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Japanese lawyer endorses questionable fitness product

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30 January 2018 14:11
An advert has been unearthed of a lawyer endorsing a bizarre fitness product.  

Pao Facial Fitness was marketed in 2014 as the season's must-have face tightener to prevent shameful sagging. The advert contrasts a "tight face" with the horrors of a time-ravaged "slack face" drooping like a melted waxwork:

     

To avoid plastic surgery or looking like a Botox-riddled balloon à la Simon Cowell, Facial Fitness Pao offers another solution: toning up with a facial work-out.

     

Though the model appears to be trying to release a trapped dove from her mouth, she is actually engaging in a form of exercise. Dubious exercise.

Given that the legal profession is awash with jowly lawyers whose only facial work-out is bellowing at trainees, Pao Facial Fitness thought it appropriate to turn to a lawyer to extol the product's virtues:   

       

Japanese lawyer Yukio Kikuchi of Bancho Law in Tokyo says in the promo that he "never thought about exercising the face" but gushes that it had "quite an impact" on him. Although the advert adds the disclaimer "this is a personal opinion". 

And here is Kikushi three and a half years later with a visage as smooth as a baby's bottom that's been preserved in greasing oil and margarine: 

     

And here's how he would look today were it not for the wonders of Pao (this is a personal opinion):

     

Other office workers who were less fortunate were rounded up in a room for a terrifying execution-by-cheek-flapping:

   

And celebrity gel-head Cristiano Ronaldo has been paid a King's ransom to hold the product absolutely loves the product. Although the company appears not to have had the funds to pay him to actually put it in his mouth:

     
 
  

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anonymous user
29/01/2018 18:10
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Where can I buy one? I need this.
anonymous user
30/01/2018 12:46
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Can't make this up.
anonymous user
31/01/2018 11:36
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This is profoundly disturbing.
anonymous user
04/02/2018 18:18
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Looks like someone has tried to repackage a toy from Soho
anonymous user
09/02/2018 08:53
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Certainly made me smile this morning :)