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Blogs

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Blog Name: James' blog

Appropriately placed stories
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2
13 October 2017

As RollOnFriday uncovers the Weinsteins of law, it appears the BBC has come up with a good name for them:

     

The Beeb's article says:

     

Alternatively, fatbergs can be purified by checking in to a 5 star clinic in Malibu for hot stone therapy, refreshing cold press juices and meditation to an Enya playlist.
 
If there is a Harvey Fatberg at your firm, let RollOnFriday know.

.... read more >
Parked outside Freshfields
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11 October 2017

 Looks like the new client has arrived.

 
 

 

Either that or they're about to annex the Polish Embassy up the road.

Jones Day will be jealous.


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Rubbish freebies for painful commute
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29 August 2017

To the sound of furious tutting across Surrey and Hampshire platforms, South-West Trains has been providing an arse-clenchingly bad service this month full of delays and cancellations while Waterloo station undergoes major works. This RollOnFriday reporter is caught up in the first-world transport chaos.

Parachuted in to deal with the crisis, South West Train's PR team has been busy trying to calm customers by reducing fares to reflect the upheaval by handing out unnecessary freebies. Cheery train staff at Waterloo have been dishing out ice-cream to trick our brains into thinking we're on a seaside holiday; but after the vanilla hit, reality kicks in and we remember we're on a bleak concourse, staring at a list of cancelled trains, and we shouldn't have stripped down to our speedos.







"It will have completely melted
by the time your train arrives"
 

The train company has also been arming commuters with bizarre survival packs. First, what appears to be a condom wrapper:










Severe delays and packed trains will allow strangers to get to know each other intimately by the time they reach Clapham
 
 

But on opening the packet:
 










A sugar rush to compensate for missing that interview or arriving late for a funeral

 

And in a wildly misconceived corporate idea, South-West trains is providing stranded commuters with the world's most boring set of Top Trumps. "STATION FACTS":
 
     
     












"Hi honey, I'm massively delayed and can't make Milo's first birthday. On the plus side, I have Brockenhurst which is one of the top cards for platforms"

 

Although an accurate card should probably look like this:


   

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Mishcon lawyers wangle free booze for mouse sighting: times are tight
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29 August 2017

Mishcon De Reya lawyers have been accused of using London's vermin to score free drinks. Some have queried whether the mouse they claim to have spotted was even real.

The Mishcon group, which included a qualified solicitor and a trainee, fell into Haz bar on Foster Lane after work earlier this month. The "very merry" band ordered some wine, and while the drinks were "cheap", said a witness, "a couple of them are trainees so on very little money" (£38,000). Which may explain why one of the women returned to the bar and said she had seen a mouse on the other side of the room, then demanded that their drinks should be free as compensation. When a suspicious customer asked who she was, she "totally kept her gaze" on the waitress, said a source, "even leaning over the bar to get closer to her", and replied that she was a litigation lawyer at Mishcon.

Suitably impressed, the waitress crumpled and the woman "went back to the table and celebrated the fact" that "she had got more drinks free". But, said a source, the lighting, "is so low in there I'm not sure how they would have even seen a mouse when they were sat around 30 feet away". Staff and at least one customer hunted for the mouse, but it "was nowhere to be found".

Haz & pals

 

A Tripadvisor review for Haz does note a mouse sighting ("One of the girls squeaked as she noticed a mouse was wandering around below the table").

RollOnFriday contacted one of the Mishcon group for comment, who confirmed that "we ordered a bottle of wine and halfway through the bottle my colleague and I definitely saw a mouse running underneath the tables to the left of me, in fact I jumped at it! My friend went up to the bar and complained and they were super nice and gave us three free glasses of wine, which we didn't complain about."

The Court of RollOnFriday Opinion. Vote! .... read more >
Exclusive: Bungling Daily Mail confuses lawyer with face-tattooed gang member
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1
02 August 2017
The Daily Mail has confused a lawyer with a face-tattooed motorbike gang member.

The strange mistake was made in a story about New Zealand lawyer Steven Welch Rollo, who was recently convicted of possessing methamphetamine. One of Rollo's former clients was Dennis Makalio, a heavily tattooed Kiwi gang member of the 'Mongrel Mob'.

