As
a child growing up, I had always dreamt of being a lawyer. My parents joked
that I came out of my mother’s womb asking probing questions and my childhood
bookshelf was littered with John Grisham novels. I had grandiose ideas of
advocating class action lawsuits in US courtrooms against morally bankrupt
corporations.
I
attended the top law school in London and at the age of 24 left law school and joined
the top litigation firm in the UK. Whilst I could immediately feel that
something didn’t sit right with me, I believed my elders who told me that I
was getting the best training that I could get, and that I would be crazy not
to stick it out.
After
two years, it was clear to me that I didn’t belong in an environment that was
predicated on sycophancy, a face-time culture and working for the big corporations (which I had come to learn was far from
unique to my own firm). My soul felt claustrophobic. So I took the next
obvious, unhelpful, albeit financially prudent step, and went to work for a US
firm that paid me more money.
Whilst
there I caught the eye of a rival and very reputable US firm and was offered the opportunity to live in Los Angeles
for a couple of years working as an international lawyer. I jumped at the
opportunity, thinking, “Here it is.
Here’s my shot – most lawyers would literally kill for this opportunity.”
Less
than 6 weeks in, I was already contemplating my exit from the firm. In spite of
everything that I’d achieved, life at work was abject misery. I felt like I was
experiencing some kind of emotional death characterized by depression and substance
abuse. My soul was crying out and it was high time to listen. The problem was,
I was petrified because I had only ever known the law.
Winter of
Discontent
The
potential causes of disenchantment in the law are wide-ranging but the most
often cited gripes invariably include: the dehumanizing hours, the despair that
comes from generating piles of meaningless paperwork, the yawning gap between
our ideals and the reality, the effects on one’s internal compass, the
relentless obligations to clients and courts and the tedium of handling other
peoples’ problems.
But
if so many people are so unhappy in the law what’s stopping them from leaving
and doing what they really want?
Among
the factors cited in a 2009 YouGov survey for being unable to leave the
profession were:
- The
possible drop in salary – 70%
- The
affect on the family – 37%
- Feeling
too old to change career – 27%
- The
cost of retraining for something else – 26%
- Not
having the right qualifications for what they really want to do – 23%
- Apathy
– 17%
- The
area they want to enter is too competitive – 8%
Whatever
the reason given, for many, the crux of the problem is over-identification. Due
to the drawn out and specialized process of becoming a lawyer, law is often not
just considered a job, but an identity. To make matters worse, the psychology
of the profession is inherently conservative and therefore even small changes
can evoke a great deal of anxiety in people trained to closely follow the rules.
What
many people do not appreciate is how difficult the actual process of
disengagement from the law can be. As I discovered on my own journey, the
emotions connected to saying good-bye and disconnecting from a regular income
do not pass easily or quickly and confusion often reigns. What follows for many
is a crisis of confidence, and possibly a period of depression caused by loss
of work relationships, prestige, status, the feeling of “letting someone down”
and the isolation of going through a process that feels totally out of step
with the rest of the world.
Spring
Awakening
Whilst it’s no great secret that firms
might be best advised to look into ways to better engage their employees (ways
that are increasingly being embraced very effectively in other industries) in the absence of a cultural revolution
in the city, it’s up to each of us, as individuals, to choose a better life for
ourselves.
However,
whilst many lawyers are outwardly extremely competent and relatively financially
successful, inwardly we can feel a degree of uncertainty about our own
decision-making capabilities (born out of analyzing how we managed to get
ourselves into such a position in the first place). Whilst we yearn to take the
bold step out of the profession and into new world filled with passion, purpose
and possibilities, many of us don’t know where to begin looking for the
necessary reassurance, practical advice and support.
Deborah
Arron (author of “Running From The Law”) offers some advice,
“First, unhappy lawyers must listen to their
inner voice……..the pivotal point occurs when unhappy lawyers can clearly
visualize a future away from the law…….No matter how they handle the financial
arrangements, it’s their vision of a more satisfying life after lawyering that
keeps them motivated.“
So
how does one begin to tune in to this ‘inner voice’ and go about forming a
clear vision? For trained and pragmatic lawyers this sort of jargon can sound hokey
at best. The answer, thankfully, is both beautifully simple and heartwarmingly
effective– find yourself a trained, qualified and experienced coach.
Summer
Loving
So why a coach and what does a coach
really do? Well, let’s start with what coaching isn’t. Coaching isn’t
consulting or counseling. A business consultant will
typically use their specific knowledge and prescribe a course of action to
achieve an objective. They TELL the client what needs to be done and may even
do the work that is required.
In contrast,
coaches work off the principle that the clients have all the answers
themselves; they just need a little help identifying what they are and putting them into
action. Through asking the right, often
bold, questions, a good coach will identify the values that drive
you, your vision of a fulfilled future and then work with you to overcome the
limitations that have, up until now, stopped you from having what you want. They
will co-create a detailed action plan with you, then teach you how to access
and engage your energy and resources,
all the while holding you accountable to your action plan to ensure that
you reach your goals.
Put simply, coaches
empower clients to create their own customized and personal solutions and
become the drivers of their own success. Coaching
does not deliver a single solution – it permanently increases the client’s own
ability to repeatedly develop their own solutions.
Coaching is also not counseling. Counseling aims to heal mental and
psychological issues and often examines PAST events. It usually centers on
diagnosing a ‘problem’ that needs to be addressed. In contrast, coaches see
opportunities, not problems, maintaining a focus on the current situation and
actively developing plans for the FUTURE. Counseling focuses on helping people to live functional lives. Coaching
focuses on helping functional people live extraordinary lives.
Some typically focus areas for career transition and life
purpose coaching include:
Whatever your belief, the truth is
that the education, training
and wisdom that lawyers have at their disposal offer an almost infinite number
of employment and self-employment opportunities. A coach’s role is merely to
serve as a mirror to reflect back the magnificence of the real “You”, offering support,
encouragement and practical solutions every step of the way (e.g. ideas to help
you transition or get established on your own) giving you everything you need
to turn your dreams into your daily reality.
Conclusion
It’s fair to say
that the prospect of leaving the legal profession can feel much like stepping
off the proverbial cliff into an abyss of uncertainty. It is so daunting that
many choose inevitable suffering over facing their fears and taking the
leap. But for those who are willing to
tune in and listen to their inner voice, a coach can be an invaluable tool on
the personal path to freedom and joy. The question is simply ‘How ready are you
to explore your true potential and bring your dreams and visions into reality?’
To
learn
more about coaching options that are available OR for a 30min
Complimentary Coaching session please contact Anna Margolis at 07958 270
452.
(Live testimonials available by request)
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