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Main Discussion

Tets oot for me, eh
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Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 20 March 2017 08:54
Which is forrin for boobs on screen for me please.

I have had some medical tests and now have a meeting at 9.30 to discuss wha' gwan on the MRI.

I had not planned this before 50 so I just have one thing in today's diary...it says 'bollox'.

2 days to go until 20th wedding anniversary/ toastrackfest and I don't know how to play or. Tell her exactly what is said or go with 'still finding out' until later. Probably former, I think. Honesty etc. But it might take the edge off the toast rack elation.

My mother is clearly using her transcendental powers. Has not spoke to me for months then miraculously remembers my mobile number this morning at 7.30. Didn't take her call. Wait till I know what's going down.

Come on the ROF let's kill this with positive vibes and boobs.
Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 20 March 2017 08:55
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Mostly boobs pls
Nice ones
chimes ♥
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:01
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*boobs on screen*

If it's worrying you, speak to your wife about the tests. I'd be pretty upset if I found out that Mr C was keeping important health stuff to himself, to save me from worrying...

Hope all goes well with the doctor this morning.
Heffalump
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:01
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honesty, mutts, always honesty
best of luck
Keith Nearing
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:02
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Can't do the boobs thing but fingers crossed etc.
Trigger Warning
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:03
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I just had my girls crushed in a boob splattering photo taking machine so they're a bit bruised but since I've whipped them out for the docs I'll place them on phone for you. Moobs in return are appreciated. Let's hope this is not 'the lump' but just 'a lump'
Monkeygirkl
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:04
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*crosses fingers, toes and eyes*
daddycam
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:10
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good luck! Hope it's all OK.
Merkz
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:12
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always honesty m7 (at least for this sort of thing, obviously she doesn't need to see how often midget pron appears in your browser history)

best of luck. getting older sucks; make sure that you are doing what makes you happy.
Bright Carver
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:13
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Good luck, Mutts.
Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:14
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Cool. That's the spirit.

Talking about spirit, I drank a couple of double-barrelled Kentucky bourbons last night and I have a real head on today. If that was malt I'd have nothing to show for it. Jesus, what's in that shytte?
Hey there! I am using WhatsCYP
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:39
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redneck pyss and liquid smoke...


Hope you're either dying really fast or really, really slow. It's the mid-speed dying which is a real pita.
Heffalump
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:42
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we can but hope that at this very moment a learned doctor is fingering botti's rectum and pulling out what was feared might be a malign tumour but is in fact the corroded remnants of a Slaughter and May self propelling pencil inserted c.2003
Bright Carver
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:44
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HEH @ Heff.

*Doc realises he's found a hidden treasure, wipes off the worst on his sleeve and drops pencil into 99.9% isopropyl solution for later*
Osama
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:44
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Best wishes

Here's hoping its just a recurrence of the humour bypass you had a while ago
saoirse99
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:45
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Wait, surely what you tell her depends on what they say? (Personally i cant stand having to manage other people's feelings so i keep everything completely secret but i think that's the wrong way).

What are MRIs for again?

Good luck.
Twinkle twinkle little wang
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:45
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Is this the test for Kleinfelters? I have been telling you to get that for 10 years.
Hey there! I am using WhatsCYP
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:46
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Mr Botti - there appears to be a document lodged in your rectum.....

Oh my goodness - is that abnormal?

absolutely nothing unusual - vanilla unamended LMA standard form.
Twinkle twinkle little wang
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:48
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Mr Botti what seems to be the problem

Doctor I seem to have a lettuce leaf stuck in my o-ring

I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg sir
polz
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:49
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( * ) ( * ) on screen for you, botti.
Osama
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:50
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Doctor i think I'm a moth

Why are you here then?

The light was on
Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:50
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Heh

Well that was quick

It is a thing. Not the thing they suspected but a manageable thing requiring small surgery and luck but if that doesn't work bigger surgery.

Melman's not dying...

Bentines
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:51
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all the best mutters
Hey there! I am using WhatsCYP
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:51
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Mr Botti, you appear to have zacktly disease.

Gosh, what does mean doctor?

it means your breath smells zactly like your arse.
Heffalump
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:51
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How long do you think it's been in there, doctor?

I'm pretty sure that Leitz phased out that sort of staple cartridge in about 2008, so could easily be ten years
Dogwarden 2016
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:51
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Week off so books on garden fork! I'm with chimes on this.
Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:52
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Relieved. Now work beckons but I feel like an affirmatory pint is in order ...

Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:53
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What doggers? Encore en anglais
Heffalump
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:54
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good stuff

and yes, drinking before 11am is almost certainly exactly what the doctor would have advised if only you'd asked him/her
Hey there! I am using WhatsCYP
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:55
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Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:56
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I realise that my explanation appears to support Wang's Kleinfelt syndrome diagnosis.
I'd like to make clear that I refute that.
Osama
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:57
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You've had a second chance at life. Call your boss a wanker and walk out to become a mechanic
daddycam
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:57
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thing is, you can blame anything on the medical procedure.

Christ Botters, it's 12 o'clock, you are swaying, smell like a brewery and your rectal effluxion just killed the office cat!
yeah, sorry about, the docs did warn there'd be some side effects. I've got a prescription for a kebab that I need to collect at 2 as well...
Hey there! I am using WhatsCYP
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:57
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had I realised you had Klinefelter's I'd have insisted you put your own boobs, and tiny Koch, on the screen.
daddycam
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:57
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Call your boss a mechanic and walk out to become a wanker
Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 20 March 2017 09:59
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There's a partner at CC in the US called George Kleinfelter I think. Small heh.
Judy_Carter
Posted - 20 March 2017 10:01
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to right boob for you, botti
Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 20 March 2017 10:05
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'That wasn't just a fart...that was an M&S rectal effluxion'

iPhone offered 'recital effluvium'. Trump shout!

'
Montagueh
Posted - 20 March 2017 10:10
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Glad your worst fears were not confirmed...hope the little operation sorts it out...