughters wedding somehow merited him to refer to himself as a special agent Gibbs type.  Rather than, yaknow, just a friendly and thoughtful gesture.

 

a former colleague turned up at the Christmas party before he joined. He was still working his notice at his office firm so he was growing his “notice period” beard

 

the chairman said a few words.  Including telling new joiner to make sure he found his razor before he started.