And that was all it took for the Daily Mail to produce an exciting story about a "face-tattoed bikie lawyer":

     
   

The Mail's reporter made her claims about the state of Rollo's face on the basis of a photograph which has been used to illustrate other stories about the lawyer's meth downfall. On the left, it depicts an addled-looking gentleman sporting a Mohawk-mullet combo who is wearing a well-used camo vest and has a face full of tattoos. On the right, a man in a suit.

 
 

Rollo is of course the man who doesn't look like he's wandered out of Mad Max.

To be fair to the Daily Mail, these mistakes can happen when you're under pressure to knock out 25,000 click-bait articles a day. Or maybe the Mail's lawyers have led the journalist to make assumptions.
 
The Daily Mail's legal team arrive at the office. How they look?

 

For an accurate account of the story, here's RoF's take.

For any lawyers who actually do have a massive face tattoo, various options are available.

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Tenuous law story of the week (there's a mention of aggravated robbery)
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19 July 2017

A 19 year old New Zealand man has complained that he struggled to obtain employment because of a tattoo covering half his face.

  If only it was felt tip
 
 

Mark Cropp had previously been serving a two year jail sentence for aggravated robbery.  His cell mate, also his brother, gave him the tattoo after the siblings got inebriated on an alcoholic drink that they had created. Cropp opted for his nickname "Devast8" to be inked on his face, but soon regretted it. The writing was originally supposed to be tiny and just along the jawline but the font size increased massively after the pair had had a skinful.

Cropp looked for a job after being released from prison, but employers said that they wouldn't hire him and laughed at him, right in his unfortunate face. He became devast8ed frustrated at employers being unable to see past the colouring of his skin and posted a photo of himself on a Facebook jobs board saying that he wanted to work. The post received plenty of attention (including "proud of you son" from his Mum in the comments section). Cropp was subsequently inundated with job offers and is due to start work at a scaffolding company next week.

He'll also have the tattoo erased by laser surgery after a local business offered to do it for free. Other options were available:

   He could have tattooed in the gaps
 
 


  He could have cultivated a beard in it
 
 


  He could have played mind games

 

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Parked outside Jones Day
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1
12 July 2017

Jones Day seems to have a habit of attracting flash cars with unusually telling number plates.

There was the solicitor who needs to be reminded what he does for a job:

     

Then there was the trainee on his first day in the office (who parked in a disabled bay):

     

And then there was a humble client:

     

But forget the forgetful lawyer, the trainee Boss and the client Gods, this has to be who staff have been most pleased to welcome to the office:

     



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Desperate marketing of the week
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4
13 April 2017

Law firm Lester Aldridge has delightfully used a headline grabbing story about former Spice girl Mel B allegedly being subjected to domestic abuse, in order to promote its family law services: 

     

The firm may have taken a leaf out of the cynical marketing manual of Cook & Co, Irwin Mitchell or Slater & Gordon.

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Allen & Overy retains 82% of its trainees
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07 March 2017

Allen & Overy will keep on 82% of its Spring-qualifying trainees. The Magic Circle firm has made offers to 32 of its 38 trainees, of which 31 have accepted.

Although 82% is a respectable retention rate, it's slightly lower than the firm has achieved over the last couple of years. It kept on 86% last autumn, 91% last spring, 86% in autumn 2015 and 93% in spring 2015. The firm has consciously shrunk its intake over that period, with 38 trainees in the current March cohort compared with its brood of 46 trainees two years ago.

The trainees will qualify on £78,500. Which is decent wedge, though £6.5k less than peers at Freshfields and Clifford Chance, and like the rest of the Magic Circle not in the same ballpark as US firms. 

The firm put in a so-so performance in the RollOnFriday Firm of the Year survey coming 34th out of the 66 firms, with a score of 66%. It has its perks. One respondent from A&O said "it's rare that you come across lawyers on the other side who are better than you and your colleagues".

via GIPHY


An A&O lawyer taking your call, yesterday
 
The retention rate table as it stands:
 
   

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Silly things seen on the commute
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20 January 2017
For a break from Trump, Brexit and KWM, here are some silly things that I've spotted in London town:

  Flatulence-inducing Spanish cuisine
 

  Furniture to make you chunder
 

  And times are tough for one firm 
 
To be fair, Dentons isn't the only firm to feel the pinch.
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