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Don't You Forget About Wee

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15 June 2017 11:15
Problem of a reader:

"I have a male colleague with very bad toilet manners who always urinates on the toilet seat. I can't prove it was him though and it's seems a bit of a taboo to confront him on it. What do I do?"

The Legal Agony writes:

RoF is full of stories of people who seem unable to aim their urine down a foot wide hole from 2 feet away - as well as people who deliberately wee and poo in any old receptacle, from shoes to bins to stairwells.  You could perhaps think yourself lucky that all you have to deal with is urine, in the toilet and not poo in your jacket pocket.

 This could solve all your problems and keep the office rent down

Maybe you need to suggest the creation of a "Toilet Monitor" at the next team building event?  And hope it won't be you. Institute inspections before and after each visit.

 Thanks for sending in a photo of how the loo looks now

The Monitor could lock the loos and keep the key on a massive keyring made from a wireless keyboard to something (like they do in rural service stations) so they can keep a check on each visitor.  I suspect the frequency and length of everyone's toilet breaks would decrease if we had to claim the key and you sound like a heavy user with a love for the smaller spaces so let's park that.

Maybe suggest that there be a competition to see who can wee on the seat the most and when the urinator comes to claim his prize you can have him bang to rights?  You may have to require photo evidence which may not be pretty or impressive (although I am reliably informed all things look smaller from above).

 With a snappy name, maybe it will catch on!

Obviously what I want to do is tell you to wire up the seat to the mains (don't try this at home folks!), however I suspect the HR department won't be keen.  Although maybe if you campaign for some of those fancy Japanese toilets which are all singing and dancing then you may get lucky with a wiring problem which does the job for you.

 I understand this goes up to 11!

Good luck.

  

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