An advert has been unearthed of a lawyer endorsing a bizarre fitness product.
Pao Facial Fitness was marketed in 2014 as the season's must-have face tightener to prevent shameful sagging. The advert contrasts a "tight face
" with the horrors of a time-ravaged "slack face
" drooping like a melted waxwork:
To avoid plastic surgery or looking like a Botox-riddled balloon à la Simon Cowell, Facial Fitness Pao offers another solution: toning up with a facial work-out.
Though the model appears to be trying to release a trapped dove from her mouth, she is actually engaging in a form of exercise. Dubious exercise.
Given that the legal profession is awash with jowly lawyers whose only facial work-out is bellowing at trainees, Pao Facial Fitness thought it appropriate to turn to a lawyer to extol the product's virtues:
Japanese lawyer Yukio Kikuchi of Bancho Law in Tokyo says in the promo that he "never thought about exercising the face
" but gushes that it had "quite an impact"
on him. Although the advert adds the disclaimer "this is a personal opinion
And here is Kikushi three and a half years later with a visage as smooth as a baby's bottom that's been preserved in greasing oil and margarine:
And here's how he would look today were it not for the wonders of Pao (this is a personal opinion):
Other office workers who were less fortunate were rounded up in a room for a terrifying execution-by-cheek-flapping:
And celebrity gel-head Cristiano Ronaldo
has been paid a King's ransom to hold the product
absolutely loves the product. Although the company appears not to have had the funds to pay him to actually put it in his mouth: