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Exclusive: KWM launches freelance lawyer business
17 March 2017
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King & Wood Mallesons has launched a flexible lawyer business called KWM Connexions.

It may sound like a deeply flawed social media service, but KWM Connexions will actually be a freelance lawyer service similar to BLP's Lawyers on Demand. Run by the firm's Australian office and due to be launched in Australia, KWM has not revealed whether it plans to roll out KWM Connexions in the UK. It may want to take the opportunity to rebrand in London if so. Even though KWM's London office is a completely new entity with no structural konnekxionz to the obliterated firm, the KWM name is now synonymous in the City with catastrophic mismanagement and dismal failure.

"KWM Summer & Chestnuts LLP, how can I help you?"

While firms can shake off the unparalleled ignominy of being awarded the Golden Turd, none has scored as appallingly as KWM. One (now ex) staffer's scathing testimonial was typical of many of the responses this year: "the manner in which the firm's problems were managed in the years following this sod-awful merger with KWM is a textbook example at an utter disregard for a firm's financial health and its staff". Presumably some of those very same staff are now sadly available for exactly the kind of freelance work KWM Konnect4 intends to offer. But would rather staple their eyelids to their buttcheeks than work on a zero hours contract for the brand, and some of the partners, which shafted them so royally.
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Please keep it nice. Thanks.

anonymous user
18/03/2017 21:32
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Hello Operator, how may I kon-nect your call?
anonymous user
19/03/2017 15:19
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Staple their balls to their scrotum more like . . .

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