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The Brexit of BDSM

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23 November 2016 10:08

Mercandbear Fet tying Anna Noctuelle; photo: Fred Hatt

In response to reports that implementing Brexit might be a bit of a legal hassle, I offer a solution. Brexit is remarkably similar to Japanese rope bondage (despite one glaring difference: bondage, unlike Brexit, is consensual).

Bondage practitioners share knowledge on the internet. The few lawyers who don't already know this will be pleased to learn that such knowledge is applicable to Brexit - as in this sample by Miss Anna Bones from to which I have made only minor alterations:

“What is there to actually learn about Brexit?”

It depends! Some people just want to learn some basics so they can have a bit of safe Brexit, others want to become as proficient as they can. If you’re after Brexit fun, then it’s probably not super important to learn about Brexit in suspension, but it’s a very good idea to learn about anatomy, the different kinds of pins and needles you can get, and how to use safety shears.

Anna Noctuelle; photo: Fred Hatt

Brexit requires a good degree of pain processing ability! It’s especially useful to learn to distinguish ‘good Brexit’ from ‘bad Brexit’, meaning the kinds of Brexit that are not harmful (for example, the Brexit you get after a vigorous workout), and that are harmful (such as any kind of sharp Brexit). This will involve trial and error until your brain is able to recognise when it’s OK to push through a Brexit and when it’s time to tap out.

Which bring us to one super important skill: communication! Perhaps this is the most important part of Brexit: learning how to communicate from inside Brexit. The more specific you can be, the better. This also comes with experience – for example, what kinds of Brexit you are feeling, if there are sensations you are not enjoying, if a Brexit needs to be reviewed, etc.

It’s also a good idea to learn how to negotiate before doing Brexit, such asking the Brexiteer questions as well as knowing what kinds of important information to disclose. These can include: any Brexit issues you may have (for example, you sprained your ankle), any medication you may be on, the kinds of Brexit you feel like/don’t feel like, or body parts you are not OK having Brexit on.

Communicating can be difficult: some people space out and become non-verbal, others find it difficult to express their needs or communicate unpleasant sensations out of not wanting to cause offence or because they don’t want the Brexit to come off just yet. This is totally OK. The important thing is to try to have a conversation about it beforehand.

Anna Noctuelle; photo: Fred Hatt

“What about the Brexiteer?”

There are lots of Brexit styles and different people enjoy different techniques and sensations, so it’s really useful (and also loads of fun) to watch people Brexiting in the community.

Brexit can be intense and very physically demanding – this is especially true of suspension-focused Brexit.
Inexperienced people who do not know their Brexit well are less likely to communicate when something is hurting, but Brexiteers rely on feedback because often they must focus on a particular Brexit technique which they are learning, all the while being mindful of others. This is the perfect storm for small nerve injuries.

“Does this mean I have to be super fit and bendy to do Brexit?”

Nope! Brexit is not one size fits all, it’s a very diverse activity enjoyed by grown-ups of all ages, all physical compositions, backgrounds, genders and sexes.

It’s about finding the kind of Brexit you enjoy doing and finding people who want to do that with you. Different people have different Brexit thresholds, and the beauty is in this diversity.

It is also worth noting that although most of the Brexit imagery online depicts petite young bendy girls Brexited by males, this is not the reality of Brexit – there are lots of male identified persons who enjoy being in Brexit, and lots of female identified persons who enjoy Brexiting, and if you’re not into binaries, there is a lot of gender queerness in the Brexit scene as well.

In sum, the Brexit world is a lot more diverse that you might think by just googling ‘Brexit’ on your browser!


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