Exclusive: The Texas Law Hawk shows how PR is done
22 May 2015
In a sequel more burdened with expectations than Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Texas Law Hawk has released a follow-up to his blockbuster Youtube advert in which he
did all kinds of great stuff like fail to snap a branch
It is not hyperbolic to say it is the best thing you will see today featuring
The commercial opens with a melancholy, almost mythic air as US attorney
Bryan Wilson, aka the Texas Law Hawk, runs in slow motion towards
the camera holding the American flag, superimposed with a hawk and, for good measure,
another flag, while a keyboard picks out America the Beautiful
in a mournful minor key.
Then, BLAMMO! Texas Law Hawk shrieks "Texas Law Hawk
", a hawk screams, the screen explodes and Wilson pops up in a wood snarling "Talons of justice
There's no time for slomo now at the Texas Law Hawk plucks a fish from a river with his bare hands and runs through the forest with his flag, growling.
Things then take a rapid turn for the surreal as the action cuts to a mean cop carrying a small dog...
...spying on a group of
men deliriously playing Hungry Hungry Hippos
Quite correctly, the officer suspects they are high on drugs, and orders the hysterical gamers to let him in without a warrant.
Luckily one of them gets a call from the Texas Law Hawk, and before he can even answer the man himself smashes
through the door shouting.
Without giving them time to explain, he takes action.
Briefly, the Texas Law Hawk allows viewers to see his soft side, breaking into laughter as he tries to growl "Texas Law Hawk
". Then he leaps carefully out of a moving 4x4, the hawk screeches and there's an explosion.
Thanks to, well, the Texas Law Hawk for bringing his latest spectacular to RollOnFriday's attention. "Hey RollonFriday Editors!
" he wrote, "Bryan Wilson, the Texas Law Hawk here! I noticed y'all wrote an article about my first commercial. I just wanted to send you a link to the second one we just released. Hope you enjoy!
Usually people have to pay to advertise on RollOnFriday, Texas Law Hawk, but, dammit, you're still law's best answer to Steven Seagal.