according to the new Samaritans ad, on average 135 people are affected by a suicide

I feel like this is a bit unhelpful given that the obvious thought process is "oh... not that many people would notice if I died... that's really depressing... maybe my life isn't worth living" etc


ANYWAY do you think 135 people would be affected by your demise (by any means)?


I reckon if I count everyone who reads rof (whether they like it or not), the mortuary assistants and my mum saying I told you so I can get to about 35


maybe I should do more good 



Isn't the point of the ad that people massively underestimate their significance and how many people would be affected?

No man is an island and all that 

anyway 35 people is a lot 

My m7 dave's m7 trev had a ma who who died of cancer of the everything. he came home from 6th form to find his old man suspended from the garage mechanism.

these are the parents of someone who was a mate of my best mate and it all happened a long time ago.  did it "affect" me - yes, tbh


I still think frequently about the only person I knew well who killed himself, and that was 21 years ago. 

I guess it is, hoolie, but I don't think it works because I think a lot of people have their significance down to a tee and it won't matter much when they die and honestly best not think about it

(none of my 35 are sad about it they are just put out)

i am pretty sure all stories of suicide are horrid or at least uncomfortable.  baint like the mash theme, think of us left behind.*

*i include myself in that in that clergs.  i dont need to agree with you but i would rather u and melty didnt stray too far into the whole throat thing...

I think about him because no one had any idea why he did it, even if he meant to do it really, and I think about his parents. And everything he has missed and never knew. 

And you might say you know what you would miss out on and you wouldn't miss it, but you don't.  No one does  


When I wrote suicide notes there were only three of them (I suppose I could have done separate ones for my parents to up the count), and even that felt too self-indulgent.


(and this is more about the pragmatism of the statement than general musings)

I can honestly say that had I died 21 yrs ago  I would be fine with that based on between now and then

Between now and +21 I don't know but that's not famous for being the good part

Re why, I never wonder this question because why not seems the more salient question. 

Turbo sad for his parents obv


Clergs - you'd leave a massive hole on ROF without your relentless cheery optimism and there must be at least 35 people who ROF.

Then think how it would affect ROF Jamie's family when instead of going home at 5pm ROF Jamie has to stay late to fill the content void created by your demise. Let's imagine he has a wife and a nipper and we're already up to 38 affected without counting all the people you meet on your beloved networking events.

Then add all the people who'd have to listen to your mother tell them how she was right about you and how terrible it is and you're probably by now into the thousands.

:( @ phoebe

*unBritish cyber hug*

I hope you feel all right now.


I also knew a chap (not dave) from school who had issues with his step dad (tbf not dave was a massive stoner but stepdadnthereof was a man with roman eyes and russian fingers) and he ended up at 16 thinking it was best to snooze in the garage in the fiesta

and turned on the ignition for the heat...


silly cvnt 

Clearly it would affect my colleagues to some extent so that combined with friends and family would probably get me past 135 people.

Roman eyes and russian fingers is a good phrase had never heard before.

Hm didn't think of colleagues but they'd just assume I'd moved elsewhere. 

I once worked somewhere where someone jumped into the atrium on a Friday afternoon and that affected quite a lot of people.

"roman eyes and russian fingers"


what does this mean?

Lustful eyes and snatchy fingers I think

Bit problematic for our times

Honestly I'm surprised the atrium thing doesn't happen more often

tbf i am fairly sure I picked up that phrase from a stephen king book.  poss needful things?

Hm didn't think of colleagues but they'd just assume I'd moved elsewhere. 

Do you really think people wouldn’t be told? Your death would affect way more people than you seem to think.

A girl in my year died in a car crash when we were 16. She wasn’t a close friend but I knew her, and her death still affects me to this day. I know it wasn’t suicide so it is different, but it was still a tragic and unexpected death.

I keep meaning to read him again

Got any horror reccos? Am a fan of Joe king

Stix I know a couple of people who have committed suicide this year and I only know from gossip it was never announced. Family privacy etc.

Surely you were told they died though, even if not how/why?

It was definitely announced in my office as the place was swarming with counsellors the following Monday.

I think your situation is a little different, Sails. Bit hard to cover that one up.

Nope. Not a word, just they're no longer with us. I think it's easier in cultures where people work very independently. 

Clergs, let's be serious here. If you'd topped yourself several years ago you would never have known the joy of frose. Or hung out with the likes of us. Surely that is enough to balance out all the other crap??

heh!! a world with those things definitely is vastly improved, meh. (and genuinely now is much better than 21 yrs ago) (I just think most of the fears I had have turned out to be true or underestimated and also there are some new ones)


I am coming to London again later in the month and would like to try and make us have frose pls.





sorry about that massive carriage return I don't know why it happens

Surely most people have more than that on social media, meaning that at least that number would be affected in some way

maybe it depends on what you mean by affected

I mean if I read a tweet about a suicide I would be sad for the person's family but would I be entitled to claim that I was affected per se?

So I just discovered today that a guy I used to work with has died. Not suicide but something as equally unnecessary. Feel deeply deeply sad about it. Such a lovely bloke. Such a terrible waste. His poor family :(

Granted that I'm nowhere near as affected as they are, but he made an impact in life and it will always feel so unfair in death.

bearing in mind there are many many utterly awful grief loving cunts out there who vaguely know you, don’t give a shit about you in life but revel the sympathy of the ‘oh your friend died, you should do something nice to cheer yourself up that’s so awful HUN omg I can’t imagine what you’re going through’ then 135 is easily reached