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Wedding shenanigans audit
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Martian Law
Posted - 09 August 2018 11:54
Inspired by Anna. Points as follows:

1) Pulled a fellow guest 1 point
2) Shagged a fellow guest 2 points
3) Given a speech 1 point
4) Fallen over (drunken or otherwise)
in public view 1 point
5) Been escorted out 5 points
6) Pulled a bridesmaid or Usher 2 points
7) Pulled Best Man or Maid of Honour 3 points
6) Shagged a bridesmaid 4 points
7) Shagged an Usher 4 points
8) Pulled Father or Mother of Bride or Groom 6 points
9) Shagged Father or Mother of Bride 10 points
10) Been sick in public view 5 points

Post points pls

Mine is a solid 14
Monkeygirkl
Posted - 09 August 2018 12:36
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You've given 14 speeches? Well done man!
Martian Law
Posted - 09 August 2018 12:40
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well spotted Tecco. 5 points for that

Yup Girkl, I'm quite good at speeches
Chambers
Posted - 09 August 2018 12:46
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I'm going to one in a couple of weeks time. I'll print off the checklist and let you know.
Chambers
Posted - 09 August 2018 12:48
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I suspect it will be nul points though.
Tricksy Woo
Posted - 09 August 2018 12:48
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NIL NOTHING ZERO
Used Psychology
Posted - 09 August 2018 12:50
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Is each act with a separate person?

If so, 14 points.
rogermellie
Posted - 09 August 2018 12:58
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if you have done it more than once do points double?

if not 13
Pinkus
Posted - 09 August 2018 13:13
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"6) Shagged a bridesmaid 4 points"

Does it count if the bridesmaid was your Mrs?
Martian Law
Posted - 09 August 2018 13:30
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Multiple points for each occasion. Counts if your Mrs (otherwise we get into semantics about whether "seeing someone")
January Sails
Posted - 09 August 2018 13:32
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Can I claim the points for shagging a bridesmaid and a guest by virtue of shagging a bridesmaid or does the guest category exclude the wedding party itself? Similarly can I claim points for snogging the same person I shagged?
Jabberwangy
Posted - 09 August 2018 13:34
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just the 4 speech points for me. one groom, one bm and two giver awayer of the brides. last category deffo the easiest.
Martian Law
Posted - 09 August 2018 13:36
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guest category is separate from bridal party

My drafting is taking a beasting
Used Psychology
Posted - 09 August 2018 13:36
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Are you still a guest if you have gatecrashed?
Coracle Lolling
Posted - 09 August 2018 13:38
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What happened at Tarquin's wedding?

Oh, there were some real shenanigans.

Really?

Yes, two speeches were given

Wow.

And later that night the bridesmaid shagged the bloke she'd been seeing for 4 years.

Oh, what shenanigans.
Used Psychology
Posted - 09 August 2018 13:42
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Wang retains dignity by avoiding weddings shocka?
funsize 12
Posted - 09 August 2018 13:59
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What if you snog / shag a guest who was also your partner?
Badman
Posted - 09 August 2018 14:00
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12. Meh*.



*FOAD I have neither pulled, shagged nor vomited on Meh.
funsize 12
Posted - 09 August 2018 14:03
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19 assuming only count each item once, and depending on how public the vommage needed to be. It was certainly seen by multiple people, though a mercifully low %age of the guests.
3-ducks
Posted - 09 August 2018 14:14
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I think you'll find that's pr0n


Tecco
Posted - 09 August 2018 12:59
shagging the bride or groom, when not being either of them yourself. I've seen some documentaries about that happening
Crazy Puppy
Posted - 09 August 2018 14:17
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Surely for complete fairness this has to be a best effort from one wedding? I.e. you cannot 'tot up' points over the course of a lifetime of attendance.

Otherwise the more weddings you have been to the more likely you are to score big.

Silly Billy
Posted - 09 August 2018 14:26
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wot, no points for flashing the mother of the groom? Stewards' enquiry!
Vitaly_Chernobyl
Posted - 09 August 2018 14:30
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Any bonus points for crashing a car on the way to a wedding?
Crazy Puppy
Posted - 09 August 2018 14:38
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So you basically need to do some highly pissed up serial shagging before being sick, falling over and then being escorted off the premises.

New categories that need adding:

- shagged the bride / groom (when you are not one or the other) 100 points
- shagging the head bridesmaid / best man 30 points
- full nudity in a public area (typically seen at beach weddings or where the venue has a lake) 5 points
- the groom's party can earn extra points for each hour they keep him in the bar the night before the wedding, multiplied by the amount of alcohol consumed during this time. Bonus points if the groom is on spirits.
- waking up hotel guests who are not part of the wedding party, to the point they either come out of their room to take issue with you or call reception - 1 points per guest
- urinating anywhere but the toilet - 1 point
- getting minors drunk - 2 points per minor




The Nutsacker Ballet
Posted - 09 August 2018 19:25
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4
Elfi
Posted - 09 August 2018 19:41
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Jaysus you lot go to boring weddings

What about:
- Getting arrested
- Shagging a Reverend, Priest, or Registrar
- Fighting
- Causing an accident necessitating an ambulance and/or visit to A&E
- Shagging a member of the choir
- Knocking over the wedding cake (bonus if before it had been cut)
- Snoring during the church service
cІubman
Posted - 09 August 2018 19:50
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a friend ended up dating a member of the choir - albeit not from a wedding but from his wife's funeral...
aviator
Posted - 09 August 2018 20:16
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Me too Laz, four.
Chambers
Posted - 09 August 2018 20:19
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I am going as a guest to the forthcoming one. A bit like a Special Agent Gibbs character from NCIS to keep an eye on things I suspect.
The Nutsacker Ballet
Posted - 09 August 2018 20:48
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I was on a stag do once where a member of the party won a t1t wank off one of the barmaid-strippers by winning a shoe-throwing contest. He claimed the prize, too, although he was escorted to a back room so the group did not witness.
Chambers
Posted - 09 August 2018 21:13
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I am just big, tall and at my age look fairly authorative Tecco. I have known the bride's father for years and he just asked me to be there.

No boats in my basement.
Buck
Posted - 09 August 2018 21:32
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"I am just big, tall and at my age look fairly authorative Tecco"

Even when you take a knee, Chambo?
Chambers
Posted - 09 August 2018 22:40
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Not when the National Anthem plays Buck. Its not mine, but I always show respect when I'm there. Hope you do too.

Chambers
Posted - 09 August 2018 23:05
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They are both good sports to watch and play Tecco.