A poor Allen & Overy PA was forced to witness a stranger getting naked last month and defecating in a train aisle.
Ellie Bekir had just boarded the 5.45pm from London Liverpool Street to Southend in February when her commute was disrupted by a nude passenger weeing into a bottle and decoupling a small brown carriage onto the floor.
She told the Daily Mail that she was on the train with a friend when they noticed people "moving towards our section of the carriage". When they looked up they saw a man, later identified as 57-year-old Malcolm Hines, with his trousers down "peeing into a bottle. He was facing away from us and he never looked around."
"You have caused confusion and delay."
Bekir said that everyone in the carriage was "freaking out about it". The stranger then removed his shirt, got completely naked and "kept bending forward so you could see everything". The PA said "at one point he put his finger in his bum for a few seconds. It was absolutely bizarre. We didn't know whether to laugh or cry."
While doing one or both of those things, Bekir retained the presence of mind to capture the incident on her phone. Police removed Hines at Stratford, and he has been charged with one count of outraging public decency. British Transport Police said the charge "relates to a report of a man being naked and defecating on board a train service shortly before 6pm”.